She's not a girl who misses much

New blog

2011-06-05T14:27:00.001-04:00

I've decided to start a new blog.

Please won't you join me there.

Baby, I'm yours

2011-01-05T14:02:00.003-05:00

DUCK BUTT!!

You know you haven't blogged in a while when your browser doesn't autocomplete your domain name.

I'm back, baby!*

*This may or may not be my last blog post for another 3 months.

So yes, the rumors are true. You can stop digging through my trash cans and hyper-pixelating pictures of my stomach.

I am pregnant. Fifteen weeks and three days to be specific. That's about three and a half months, if my maths are correct.

As you can see from this picture, my baby does indeed have a head.

You laugh, but I feared that for about two days. That I'd go to the ultrasound and my baby wouldn't have a head. Because that's pregnancy in a nutshell -- fear. Fear that your baby won't survive the nine months inside you, that it will be born with something wrong, that that Benadryl the doctor told you was OK to take is giving your baby a third eye, that putting your laptop too close to your ute will burn off your baby's eyebrows. Will my baby even have eyebrows? Will it be born eyebrowless?? What a nightmare.

Beyond these fears I'll give you a little FAQ of my pregnancy so far:

Whoops, you're pregnant! Way to go Em! Guess you didn't mean to do that?!?

Listen, jerkwad. I meant to get pregnant. Just because I didn't TELL you I was trying doesn't mean I wasn't. We're just not that close, and it was nunyabizness.

AND EVEN IF I WASN'T (but I was) trying to get pregnant, I wouldn't have been upset. I'm married, I love my husband, we have a home, jobs, are older than 16 and live a pretty happy life. And not to get all Michelle Duggar on you, but I believe children are a blessing. I would have been psyched either way.

So now what? When are you due? What is the baby's sex? What are you going to name it??

Now what is that I let this baby cook for another 25 weeks, godwilling. I am due the end of June. I am not finding out the baby's sex. No, I don't care if this makes you roll your eyes. Yes, I will be able to hold out. No, I don't care that I'll have to shop gender neutral.

As for the names, we're keeping that to ourselves as well. It will be one big giant surprise for everyone the day of. No spoilers on this blog.

Are you going to breastfeed? Will you circumcise a boy? Do you plan on delivering naturally?

I'm sorry, do I know you? No, you're not my husband asking me these questions? Why do people think this is their business? Pregnancy is not a "Get out of the rudeness of asking personal questions free card." That would be hard to put on a card anyway, it's long.

Should you be eating/drinking/doing that?

Yes. I should, Dr. Nobody.

How are you feeling?

I'm feeling OK. I've been telling people that pregnancy is every disgusting thing your body can do, all at once. I'll spare you the details, but you can imagine. I went through a three-week nausea period, a 4-week period where it hurt to be awake, and now I'm going through some pregnancy congestion and pregnancy nosebleeds. Yeah, nosebleeds. Jeff walked by me the other day with a tissue rammed up my nose and sighed, "You're falling apart." And he still kissed me.

Which brings us to...

Is Jeff excited?

Jeff is tremendously excited. He named our baby "Bun" which has stuck, and is a nice alternative to "it" or "he/she." He's bought a ton of baby books already, clothes, and has really taken to the monkey theme for our nursery. See picture:

He's been helpful and supportive and everything I could want in a husband. We are so tremendously excited and eager to meet our little bun. Stay tuned!

Any questions for me? Is anyone still out there?

A self-indulgent post about my self-indulgence

2010-10-01T21:19:00.005-04:00

I, like I suspect many others of my generation, went out tonight and saw "The Social Network."

Now, I'd go out to see a movie written by Aaron Sorkin and directed by David Fincher if it was about the creator of the metal detector. I'd also see movies by lesser known and talented people, but I digress. I was there. And I loved it.

I didn't realize I joined Facebook so early on in its existence. It launched in February of 2004. I was on it by that May, though I don't remember the exact date. Northeastern was definitely one of the first schools it branched out to, as I believe after the Ivy Leagues, they hit the Boston schools.

I don't remember who invited me or how I set it up (I didn't even remember there was an invitation process), but I do remember sitting on my dorm room sofa, in front of a window, dressed in a black shirt, my hair twisted back from my face, holding up my digital camera (my second large purchase with my Boston Globe internship money -- first was an iPod mini) and trying to take a photo that made it look like I didn't care what my Facebook photo was. It's good to see I wasn't the only lemming of my time.

I had just turned 20. I was "reeling" from two break-ups in a years time. The first was my high school boyfriend. The second was the man that was going to be my husband. I'm almost certain they were the first two people I sought out when I signed up.

I remember seeing said HS boyfriend at a mutual friend's house not that long after. "Oh, I didn't realize you were on facebook," I said. (Bull). I had used it to find him, his new girlfriend, various exes, THEIR girlfriends of current and past and over the past six years have used it to stalk numerous people. I get angry when privacy settings get in the way of what I want to know about that girl I used to know 20 years ago. I can' see her face! What does she DO? I tend to rely on Facebook to tell me anything I want to know about a person in a few short lines and then I fill out the rest in my head. A lame bio quote can be so telling...

Facebook is my Internet footprint, the first thing that comes up when you search my name, which is both apropos given how much time I spend on it, and sad, given that I used to be a published writer in a past life. (Today's Local News out of Northern San Diego didn't take off quite like some other ventures of the decade. In fact, they've spiked the website, wiping from existence any proof I ever wrote there or was ever a full-time writer. Perhaps that's a good thing.)

It's crazy to think how Facebook is such a symbol of my generation (I think "my generation," anyways. Zuckerberg and I are the same age and were the same year in college.) I wonder how many hours of thought I've put into it in the past six years. What my profile picture would be (we have 3 wedding pictures printed out in our house -- I have over 450 on Facebook), how my "interests" would make me appear to other people, who to friend and when to friend them (usually one meeting is enough for me to seek you out.) Whenever I friend request someone I don't know that well and they accept, I go to my page and look over my profile. I'm admitting this in a sort of blase way, but it is embarrassing. I try and take an unbiased overview of my page. What do these lines of code and data I update infrequently say about me?

Whenever I host live chats, commenters will ask me to put up a picture (I use an avatar instead and have no interest in sharing the sad truth with them.) I'm not particularly flattered by this, there's just as many people who implore me to shut up. They want to see my picture to see if I fulfil some fantasy about girls and sports. Regardless, I always think, "Why don't they Facebook me?" Some of them do, I know because they friend request me. But I always wonder how I come off. Probably as someone's who's trying too hard and not doing it well enough to make it look easy.

I'd like my internet footprint to be more than Facebook someday. I admire people with great ideas and hope that one day I have one.

And Facebook would probably be the first place I'd share it.

The one where...

2010-08-12T20:11:00.007-04:00

I just ate the World's Worst Sandwich.

There's a lot of hyperbole out there these days. There's even hyperbole of hyperbole. But you have to believe me when I tell you this was, without a doubt, with no exaggeration, hand to God, the World's Worst Sandwich.

Not only is this the only sandwich they serve in Hell's cafeteria, you have to share this sandwich with Satan, who eats this sandwich with his mouth open for all of eternity.

The remains of the World's Worst Sandwich.

I stood in a long line to order the World's Worst Sandwich. I waited among weary travelers, and you could just TELL no one in the group was entirely jazzed about the sandwich selection. But here we were.

I scanned the board of options. It was one of those places where it lists the calorie count next to each choice.

"How helpful," I thought. Thinking back, I had a fairly large lunch where I had an absolutely delightful blackened salmon sandwich. Clearly, I was tempting fate, mocking the sandwich Gods by attempting to have two delicious sandwiches in one day.

I chose a sandwich with 400 some odd calories. This sandwich will allow me to be conscious of my figure, I said to myself. Then I would wash down with a bucket sized coke.

I was immediately filled with regret when I ordered the World's Worst Sandwich. It was a moment that I will no doubt replay in my mind over and over. As I swiped my debit card -- paying more than $9 for the World's Worst Sandwich by the way -- my stomach immediately curdled. I had no desire to eat this sandwich. It was too late though. The events that would deliver me the World's Worst Sandwich were already in motion.

I went to fill up my coke and then wandered back to the sandwich station. An open glass case allowed me to watch as the World's Worst Sandwich was created. I scanned the ingredient buffet, wondering exactly which components were ear-marked for my sandwich. I located them, and I wretched.

Let me tell you something, blog readers, roasted vegetables should never be applied to a sandwich via an ice cream scoop.

I watched the counter boy, the little demon, wipe the sandwich cutting knife across his apron before he sliced the World's Worst Sandwich. I was very appreciative of how conscious he was: whatever trace of tomato juice he wiped off was obviously an upgrade to the rat feces it looked like he washed his apron in.

My number was called. I went to collect the World's Worst Sandwich. But there was a twist.

What's this? A bag of potato chips accompanies the World's Worst Sandwich! Things are looking up!

I was instantly psyched by this positive development in my dinner, but as the bag made the transfer into my hands, I was swiftly crushed: It was the smallest bag of potato chips I've ever seen in my LIFE.

On the back of the potato chip bag it says, "All the flavor. Where's the fat?"

Well, I have a question for you, potato chip bag copywriter.... Where's the [expletive] chips?

I know it's hard to see, so let me tell you that this bag of potato chips had exactly 10 chips in it. And, shocker, they were awful. They don't even bother to call them potato chips. They call them "popped chip snack." Eff you.

I brought the World's Worst Sandwich back to my car. I unwrapped it, surveyed it. It looked dreadful. But still, I'd paid for it. So I bit in.

I should have just taken this sandwich, found the person I hated most in the world, and thrown it in their face. That would have been the appropriate purpose of this sandwich. Every ingredient was the wrong temperature. It tasted like pickled dirt.

If they replaced the hospital pain chart with a chart of sandwiches, with a nice, crispy spicy buffalo chicken sandwich being a 1 -- this sandwich would represent pain so intense you begged for death. I would rather die than eat this sandwich again.

I ate a third of it anyway. Then I crumpled it up and put it on the driver's side seat. I considered running this sandwich into a tree. Taking this sandwich far out in the woods and burying it.

Instead I brought it home and threw it in the trash.

So thank you, Charlton, Massachusetts rest stop "Fresh City," for providing me with the World's Worst Sandwich. You win this time. I learned a valuable lesson today that if I desire a nosh, but also need gas, I would be better off drinking straight from the pump than eating this sandwich.

And I'm still hungry.

Home is wherever I'm with you

2010-08-03T19:37:00.002-04:00

I'm not having a great evening. I rarely cry (and I'm not now), but when I'm feeling down, I try and remind myself how lucky I am. And then I feel even more sad because I'm such a cheesy writer.

Onwards...

My life is 6% better right now because: My husband has made me a home cooked meal the past two nights. And seriously HOME COOKED. There have been carrots pealed and diced, from-scratch marinara sauces simmering and more parsley purchased than will garnish the plates at Applebees this month. It's part of a challenge Jeff is doing, and I'm proud of him for it. And the food is gooooooood. (Check out Jeff's blog for more details of this exciting new project.)
My life is 4.5% better because: Louis CK. I'm mildly obsessed with him right now. Are you watching his show on FX? It's absurdly hilarious. Unless I'm watching it with my mom, in which case it is completely inappropriate and should be canceled immediately.
My life is 3% better because: I hate to come back to food so quickly, but my aunt's homemade blueberry jam/jelly (hell if I know the difference) has been the highlight of my mornings. Things are just seriously, so much better when they are homemade. The Amish are onto something!
My life is 2.37% better because: I found a pair of shorts that I like for the first time since I was a teenager. That is a long time to wear pants in the heat, a lot of unnecessary sweating, a LOT of leg paleness LET ME TELL YOU.
My life is 1.48% better because: I'm drinking beer now. I decided to get into it, GIVE IT A WHIRL, find out what all the RAVES are about. I started with the girly beers (Bud Light Lime anyone?) and am slowly working my way through the Sam Adamses of the world. Not sure it will ever be my first choice, but I'll never feel lonely at a kegger again.
My life is 0.72% better because: Our credit cards are paid off, our non-student loan debt is nearly non-existent, and we're on the track to start buying a home. How FREAKING exciting. It's like I'm almost an adult! (Hoping to get all the way there by 32.)
My life is .0065% better because: I'm working hard, and I know I am. It's satisfying, and it makes me better than you.

What is making your life good right now?

The hate list

2010-07-12T22:07:00.004-04:00

I gotta be honest with you, blog reader: not a lot of thought goes into my blog posts. I don't spend a lot of time crafting a thesis, writing an outline, or stealing jokes from lesser known bloggers. I don't even usually re-read my posts cause damn... I do that all day.

I usually say, hey self... why don't you blog something so you don't feel like such a fracking failure of a writer. Then I cry for 30 minutes, find a topic and head over here to rattle off 15 minutes worth of thoughts, hit publish and send the contents of my word vomit out into cyber space to be found by the kind of people who google, "construction company picnic games contests." (Seriously.)

Just wanted to give you a little insight into the mind of the blog magician.

But since you're here, hey, how about a little story?

When I was in high school (GLORY DAYS!), I used to hang out in big packs of people. On weekend nights, my mother would literally drop me on corners and a huge crowd of like 30 friends would wander the neighborhood until we found a parent willing to let the group of us into their basement where we would TOTALLY MAKE OUT.

When we weren't attempting to open beer bottles by breaking them on the cement, we did things like compile a "Hate List." Now, I know what you're thinking. You're thinking we put other students on it, and spread vicious rumors about classmates. But alas, dear blog reader, my life is not a Tina Fey movie. Examples of things on our hate list included: The pledge of allegiance, the Mowry sisters, and the quadratic formula. See, we couldn't spread vicious rumors about the nerds in our class because WE WERE THE NERDS. And weeeeeee were quirky!

Anyways, I'm pretty sure I held said hate list for the duration of high school, and we'd add as necessary. And then I lost it. I'd give my right arm to see it because it became legendary and I could really use it to milk for a blog post. Oh wait...

As I've gotten older, there's a lot more to hate. Here's a few things I hate:

Milk.
The fact that no one cleans up after me.
Anyone who runs a mile under 12 minutes.
Sylvester Stallone's creepy arms.
Fake laughter.
Thinking.
Bad iced coffee.
When my windshield wipers get sucky.
Myself, for reading Perez Hilton.com.
Star Wars/Major League quotes.
Celebrities who drop 40 pounds 3 weeks after they give birth to four pound babies.
Sunshine.
Sherbet.
Guilt trips.
Crazy cakes statements from Jesse Jackson.
LOLing over 16.
Renee Zellweger's weird squish face.
People who spell Twilight -- Twighlight. You are just all kinds of dumb, girl.
High school boys with more precise hairdos than I have.
People who insist I repeat my last name so they can know how to pronounce it correctly when it doesn't matter/they won't remember.
Anyone who thought the following movies were good: Step Brothers, No Country for Old Men or The Thin Red Line.
The fact I will never look like this.
Insects.
Kombucha. Because I don't know what it is and all of a sudden it's everywhere. I fear what I do not understand.
Lady Gaga.
HTML.
Men's Health.
The credit card commercial that ends with a song playing that says, "Callll meeeeeeee."
Nurses who can't spell surgery. There ain't no sugar in it.
When I want to drop a swear word on the internet but I can't because my "mom" and "my superiors" read my blog.
The fact that this man and I will never be one.
Laziness.
My back.
When my mix CDs get scratched.
Having to create user names and passwords for EVERYTHING.
Bloggers who get free stuff. That ain't fair. I want a year long supply of Venus flytraps, Jordan almonds, desk calendars, SOMETHING.
Excessive hating. Seriously, lighten up.

I'm thinking I'll add to this list as time goes on because I do hate so, so much. What do you hate dear reader? An no, no names.

I'll bet that you look good on the dancefloor

2010-06-20T19:28:00.005-04:00

Do you like music? You do? Gosh, we have so much in common.

I'm a girl. No.... really. As such, I've had a few mix tapes made for me in my life. I guess I attract that kind of man. It could be worse. I could attract the kind of man who gives me an STD.

Mix tapes are a great thing to receive, whether it be from a friend or someone who's interested in you (the MORE you KNOW). Jeff has made me a boat load of mix CDs in our relationship, I'd venture to say over 30. He's been, basically, my entire source of new music over the last four or so years. He always complains how I don't make any mix CDs for him... how could I? I'm a hermit.

But recently, I've been exchanging mix CDs with a friend. And like Rob Gordon once said, "The making of a good compilation tape is a very subtle art. Many do's and don'ts. First of all you're using someone else's poetry to express how you feel. This is a delicate thing."

When you make somebody a mix CD you desperately want them to love it. You want them to think, "The maker of this CD is keenly aware of all things cool. She obviously is someone with many friends with tattoos and piercings and probably once had purple hair. She eats all her food with chopsticks and conducts her business at coffee houses. She knows sign language and has been to Croatia."

Anywhoozle, I went the ol' Cover Songs route the last exchange. And if I do say so myself, it was pretty dope. (Do people still use that word? If not, they will, because I have, and I am at the forefront of TRENDS.)

Here be the track list. And here's a link to all the songs on a playlist. Love 8tracks!

Track 01: Into the Mystic -- Glen Hansard and Marketa Irglova (Van Morrison)

A few months ago I saw a little movie called "Once." If you have not seen this movie, you need to DROP IT right now and rent it. I enjoyed it so much I watched it twice, nearly back to back. I loved it so much I wouldn't shut up about it. I like it so much that you would not want to see it just because, just to spite me, because I love it so much. While spite is a perfectly good reason not to see a movie, I urge you not to miss out just because I make you roll your eyes. The movie stars the aformentioned Hansard/Irglova combo and their voices are like butter and brown sugar together. And Into the Mystic is one of my favorite songs of all time.

Track 02: Baby I'm Yours -- Arctic Monkeys

Track 03: Overkill -- Colin Hay

Technically cheating. I did not know this was a self cover until I was halfway through watching the VIDEO of the original and thought to myself, "Duhhh... these two lead singers sound awfully alike!" Then I walked into a doorframe and washed a pen with my clothes.

Track 04: Bizarre Love Triangle -- Frente!

Don't you love when a female covers a male vocal? This song is so stripped down it's GAWGEOUS.

Track 05: Jolene -- White Stripes

GOOSEBUMPS. Not the series, the sensation.

Track 06: I Just Can't Help Falling in Love With You -- U2

Track 07: Just Like Heaven -- Laura Cortese

Track 08: Hurt -- Johnny Cash

Track 09: Asshole -- Tom Petty

Track 10: Sheena Is a Punk Rocker -- Yeah, Yeah, Yeahs

Track 11: Live and Let Die -- Guns and Roses

These are all pretty self explanatory, right? I'm going to keep going if you don't mind.

Track 12: Gone Daddy Gone -- Gnarls Barkley

I popped this one on here because said friend is a Violent Femmes fan. For some reason this song makes me want to the do the mashed potato (do the mashed potato).

Track 13: Don't Let Me Down -- Stereophonics

Track 14: Romeo and Juliet -- The Killers

Track 15: Scarlet Begonias -- Sublime

Track 16: You Ain't Going Nowhere -- Glen Hansard & Marketa Irglova

So nice I had to include them twice. Oooooo weeee!

Track 17: Running to Stand Still -- Elbow

Track 18: Wonderwall -- Ryan Adams (Thanks Jessica!)

Track 19: Mad World -- Gary Jules (it's a cover, look it up!)

Track 20: Last Kiss -- Pearl Jam

Track 21: I Will Survive -- Cake

Track 22: I Just Gotta Get a Message to You -- Gavin Castleton

I love a good key change. Who doesn't?

What other good covers are there out there? Anyone else have any good summer playlists they want to share? Hello... is this thing on?

It couldn't have been that easy to forget about me

2010-06-04T22:42:00.005-04:00

Did you know that one of the suggestions blogspot gives you for tags is "scooters"?

I'm afraid I'm not here to write about scooters. I have something even more exciting than scooters to talk about. No, not super shammies.... EVEN better.

I had a good week/end. And is there anything that makes you feel better about your life than knowing my life is good? I thought not.

It all started at Sharx. (Not a gay bar, unfortunately.)

Duh... nuh... duh... nuh... dun nuh dun nuh.

I brought my clever pop culture references down to Rhode Island for a night to celebrate the 27th of one of Earth's truly fine fellas: my bestie Justin.

The birthday boy.

Not the birthday boy.

It was a truly fine time. I drank some girly drinks, reminisced with my oldest friends about all the dumb stuff we used to do and ate boneless buffalo wings at an unreasonable hour. Success!

But Rhode Island wasn't done with me yet. Not by a long shot.

(I thought this blog needed a little cliffhanger drama.)

The next day Jeff and I headed back to the Ocean State for a BBQ at my uncle's beautiful Scituate home.

Jeff gets SUPER excited when I take him out.

Jeff played about four hours of "bag toss"...

... while I took emo pics of myself lying in the grass. (I call this one "Morning Mist.")

We were also there to celebrate my gorgeous cousin Katie's birthday. (She's the blonde, in case you have trouble deciphering obvious pictures.)

How CUTE is my cousins' baby McKenna? Don't you want to DIE, just LITERALLY DIE when you see this picture? No? Still alive? It's cool, you don't have a soul.

Family time done, Jeff and I were off to NYC in the morning....

We got there around 1 p.m. and headed over the Virgil's for BBQ off a recommendation from my buddy Tim.

I'm not much of a BBQ fan, but this was very good. Jeff loved his sandwich. You still with me?

That night we were headed out to see Conan's live show at Radio City Music Hall.

BUT FIRST!

See these two blurry figures? That's Jessica (at this here hyperlink you can find her highly entertaining blog -- and yes, she's that stunning in person) and her band dude a.k.a husband, Jesse. They were friends of a friend who became real friends because who wouldn't want to be friends with me?

Don't answer that.

Anyways, they've become a staple on NYC trips whether they want to be or not. They met us out at a brewery near Radio City and we talked all things hip. There was an extended conversation on horror movies that I didn't contribute to much (Me: "Derrrrr, I don't like scary movies.") These two actually submitted themselves to the Human Centipede.

And then they submitted themselves to some photos of us, which might be equally disturbing. (I'm on the forefront of self-depricating humor.)

These pictures are a good example of how much cooler Jessica is than I am.

Here's a photo she took of us on my iPhone camera.

And one with hers.

Mine.

Hers.

Sent away in shame because of my inferior cellphone picture technology (jkjkjk) we were off to Conan!

And I did. Oh, I did.

Conan's show was awesome. Totally worth the trip, from the opening act to the end. You know what's fun? Laughing. And I did. A lot. WIN.

The next morning, we were off to Hoboken, N.J. While Jeff conducted a phone interview, I took some more pictures of myself.

I am so into me.

One of these days I'll get it right.

View of NYC from Hoboken.

Cannoli pit stop.

We met up with Zach, one of Jeff's groomsmen and best friends who gave us the 10 cent tour of Hoboken and subjected us to a series of thought provoking questions that made me question my entire existence for about a good 17 minutes.

Then Zach, Jeff and I headed to....

Over the past few weeks my coworkers have spent an unreasonable amount of time talking about ballpark food. Seriously, take the amount of time you could comfortably talk about what food you enjoy/don't enjoy eating at a ballpark, double it, multiply it by pi and add four hours and that's how long we talked about it. So here's my sausage and peppers guys.

Crazy eyes, killa!

Zach and Jeff. Missing is the third piece of the triangle, good friend Steve Sears, who was the best man at my wedding and the frosting in this oreo. Zach managed to call him, though, to keep him part of the group, greeting him over the phone, "Hey, stupid."

It was a beautiful night for a ballgame, and these two spoke while I daydreamed about if I could jump from my seat and manage to grab onto the foul pole. (Spoiler: I decided against it.)

All in all, it was a good week/end. (And other generic endings to posts.)

For those that read to the end, what would you like to see me write about, anything? Nothing? Leave me a comment if you read.

No one's interested in something you didn't do

2010-05-28T18:33:00.008-04:00

You know what I like? Pictures. You know what's even better than pictures? Cell phone pictures. When I see something cool, I instantly want to remember that moment as it would have appeared to me after Dwight Howard and I played one on one. (You come here, of course, for the topical humor.)

What better place to clean out my iPhone then on my blog. Here are some images I've captured over the last few months.

You can't really see what's going on here. That is the point of cell phone photography. On a related note, I snapped these two old women while they were in Dunkin Donuts one weekday morning, ignoring each other and texting on their cell phones. I like to imagine they were texting each other.

Old lady #1: "Have you tried the new bagel twists, homie?"
Old lady #2: "Natch."
Old lady #1: "LOL"
Old lady #2: "Let's put the top down and listen to some GAGA."

I wanted these sneakers for Christmas. I took a photo of the shoes and the box with the brand name and style and forwarded it around to the appropriate people. I didn't get them. This is because most of the people who buy me presents don't actually like me all that much.

After I scoped out the sneakers, I went to the GAP and took pictures of myself trying on clothes. This was all while I was supposed to be out buying Christmas presents for other people. Should I have gotten this dress? It could have changed my entire existence. Just another one of those what-ifs in life.

"Look at this jerk," I said to myself while I snapped this picture. "People will be as outraged as me when they see this photo."

Jeff was pretty excited to go out and play some golf one Saturday morning. Did I mention those shorts are reversable, BECAUSE THEY ARE. Find the five hidden unicorns in our bedroom!

Jeff and I went to go see Seinfeld at Foxwoods. What's the deal with my husband never wanting to pose for pictures?

This is me on the other side of the table, so now you can truly put the pieces together.

This is a picture of something on the SportsCenter set. I'm pretty sure it includes the key to the finale of LOST. (You definitely came for the topical humor!)

It's fair to describe my caption skills as mediocre, but with a birthday party, Memorial Day and trip to NYC upcoming, you'll have lots to look forward in the upcoming days in terms of mobile photography. Maybe I'll do a submit your own caption, because the people seem to like those.

Did you know I have 22 subscribers to this blog... seriously, who are you folks? Reveal yourself and win a free T-shirt!

See you in another life, brutha

2010-05-23T19:56:00.003-04:00

And my reign of clever blog post titles CONTINUES. Awwww yeah... nice. E-five!

What I'm going to do in this here blog post is do a bit of a "live blog" of the LOST finale. It's totally my thing, but you kind of knew that. And you're so glad you came. So come, waste a few minutes of your life with me. ::Takes off shoes, puts on sneakers::

8:05: I'm going to go get a fountain coke (oops, you'd have LOVED to know what I typed there by accident) from the Cumberland Farms up the road. Brb.

8:21: ::Sips coke:: (oh man, that typo would be really unfortunate there). Ah, something about a fountain coke that's better than a regular one, amirite? The sugar is concentrated! And what's the deal with those automatic flushing toilets? Wacky!

My options at the gas station for cups were, no joke, LARGE, LARGE and LARGE. This cup is heavier than a newborn baby. So DON'T YOU JUDGE ME! At least I wasn't there to buy cigarettes. Those things will kill ya. ::Pops peanut M&M::

Anyways, where were we? Ah, the LOST finale. I just want you to know, that while I'm not the biggest LOST superfan on planet Earth, I never wavered in my support of the show. Even in the finale stinks, it will still be one of the best shows ever on TV. That said, if the finale sucks, I may murder a stray cat, just to get a release.

8:27: "Tonight at 12, cure for food allergies in a shot glass of hookworms?" Um, pass.

8:42: They've just gotten to the recap of the Richard episode of this season. I say... second best regular season (non-finale) episode of the show. The episode where Charlie dies was probably the best. Hey, I'm just trying to make conversation here.

8:49: Ten minutes away! How's that for an update!

8:55: Worst job in show business -- John Locke's body double.

8:59: And aaaaawwwwwwayyyy we go!

9:00: Gahhhh we don't need more recap, just got on with it brutha!

9:08: I'm feeling the beginning already. They've stepped up everything, the acting, the scenery, the music, like they always do for finales. This exchange also took place between Jeff and I.

Me: "I think Jack is dying in this episode."

Jeff: "I agree." ::pause:: "You should get that prediction down. That way you can prove you predicted it. That's how predictions work." Predication.... made.

9:15: "What was this dog's name? Mitch? Buddy? Spot?" Oh hey, it's Rose and Bernard. Don't care, don't care, don't care. "Oh yes Desmond, you will." Not the best dialogue ever. We're 20 minutes in friends.

Am I the only one enjoying this NBA speech-autotune commercials? I think they're creative. Jeff thinks they're awful. Thoughts? Leave them in the comments. Or just speak directly at the screen. It's the thought that counts.

9:21: Miles and Richard. Two characters I do care about, yet completely forgot about coming into this finale. Yikes, they have a lot of loose ends here.

9:24: Oh hai, Juliet.

9:25: I never get any cool flashbacks. I only get very specific hunger cravings. My life sucks.

9:27: "I can access your mind... through your dreams." Not now, "Inception" trailer. I can't handle. Wait your turn to scramble my brain please.

9:36: Oooooh! Jack v. Smoke Monster. Royal Rumble.

The thing is.... Jack is ALWAYS wrong. They've pretty much established that as a given this entire series. So... will tonight be different? Will pigs fly? Will hell freeze over? And who said you could finish all the peanut M&Ms BRO?

9:40: Juliet is the MOM. I did not see that .... well, yeah I kinda did. And what divorced people get along that well? This really is a sideways world! (See... see what I did there?)

9:46: Speaking of "seeing what you did there" .... bravo Target. Advertising works, kids.

9:48: I just got choked up because I'm honestly going miss Hurley on TV.

Shannon and Sayid: Goosebumps. Hello, beautiful people. Ridiculously beautiful people.

9:53: Finale definitely not letting me down so far. It's moving along at a good pace. I'm actually starting to get sad it's almost over. Also not letting me down: Twitter trending "Smoke Monster" right under "Craig Sager." If the smoke monster had taken the shape of Craig Sager, this would have been a much different show.

10:00: I never get invited to swank parties to benefit Natural History Museums. I don't think I've ever been to a Natural History Museum period. I don't even know what natural history means! My life sucks.

10:03: What just happened, what just happened, what just happened?! Jack is wrong again?!? What just happened, what just happened, what just happened?! OR IS HE?!

Jacob chose... poorly. And now the island is going to rapidly age and blow into dust!

I just told my coworker Chris, on the West coast, that "things just got gully." I brought that word back from a past life. I shall now beat it into the ground over the next few weeks, kthx.

10:12: I sure hope when the day comes, and I have to deliver a baby, the labor lasts 5 minutes and I push three times. #ThingsImWillingToOverlook. Oh, is this not Twitter?

10:18: Words failing me. They're really bringing it. Halfway through mon freres.

10:23: "Now it's Creed! Now Balboa!" And yes, I got that spear in the side Biblical reference, LOST. You can't put one past ol' Emily, nosireebob. HATED Kate's line, LIKED (didn't LOVE) that she was the one to kill him. Kinda.

10:28: This live blog has really fallen apart, eh? Tonight, a friend of mine used the word "ill-conceived" to describe me. Right... what kind of description is that? One hour left!

10:33: "See me where?" That's what I want to know!! Where are they going? Am I invited? No? I'm not? Why not? What's wrong with the way I dress? You don't have to be that way about it.

10:36: "Tell me I'm going to see you again." Oh, I'll tell you... WITH MY TONGUE.

10:45: "Did we live together in the 70s?" -- Line courtesy of my husband.

10:48: LOST: Making finale clip shows WORK.

10:57: They're really packing a punch emotionally, eh? "I'll see you in another life, brutha!" Whammo! The rest of this blog is just going to be me making sound effects.

11:05: You know, I don't know what the light is but I don't really care. This show is just so yummy.

10:12: Michael Emerson, one of the best actors on TV, period. Hope he lands somewhere. AND WHERE ARE THEY GOING?

10:15: 15 minutes and LOST is DONE. Sad face.

11:18: Is this like Cocoon? Where they gather up the old people about leaving and they all turn into glowing orbs and float into the sky? Is that Cocoon? That seems wrong. Hell if I know.

11:26: Tears, tears!

11:27: Hate to interrupt the tears, but seems pretty glaring they left out Walt and Michael from this little shindig!

11:30: Speechless. Give me time to digest.

OK, I did. Best finale ever.

Breathe out, so I can breathe you in

2010-05-19T21:17:00.004-04:00

Oh GOSH do you know it's going to be an excellent blog post when I quote EVERLONG in the title. It's like the apex (makes tiny triangle over head) of creativity. You're thinking, this girl knows her epically popular 90s songs and this blog post is going to be goooooooood.

Unfortunately, I have nothing to write about.

When I sit down to write a blog post with nothing to say I end up sounding equal parts stoned and equal parts suicidal. (Note: I am neither. OR AM I? I am not.)

(Also, the more parentheticals I use THE BETTER. AM I RIGHT? Note: This also applies to CAPS.)

So what's been up, boyee? Not too much. Not too much. I just opened a bag of Sun Chips and the bag made such a loud noise Jeff immediately said, "You're gonna need a plate."

It's that kind of up to date information on my life you've been missing.

Possible topics for this post were pitched as:

1. The Rape Condom

2. The Human Centipede.

3. [Redacted]

4. Camel Spiders

5. My singing abilities

6. Bras or Pants -- which sucks more to wear?

I don't think I should touch the first two (LITERALLY! Hey-o!) because this is a family blog. Also: Don't google camel spiders. They will haunt your dreams and then actually eat out your brains through your eyeballs in your sleep. Or so I've been told.

My singing abilities were "shown off" last Wednesday night in a dive country western bar in downtown Bristol, CT the other night. Don't worry, I'll text you the address. My coworkers (hi Chris!) and I had all gathered for our annual gathering for gathering's sake, and this bar was just one short gravely walk across the parking lot from our hotel. Naturally, we ended up living there for three days. Note: When you walk in somewhere and it has a mechanical bull you know you're in for a good time even though no one in your party will have the guts to ride it any look like a fool.

Fortunately, there was plenty of time to look like a fool as Wednesday's are karaoke. Karaoke was being run by a guy who looked like Mario Batali's fatter, less successful and more musical little brother. He had a long red ponytail and apparently a very fruitful career which had let him to our little corner of the world on that night.

Not a lot of people in our group were really gutsy (is gutsy the right word?) enough for karaoke, but we finally goaded one of the writers up to the stage where he then blew our minds with a particularly straight faced and unforgettable performance of Gin & Juice, complete with a few loud "Biatch!"'s at the end. Well done, sir.

My buddy Tim was up next, singing "Radar Love" -- a song which I have never heard before in my life, but sounded brilliant. Tim then suggested he and I sing a song.

Now, I'm not shy. I'm not adverse to making a fool of myself in public, speaking my mind, doing the robot, drinking too much and revealing embarrassing details about myself, etc. This is why people always have the utmost respect for me. But I can't sing. So I don't usually karaoke.

But Tim was goading me, and wanting to be a good sport, I obliged. The exchange went something like this.

Tim: "Let's sing Barenaked Ladies 'If I Had a Million Dollars.' Everyone will love it and be singing along with us at the end."

Me: Dopey smile and complete trust in this statement.

Cue us on stage. Song starts. Awwww... damn. I really don't know this song that well at all.

***Crickets***

There is video of this somewhere, but I could only watch the first 20 seconds before I wanted to die of shame. And thus ends my karaoke career. (But who are WE kidding!)

By the end of the three days I realized I have pretty much the coolest coworkers on the planet which makes my job so easy and great. I'm so damn lucky, you know that? I don't think there's many girls on this planet who have surrounded themselves with such amazing and funny and good (I broke out the thesaurus there!) people as I have. And by surrounded, I mean virtually. I see them once a year. They don't know how little I shower and that's probably a good thing.

I'll wrap this up by saying, it's a close debate but ultimately: Pants.

-- Drops mic --

It's da Oscahs!

2010-03-07T15:10:00.004-05:00

Throwing my hat in for meaningless Oscar blogs.

I only do the major categories: Best Movie, Best Actor/Actress, Supporting Actor/Actress because it's my blog and I'll pull it right over if you don't SHUT YOUR MOUTH. Besides, what do I know about directing, or screenplays, or art design? Nuthin.

We'll start with movies.

So OMG, did you hear?! TEN movies were nominated for Best Picture. And I saw nine of them, which is pretty good but essentially frustrating. I so do enjoy a good 100%.

We'll rank them in order I liked them.

It's tough, because I really did mostly enjoy all of them ...

1. District 9 -- I didn't want to see this movie. I thought it would suck. It most definitely did not suck. I really, really, really enjoyed it and Sharlto Copley rocked my world. I had to look up his name, but he had the best performance of the year (more on that later.) Obviously not going to win, but it makes no matter to me ... Best movie of the year.

2. Precious -- I watched this movie with one of the worst audiences I've ever shared a movie space with. But the emotion of this movie cut through the jerkoffs in the theater. The praise for Mariah Carey is a little overrated, but the other acting performances in this movie are extremely moving.

3. Up in the Air -- I think I wrote enough about this one.

4. UP -- Yeah it's a cartoon. So what. It's original ... for a cartoon.

5. Inglorious Basterds -- My favorite Tarantino movie. Acting in this also top-notch.

6. The Hurt Locker -- I know, sixth!?! Like I said, I enjoyed all these movies, I really did. I think seeing the Hurt Locker on the home TV instead of the movie theater hurt my perception. It was very suspenseful, but the ending felt ever so slightly off for me, and the plot slightly predictable.

7. The Blind Side -- Speaking of predictable... (Still a very solid sports movie.)

8. Avatar -- Speaking of predictable... (Still a very solid sci-fi movie.)

9. A Serious Man -- Well, first of all. I spent the first 45 minutes thinking Colin Firth was supposed to show up. Second of all, I've come to the conclusion I just don't enjoy Coen Brothers movies at all. This wasn't the worst of them (Intolerable Cruelty). I felt like this was trying to be a Tarantino movie, but with Jews. And not butt-kickin' ones.

10. An Education -- N/A. Didn't see it.

----------------------

Best Actor

Well..... I didn't see Crazy Heart, Invictus or, turns out, A Single Man. The other two nominees were good, but didn't blow me away. Why wasn't Copley (I had to look it up again) nominated for District 9??!?! My blogging buddy Jessica tells me it's because the Academy doesn't like to nominate first-time actors, but then why I ask you, why were some of these others nominees nominated?! I have no doubt she has a much smarter and well thought out answer for that than I do. But she's away so I get to pound my fists!

When in doubt, go with Ebert: "Bridges' great performance swept the critics' awards, won a Golden Globe, a SAG award and now looks like the winner. Jeremy Renner or George Clooney could win, but Bridges has the momentum."

----------------------

Best Actress

I hit three of the five here. Just because Meryl Streep is good in everything doesn't mean she should get nominated every time. I feel like they threw Blind Side into Best Picture just to make it fathomable to nominate Sandra Bullock. I mean, she was good. But ... you know. It was a slightly above average sports film.

Gabby Sidibe was brilliant in Precious. And, while I know this has absolutely nothing to do with the Oscars, has turned out to be one of the most likable females in Hollywood in ages. I really, really hope she wins.

----------------

Best Supporting Actor

Errr... yeah. I only saw Christoph Waltz and from what I hear, that's all that matters. He was super duper crazy good in Iglorious Basterds and I can't wait to see him in more stuff.

---------------

Best Supporting Actress

Monique wasn't a character in Precious. She was a person. She was a real person and I believed every ounce of that performance. Blown. Away. Game. Set. Match.

Heading to the gym and then red carpet and then Oscars! (I won't actually be there, but you know.)

You mapped a route with all right turns

2010-02-20T19:11:00.003-05:00

Look at that chest of drawers. It's mocking me.

It's saying, no, I will not keep my drawers on track. Are you nuts? Every single one of them will go crooked until you can't budge them at all -- to open or close. And yes, it makes me laugh at you. Sucka!

I've hated few things like I hate this chest of drawers. I want to light it on fire every time I see it. I want to take it out back like the guys in "Office Space" took care of that fax machine.

I'm 26 years old and my house is tribute to second hand furniture. Few things we own are originals, much of it got damaged in some way on our move to and from San Diego, and almost everything else is discount. We had the bright idea to save this chest of drawers from the dregs of Jeff's parent's basement, but now I know why it was down there. It is the devil.

Jeff and I are starting the very early process of looking into home buying. We're not quite sure how the five double-yous will work, but it's on the horizon. I'm looking at buying a home as the single greatest fresh start we can have. It will most likely be in a different place. And I want to chuck all our furniture in one large death to disco blaze.

Jeff is more prudent. "The couches can go in the basement!" The basement. Where good furniture goes to die. What's the point? The walls are closing in and we're a few more crappy pieces of furniture, a few more framed newspaper fronts, 20 records (records!) and about four more books away from being on an episode of Hoarders.

A sample of what we're holding onto: A few months ago I went through all the stuff an ex-boyfriend gave me. Some people have no problem chucking that stuff out, and I wasn't keeping it for sentimental value. I just feel like when someone gives you something with feeling, you should hang onto it. I suppose that is sentimental value, but I don't miss it. What was I going to do with it anyway?

But the things in our tiny, rented house are like a museum of our late teens, early-20s. I wonder sometimes if because Jeff and I met when we were 19 that we're doomed to sort of always be 19-year-olds to each other.

The first step was to break away from our parents. I was pretty independent early on. I don't deserve a special award for this, but I've paid my own bills for years and years now. I'm surprised with how many people my age don't.

And I think the final step to growing up is to chuck the hand-me-down furniture, the old cards, the broken picture frames, the clothes that don't fit and never ever will (I have a pair of jeans my mom gave me more than 5 years ago I'm still holding out hope for), the goddamn Yankee throw blanket that Jeff actually once used as a wall decoration (I wish I was joking), and everything else that's weighing us down.

The first thing to do is get rid of this stupid, cursed set of drawers. It might be suggested I donate it to charity, but honestly, this bureau is like the video in The Ring, and I don't want someone else to have to find themselves cursing at an inanimate object.

But seriously, does anyone have any kerosene? I promise it will be a controlled fire and in no way will I be laughing maniacally...

Til the End of Time

2010-02-04T22:51:00.004-05:00

O-M-F-G, who does NOT want another LOST recap? Come on, raise your hands?!

Put your hands down losers, I can't flippin' see you.

I went down to Rhode Island Tuesday night to my boy (can girls say that? Survey says: yes) Justin's house to watch LOST with my other boy, Drew. It's been a while since my boys (see: death, horse beating) and I got together, just the three of us. Don't get me wrong, I love my husband. I know, weird right? but worth repeating. And I love Drew's girl (not as much as my husband, but I think she understands). But it was nice having it be just the three of us. Same sense of humor, same reference points, general comfortability and relaxationilization. (And if Justin is reading this, he's rolling his eyes, and if Drew is reading it, he's smirking and thinking of something smart to say -- thanks for reading guys!)

Anyways we were all fist-pumpingly excited for the LOST premiere. We settled into Justin's abnormally clean apartment. I had a sandwich, Andrew had a four pound bag of cookies. For the first time in a while, I hadn't spoiled myself for the season premiere. Honestly, I didn't have the TIME. So I was going into this cold turkey.

After watching Juliette's "fall" three times in about 10 minutes, we were finally ready to start. Eye opens, Kate's in a tree, we're ready to go.

I'm not going to synopsize the whole episode, we'll break it down bullet-style.

Things I liked:

The nice little interaction between Jack and Locke in the lost luggage room. Old school Locke. Can't we all just get along? Turns out we can!

Hmmm... that was pretty much it.

Things I didn't like:

The death of Juliette was epically cheesy. Nevermind she survived the fall -- fine. And then lived to hang out for a while after the bomb exploded. But then to die in such an epically cheesy way. (Quote of the night to Andrew: "Didn't she know she was going to die when she started that sentence? Maybe she should have skipped the first part.") It reminded me a little of the all-time lamest death I've ever seen on screen -- Trinity's death in the third Matrix movie. She spent about 25 minutes punctured by about half a dozen steel rods. If I had been the kind of person who does things like that, I would have yelled at the movie screen Elaine-style, "Just DIE already!!" Anyways, Juliette's death reminded me of that.
The temple people. Every LOST fan on planet earth was saying, "Nooooo! No more new characters PLEASE!" And then to have it be sooo corny. Oh, of COURSE the guy in charge is an Asian guy with a fu-manchu who hates Americans and has -- wait for it -- kick-ass karate skills! And he likes prune plants. And wear leather vests. I'm not sure the last one is an Asian stereotype but regardless, it was cornball.

Those were my two biggest beefs. I don't like it when LOST goes cheesy.

At every commercial break Justin would express his disappointment. ("9:43 and I'm not impressed.... 10:27 and I think there will be bad reviews tomorrow!) Andrew and I fought him until the end when I think we kind of agreed with his assessment.

Theories:

I have none. I think this work week was too busy for me to properly process this episode. They've established these are parallel universes and these are flash-sideways but the fact of the matter is I just wanted them to PICK ONE. And if they weren't going to pick one, I wanted to see what would happen if the plane never crashed -- and we didn't even see that. There was something off about the present day non-crash scenario.

Sigh.

Of course I haven't given up. But this episode didn't knock me out of the park. The season premiere's of LOST usually don't though -- it's the finales where they blow me away. I give this episode of a 4 out of 10.

We can do better.

And just like that...

2010-01-29T23:35:00.003-05:00

If you didn't trust my word that I didn't see this until roughly an hour after I wrote my last post, you'd think I'd ripped it off. Maybe you still will. But this piece, written by Mark Mofard, SF Gate columnist fits my mood. Even love the headline, "Why are you so terribly disappointing?"

Best quote is as follows.

But we don't stop there. Not only are we disappointed, we need to express it. Vent it. Hiss it and spit it and hurl it like fistfuls of mental manure at the great wall of hey, screw you.

You have but to take a peek in the comments section below this column, any column, any article on this or any news site whatsoever, to see just how mean and nasty we have become. It does not matter what the piece might be about. Obama's speech. High speed rail. Popular dog breeds. Your grandmother's cookies. The anonymous comments section of any major media site or popular blog will be so crammed with bile and bickering, accusation and pule, hatred and sneer you can't help but feel violently disappointed by the shocking lack of basic human kindness and respect, much less a sense of positivism or perspective.

As someone who edits stories for a major news website, I'm consistently disgusted by the comments (nay, judgments) people leave on other's writing, anonymously. Hey, yeah, it's the business, but hey, yeah, it's not life or death. I manage some "talent" facebook pages, run live chats, and you wouldn't believe how vile and cruel some people are. I find myself wanting to jump in and tell people to knock it off, and sometimes I do, but I don't want to feed into it.

Pfft... this internet... anyone can just say anything they want! Any yahoo with a user name and password or a blog... hey wait a second...

And things will be just fine

2010-01-29T22:28:00.004-05:00

Are you a selfish person?

That sounds like the lead line to an ad. Or maybe a sermon. Let me try again.

Are YOU a selfish person?

Wait, that wasn't any better. This is why I'm not in advertising or religion.

That thought came into my head tonight while I was switching clothes over from the washer to the dryer. Heady thoughts come frequently in mundane moments for me.

I don't mean selfish in a typical way. As in, if you have something I want, I want it or I'll cry and stomp and pout. That's not selfish (well, maybe it is), that's immature.

No one really likes to consider themselves selfish. Everyone would gladly put themselves under the heading, "I'd do anything for anyone at anytime" and think they'd help someone in need if they could. Heck, Jeff asked me a few weeks ago if we wanted to donate money to the Red Cross. The exchange went something like this.

Jeff: "Do you want to donate some money to the Red Cross for Haiti? Minimum donation is $10."

Me: "Let's do $25."

(Sits back with a smug, satisfied look on her face.)

Of course $25 is nothing, and I could probably do more (sans the probably part). But that's not even the selfishness I'm referring to. I mean the kind of selfishness that comes with getting constantly lost in your own thoughts, worrying just about your life and no one else's, wanting your cake and eating it too, changing your mind every five seconds, being recklessly independent and emotionally needy, wanting people to know what you're thinking without telling them, waking up every morning and just thinking about yourself.

You should, in theory, lose a little of that selfishness as you age, and certainly when you get married. What's best for Jeff, what's best for our life together, that needs to be at least the second thought of every day. I'm working towards making it the first. There isn't anyone I want more for in my life than Jeff. Because he chose me to share his world, I want him to have the best of everything. The same applies for my family and friends. You can only want something for someone else so bad, before they need to be selfish and get it for themselves, but you can always be unselfishly supportive and unflappably loyal.

This idea of selfishness/selflessness popped into my head because, naturally, as a 26-year-old just married (six months on Monday) female, I'm a ticking clock ... when are ya gonna have a BAY-BE?! And while the decision when to have kids is personal and not something casual readers of this blog will know about until well AFTER it happens, of course I think about it. Jeff and I talk about it dontcha worry about it.

People "in the know" seem to think that you should only have a baby when you've shed this selfishness. Two years seems to be the acceptable waiting period for people our age, apparently we're supposed to see the world, swim with dolphins, go bungee jumping, eat a sundae of 14K gold or something before we make that decision to start trying.

And I wondered today if I've shed that selfishness yet, or it only comes with having a child. I do know it will come, I know that.

I'm beginning to think I'll welcome it with open arms. Thinking only about yourself can be exhausting.

Says the girl who writes a self-serving, painfully tiring online blog ...

And many times I've listened

2010-01-28T12:23:00.006-05:00

Jeff and I got a brand-new flat screen television on Black Friday.

This came after (literally) years of begging from Jeff. We've lived together for almost four years and have never bought a new TV. Our old TVs had been lugged from New York > Boston > San Diego (and two apartments there) > New York > Massachusetts (and two apartments there.) They were worse for the wear. One hummed really loudly if you turned the volume up too high. The other had a giant scratch on it from our trip across country and a precariously-placed bedframe (which also left a nasty gash in my dashboard.)

They were also small (insert size matters joke here). For people who watch as much TV and sports as we do, it was almost silly how crappy our TVs were. But we always seemed to have wiser places to spend our money, and that didn't change, but the time seemed right. We scouted Black Friday deals and found a great one which basically amounted to about $500 off. Jeff got in line at 2:15 a.m. They offered only two in store under this deal, and Jeff got it. Success!

Anyways, TV watching has been significantly better these days.

The only thing is... I'm actually watching less of it now. Jeff can't believe when he comes home after work, flips it on, and sees that it's on the same channel it was the night before.

"Did you really not watch any TV today?"

I think everyone who reads this blog knows I work from home. For the past 18 months I've watched a variety of daytime TV, which as you all know, sucks hard core. I've watched Maury, I've watched hours and hours of women giving birth, I've watched more Jon + Kate and 18 Kids and Counting than I'd like to admit. I wish I'd watched more Oprah, but I always forget that it's on. Oh, and roughly 1.673 million hours of SportsCenter.

Just somewhere along the line I got sick of it. I got back into music. You'll be surprised, or bored, to learn that this long lead-in was about me listening to music again.

My relationship with music in my life has never been clearly defined. I didn't own a CD until ninth grade. Before then my music tastes included, by default and time-period, some greats: Madonna, Michael Jackson, Whitney Houston... the Grease soundtrack? Oh, and Queen's Greatest Hits. (My family also used to listen to Monty Python skits on tape as well, so that earns me some cred, right?)

My first CD I bought was Sublime/Sublime. We used to play it on band trips (I was in marching band, yes. And I did go to band camp! Is that joke not old yet?? And how about that Sanjaya?) While I'll still defend that CD as I know every word and still would list Sublime amongst my favorite bands of all time, I can't much defend the CDs I owned immediately after that: Limp Bizkit, Eminem, and of course, N*Sync. (I owned two of this Justin Timberlake poster. Ohhh yeahhh...)

Then junior year of high school, I had a boyfriend who was into classic rock. Where would I have been if we hadn't dated? I shudder to think. Anyways he got me into the Beatles, and Led Zeppelin, and loads of other great bands. I started listening to a lot of John Lennon and Tom Petty.

Now I was never a music snob, and I loathe music snobs. I don't particularly like Dylan. I didn't start liking the Rolling Stones until recently. I stopped listening to the radio ages ago (May 2006 and still counting...) so I have no idea who's "cool" now. I know that Ting Tings "That's not my name" song came out a while ago, but it's all I can listen to now. If ever a song makes you want to shake your head side to side and do a 90s-style skip/kick dance it's that one, am I right?

Anyways, considering that I've pretty much been from the depths of bad music, to the height of good music, and that I've been listening to music 8 hours a day for two months or so now, I thought I'd list 10 of my favorite songs of all time. And I'd LOVE to hear yours in the comments. Top singles. Desert Island songs. Here's my crack, in no particular order.

* Everlong, The Foo Fighters: Right now this is listed as my most played song in iTunes, with 30 listens. This song belongs in that same category as the Ting Tings song and what it makes me want to do when I hear it. Also: amazing lyrics. This isn't exactly an original pick, I know lots of people love this song as well.

* Over the Hills and Far Away, Led Zeppelin: I think I feel safe saying the opening bars to this song are the best opening instrumentals of any song ever. Yeah, that's right. When this song starts, I immediately feel happier. It's very soothing at the start, and then just transforms from there. Like a story. How's that analogy!? I'm a writer, yo.

* For No One, The Beatles: This is probably my favorite Beatles song of all time. Do I need to say more? (Let It Be/Happiness is a Warm Gun (surprise) also up there. OK, I guess I did need to say more.)

* The Wind Cries Mary, Jimi Hendrix: My desert island songs are pretty mellow. I wouldn't even say I'm a true or huge JH fan. But I do love this song.

* A Dustland Fairytale, The Killers: I guess I find myself picking one song per favorite artist here, and even though this is off their recent (and not best album) this is my favorite Killers song of all time (* for now).

* Hallelujah, Rufus Wainwright: I know, this song is way played out. But I don't want to hear about your "original" or "better" versions. This is the only version for me.

* Angel Dream No. 2, Tom Petty: You probably haven't heard this one. You probably should.

* Sweetest Thing, U2: OK this is a new addition to the list. I'm not sure I feel comfortable having it here. I reserve the right to ditch it.

* I Just Don't Think I'll Ever Get Over You, Colin Hay: Ditto previous song.

* Only You, Yaz: Well, come on, my wedding song had to be on here right? First song Jeff ever said made him think of me.

Honorable Mentions: Wise Up, Aimee Mann; All My Days, Alexi Murdoch; Stay Together for the Kids, Blink-182; Born to Run, Bruce Springsteen; Round Here, Counting Crows; Lost Cause, Beck; Save the Last Dance for Me, the Drifters; Bad Rabbits and Some People Live Between Holidays, Gavin Castleton; Just a Thought, Gnarls Barkley; Patience, Guns N Roses; Lots of Killers songs; Going to California and What is and What Should Never Be, Led Zeppelin; Will You Be There, Michael Jackson; Hey Ya! Outkast; 3 Libras, A Perfect Circle; Ruby Tuesday, Rolling Stones; Lots of Tom Petty songs (Crawling Back to You); Lots of Queen songs; Into the Mystic, Van Morrison; Say It Ain't So, Weezer; Suite Judy Blue Eyes: Crosby, Stills and Nash; The Scientist, Coldplay...

... and tons more I'm sure I'm forgetting. I definitely do, and probably always will, skew classic rock. What about you, what songs am I missing from this list? I'd love to hear them!! New and old commenters alike!

Last night ramble: a retrospective

2010-01-23T12:19:00.002-05:00

Fellow bloggers/writers, do you ever start to write something and quit right in the middle of it? Move on, like it never happened? Give it a 'Nah' this doesn't work and click the red X?

I probably should have done that last night.

Usually when I write, if it doesn't flow naturally, if I have to go back and re-read it a lot or if it's a struggle to find out where I go next, it's going to stink.

I remember the first time I really wrote something that gushed out of me naturally. It was a column for my college newspaper about Will McDonough. And in fail of fails, it doesn't seem to exist online anymore and I'm pretty sure I don't have a copy anywhere -- this bums me out big time. Perhaps my mom saved it somewhere, I know she really liked it.

I wrote the 600 or so words in about 15 minutes. And while I'm normally a fast writer, that would be deemed as exceptionally fast for me. (Fastest ever? A 13-page college paper in 2 hours. Booyah!) I was sent out on close deadline assignments when I lived in San Diego because I was the fastest writer. As in, a basketball game that started at 7 and needed to be filed by 8:30. In most cases, that was good enough to get you to the end of the game. In some cases, it was good enough to get you to the end of the game with 5 minutes to spare. It was nerve-wracking, but also a challenge, and I'm one of those 'works well under pressure' people.

Last night I was trying to get my thoughts out in front of a blaring TV. Never a good idea. I'd go back and rewrite it, or take it down, but nobody will read through it anyway. It will serve as a reminder of that time I tried to say something meaningful and I failed miserably.

My google reader tells me I have 20 people that subscribe to this blog... 20! Who ARE you people? I'm dying to know. You don't even have to leave your names, just say 'I'm someone you went to high school with' or 'I'm someone you work with' or 'I'm watching you through your window right now.'

This whole "getting back into writing" thing proves I'm rustier than I thought. I promise you something well thought-out next time, faithful readers.

At the movies with Emily and Jeff: Up in the Air/Random thoughts in my head (bonus headline characters edition!!)

2010-01-23T00:21:00.006-05:00

(Warning: I'm feeling like I'm about to ramble. Nobody wants to read a blog post by me that's more than 50 wor-- right there, most people will have stopped right there. Given it a scroll down, said, 'No thanks' and moved right back to googling porn. Thanks for stopping by, feel free to leave a comment!)

Jeff and I had an Avatar vs. Up in the Air standoff that started right around the new year. We stood our ground, crossed our arms and pouted over which we'd see first. I'll give you a guess on which sides of the fence we were on in the battle of the geeky, CGI-laden 3D action movie and the film starring the wrinkles around George Clooney's eyes.

We saw Avatar first. Here's my review of Avatar. (Ahem)

At the movies with Emily and Jeff: Avatar

Eh.

Moving on to 'Up in the Air.' Some movies you go to and are pleasantly surprised you like them. District 9 was one for me. Some you go expecting to like and you hate, and some you know you'll enjoy and you do. That's called $21 well spent. ($26 if you buy the coke so large you need two hands to hold it.)

'Up in the Air' added a bonus category for me: movie that feels very apropos of the mood you're in at the moment.

Mini-non-spoilerish synopsis for those who know nothing about the movie: George Clooney plays a single guy who travels around the country firing people. He's happy with his single life and he meets a counterpart in Alex (played by Vera Farmiga looking older than she does in real life). They make each other happy in the periodic spurts in which they exist. Then there's Anna Kendrick's 23-year-old plucky just out of college chick who thinks she knows what she wants and has a perfect vision of life that comes crashing down when she hits the how-they-say real world.

I felt like I could relate to every character in the movie and it had some really great lines, a la Juno.

I've never had a clear idea of what exactly what I want to do with my life ('I don't know what kind of girl I am') or where I want to be or who I want to be. All I know is that I've never wanted to settle or stand still for too long, yet I want to hold the people closest to me as near as possible and never lose them. It's not about being unhappy with what you have, it's about thinking of ways you could be happier. Checking things off the list and moving things from the bad pile to to the good one.

I'll probably drive myself crazy-miserable living that way. So every day I have to tell myself how lucky I am, how I have a husband, friends and job I love. The issues is holding onto the things you love through your shifting life.

I'm stuck in an amalgam of a quarter-life crisis along with seasonal affective disorder with a dash of restlessness. Jeff can attest to this, and he's given me nightly pep talks trying to support me in my decision to do... whatever it is I want to decide to do in the next 15 minutes before I give up, make a joke and fall asleep.

Kendrick's 23-year-old character in 'Up in the Air' reminds me of how I felt coming out of college. I wanted to be a hot shot, but I also wanted to work for what I got, and I moved very quickly to where I am now. (Fortunately, I don't have a job that makes people want to kill themselves!) I alternate between wanting more, immediately, and being perfectly content. The latter I can attribute to the fact that I really enjoy working with the people I do -- the former I attribute to my ambition.

(I told you I was going to ramble).

More rambling: Clooney's character in the movie plays a knowing, slightly-condescending counterpart to Kendrick. My experience in life, and I said this to a group of women I went out with last night, is that no one thinks they're immature for their age. Everyone thinks they're wise beyond their years. That allows us to judge other people. It's a wonderful cycle. I always say to myself how if I could go back and slap 14 year old Emily in the face, I probably would (It probably wouldn't hurt though, I have weak arms). But 14-year-old Emily wouldn't care what I had to say, she'd be more worried about the life or death matter concerning that cute boy with the bowl haircut and nice smile.

I find myself saying aloud lately, "What do I know?" So if I don't know shit as a 26 year old, does that mean I should be listening more to 38-year olds and the wisdom they have to offer?Or as shown in the movie, do you really never learn how to live life, but only to regret the things you did when you were younger and wish you could go back and live life again with the wisdom you have now? Does anyone know anything of value? Is this couch I'm sitting on even real? WELL IS IT?

Sigh. Maybe we should get back to the movie.

I really liked it. Here's a quote that stuck with me:

*****

Ryan Bingham: I thought I was a part of your life.

Alex Goran: I thought we signed up for the same thing... I thought our relationship was perfectly clear. You are an escape. You're a break from our normal lives. You're a parenthesis.

Ryan Bingham: I'm a parenthesis?

****

Brilliant. And my attempt to tie this all together ...

... I think you can want a lot in your life and you can imagine all the ways your life could be better, that you could be happier. But, those dreams are always going to be half-reality, half-fantasy. I could be an NFL writer, which is a theoretical dream, but I know there are many, many downsides to that lifestyle (and also, a similar on the road lifestyle as in the movie).

But having parenthesis are nice as long as you don't expect them to exist perfectly in reality, because they will never as be the vision that you hope. But they can be great. They can be your dreams. They can be comfort. They can be support. They get you through the day and make you smile. They get you up the next morning and be the first thing in your head. In fact, there's a great song about being someone else's parenthesis.

They're just hard to fit in your life. Your actual life.

This could be the worst thing I've ever written. It sounded nice in my head though as I pieced it together on the ride home.

38-year-old Emily could totally write better than this.

(If you made it to the end of this, leave a comment will ya. Even if it's to encourage me not to blog at 1 a.m.)

You can only do the best with what's given

2010-01-21T13:15:00.004-05:00

Has it really been over two months since I've blogged about anything? I don't know who I expect to answer that rhetorical question. It's not a hard question to answer. Last I posted was Nov. 18... that was two months ago.

So the answer, Emily, is yes, it's been over two months since you've blogged. And how about them Jets?

If anything's become abundantly clear in the last two months it's that I miss writing. Very much so. Even if it's writing about nothing, which is basically what I do here.

It appears I missed the cut-off for any end of the year lists, but my bests and worsts are as follows.

BESTS: District 9, Inglorious Basterds, Precious, I Love You, Man, my wedding make-up, The Killers in concert, True Blood, Friday Night Lights, The Lost season 5 finale, Gordon Ramsay's in London, that night in NYC, that day I got married, Away We Go, that week I spent out of the country, rediscovering Led Zeppelin, Seinfeld on Curb Your Enthusiasm, my friends, Wes Welker, my rehearsal dinner, when I switched from 'toasted almond' back to 'french vanilla,' You can find me at Ted's, The Hangover, my iPhone, my success in introducing live chat software at my job, hanging out more with the people I work with in person, that one The Invention of Lying joke that made me laugh so hard I cried, becoming a little more feminist, Les Miserables in London, losing 20 pounds, Rhoos, my google reader, mimosas, paying off our credit cards, my new haircut, my Coach bag, Jeff's Christmas mix, my syndicated blog post, my first pedicure, Jeff's wedding vows, UP, Mad Men, Naveen Andrews.

WORSTS: That time I almost considered renting 'Twilight,' our flight to London, people asking me how married life is, New Year's Eve, Fenway when it's cold and raining, gaining 10 pounds back, Facebook morons, the two and a half hours of my life I've spent crying at 'UP', my free time, the fall of the Boston Globe, going for it on fourth and 2 from your own red zone, the National Guard ad they run before movies, the rental car place not having the car you reserved, Wii Fit, Pineapple Express, Righteous Kill, Step Brothers, not getting to eat at the wedding, Watchmen, blog posts that are overly 'linky.'

More good than bad. That's all one can hope for in life right?

Er, that's not the greatest mantra is it? I have high hopes for 2010.

Step 1: Write more.

An open letter

2009-11-18T21:34:00.002-05:00

Dear Everyone I Love,

I know I haven't been around much lately. And it's not because you smell (you do.)

It's just, it's football season, and if you didn't learn last year, that means I sort of drop of the face of the planet until February.

I know some of you are bristling. I don't call you enough. I ignore your attempts for contact. When you speak to me, I stare right through your face like I am listening, but I am most definitely not. And that's just my husband.

My hands are permanently attached to my keyboard and my computer has grafted itself to my lap. Even when I'm not working I find hard to get up from this machine. I try to catch up on my google reader, which calls to me with its numbers, guilting me for ignoring it, a failure of consequence. I die a little every time I "mark all as read."

I got out to NYC a few weeks ago, which you read about below. That was nice. I'm not sure I've seen the sun since, and considering this vampire stuff is hot right now, it probably just appears that I'm going for the trendy pasty white look.

I'm not unhappy. Quite the opposite. I love a challenge.

But I've failed you all. I think about you every day, about how I should call you, but I don't want to bore you with my one-note life. Please don't take it personally.

I miss you. And I'll see you on February 8th.

Love, Emily

If I can make it there, I'll make it...

2009-11-13T16:41:00.003-05:00

I'm a week late in blogging, per usual, but I did have to say I thoroughly enjoyed my trip to NYC last week.

We got to the city (we drove in) around 11:30 in relative ease, and our parking garage was reasonably priced (for NYC) and we headed over to drop off our bags at our hotel and explore the city!

First of all, I'm not sure how people survived before smart phones because my iPhone was so helpful in helping us small town folk manuever the city. Urban Spoon led us to an adorable little well priced restaurant which of course I can't remember the name of. Jeff had some mini sliders and I had a brie and apple sangwich which was yummy. Our plan was then to walk to Central Park, but my head strong husband insisted that he was going the right way until we found ourselves on 25th street, most definitely heading in the wrong direction. So, of course, I was miserable, itchy leg had started, and we were facing a roughly 40 block walk to Central Park.

In an attempt to salvage the afternoon, Jeff suggested we take a bus, which was fine, and we wandered around Central Park, a place I'd never been despite numerous trips to the city. We attempted to find the "Imagine" circle, but had no luck. Finally, we decided to cab it back to the hotel and get ready for our big night out!

Our hotel, ACE on Broadway was a rec from my blogging buddy Jessica, who's friend Sean worked there and hooked us up with a deal. Well, I should say, I thought it was a deal from the get-go but when we got there, were told we were upgraded and actually saw our room we were BLOWN AWAY. Ch-check it out.

These pictures don't really accurately show how HUGE our room was as it had a separate bed/sitting/dining area and was probably close to 400 sq. feet. Everything was brand new and hipster and we felt a little bit swankier just by being there.

We didn't have a lot of time to drool over the room as we were meeting Jessica and her husband Jesse, as well as Zach of groomsman fame, over at Otto on 5th Ave. We decided to walk down there, which was fun, and when we got there the JMJs were already there. We said our hellos and my name is-es, and Zach arrived shortly later. Dinner was OK, but the wine came in a big glass and the conversation was great and I left the restaurant thinking, "Boy, I sure am in a good mood." You know what I mean?

Zach kindly drove us to Carnegie Hall where we saw.... Ricky Gervais!!! The dude who opened up for him was actually really funny, and Ricky's schtick was hilarious as usual. He closed the performance by singing "New York, New York" with... Elmo. Truly a once-in-a-lifetime experience!! But that was not all...

Zach then picked us UP from Carnegie Hall, after Jeff and I got a quick dessert, to drive us to meet his lady friend Meg and his cousin and his wife (I should say while we were crossing the street to meet Zach we saw Dr. Drew. I always think a trip to NYC is never complete without seeing a minor celebrity). We then headed down to a bar on 4th street, where his cousin kindly bought us drinks and we had great convo and laughed ALOT, the hallmark to any memorable night.

Miraculously, I didn't get sick despite the copious amounts of rum and coke, so all and all -- it was one of the best nights I've had since we got married. Reminds me how much I love hanging out with my husband (we don't share any days off during football season), how much I love city life, how much I love hanging out with friends, how much I love food, drinking and laughing and how I deserve to treat myself once in a while.

I hope to do it again. Real soon, real soon.

Time capsule: Travel

2009-11-03T21:29:00.003-05:00

Sometime in May 2005, I sat hunched over a small garbage bin in the sports department of the Boston Globe. I was dry heaving, gagging. The next day I was getting on a flight to California. I was so insanely nervous about the flight that I was making myself sick.

Taking it back a few weeks, I learned that I'd been accepted into a short conference in California run by the Los Angeles Times, in honor of Jim Murray, where about 25 college students across the country would gather to talk about sports journalism. Acceptance meant everything fully paid except the flight. It was an amazing opportunity I would have been insane to turn down.

But the flight. I hadn't flown since 2000, a band trip to Florida. I don't remember being nervous about that flight -- at least not in the same way I was nervous about this one. I'm not sure what changed in those five years, I'm sure September 11 had something to do with it, but it would be a cop-out to blame it all on that.

I couldn't sleep the night before the 6 a.m. flight, which I was thankfully taking with my best friend Katie. And of course, I made it there fine. I even flew back home solo, and a little kid fell asleep on my arm.

When I was in L.A. I met a girl who would later be a coworker, I was insulted by T.J. Simers, I toured Venice Beach and Hollywood and I learned that dropping Murray's name in conversation would be wildly valuable in future employment situations.

A month after I got back from LA, I flew to the Florida Keys with two of my girlfriends to visit our friend Florida. We had a great time. I saw Miami, Ft. Lauderdale, Key Largo and Key West. While I was in Florida I realized that Jeff guy I had been on and off with was better suited to be on, and from the moment he picked me up from the airport we were never apart again.

In March 2006, Jeff and I flew to San Diego to decide if we wanted to live there. He held my hand on the flight and I told him I loved him for the first time. It was a great trip. We went to Sea World, to Mission Beach and we were in the audience for Jimmy Kimmel Live. It was our first vacation together and at the end of it, we had already found an apartment in San Diego.

In December 2007, Jeff and I flew down to South Carolina to see my mom's newly built house and be with family for Christmas. I don't think I've mentioned it here, but my mother has an amazing house she built with my aunt. It's her dream home, and mine too. It was the first Christmas Jeff and I spent together, and we had lots of family members there. We took a carriage ride of Charleston, made mudslides and enjoyed my aunt and mom's amazing cooking.

I took a break from flying for a while before our honeymoon in July. The anxiety came back, which didn't help compounded with the stress of a wedding. I went to the doctor and they prescribed me Lorazapem. That, the excitement of the trip and the pure happiness I felt got me through the flights. I don't need to recap what happened on my honeymoon in London and Scotland, I've written about it before, but it was probably eight of the greatest days of my life.

The nut graph here, which I've buried, is that some of the best moments of my life were on the other end of a flight. I'm sad to think that it ever held me back from doing something amazing, and I don't want it ever to again.

This is my first time capsule. I'm 26 and pushing through the temptation of a quarter life crisis. It's the first point in my life where I've had to push through and say, "OK, what do I want?" It's so easy to get in a rut, wake up in 30 years and think "What have I done?" It's a cliche fear. But I'm full of cliches.

So as I look forward into my life, I want my writing to hold me accountable. I have lots of goals. Writing is one of them. There are more that I'll put here and maybe look back in pride or shame someday. The first is travel.

Jeff and I are eying a trip to Italy sometime in 2011. It's our No. 1 travel goal. I want to make this happen. I will make it happen. I'm too young to let things get in the way already.

In the next 10 years I have Italy in mind, then Spain, France, Germany, Greece... Jeff wants to go to Ireland. I'll want to go back to London and Scotland again. We can't do it all in 10 years. We don't have to. But I'll have to get started. I don't want anything to hold me back.

Just because

2009-11-02T12:41:00.003-05:00

I have a blog in mind for later, I swear, but for now I just need to have this on my blog.

Two weeks ago, Mad Men was craaaazy good. Best episode yet. Last night? Eh. I know it's setting up next week's finale, but I was bored. Betty has absolutely no chemistry with that old dude, Duck just makes me want to yack. I liked the JFK subplot, but I hated the romantic storylines. Also, as we can see from the above picture, there HAS to be more Joan. She needs to be back at Sterling-Cooper PLEASE.

Still: Best show on TV.

Blogging my birthday

2009-10-22T14:38:00.005-04:00

Not too much to report around these parts...

... except that I've turned 26 today! This is the first birthday I cringed at a little. 26? 25 sounds so much younger doesn't?

Of course I'm not old, but I'm married now which as someone pointed out on Facebook is like being in my 30s anyway ;)

I keep thinking of this lyric, "You're scared and you're thinking that maybe we ain't that young anymore/Show a little faith there's magic in the night/You ain't a beauty but hey you're alright/That's alright with me."

Just the fact that I'm quoting Bruce Sprinsteen makes me a middle aged man, doesn't it?

Emily's rules to a good birthday

1. There are seven specific people I expect a phone call from on my birthday (not including Jeff): My mom, my dad, my brother, Katie, Meg, Justin and Andrew. 2:41 p.m. and we're batting .000. (Although Katie did hit me up on gchat.)

2. A good meal. Jeff is taking me to the Capital Grille. Need I say more? I looooove it there.

3. A nice card from the husband. Don't cards that start, "Happy Birthday to my wife" just feel so much better? Swoon.

4. A day off. Done.

5. Everything I want and no one gets to argue: Pending.

6. A really fabulous present! I already got a new jacket from my mom when she came to visit last week. I really love it and feel fab in it. Also...

DID I MENTION I GOT AN iPHONE YESTERDAY??

She's so beautiful. We haven't named her yet, but I didn't know true love until I pulled her out of Jeff's back pocket. I've wanted an iPhone since they came into existence, but we had to wait out our Verizon contract and now I have her! She's purple and pink, she's a 3G S, even though I told Jeff he didn't have to get the S.

Seriously, all my old phones pale in comparison. I'm not a materialistic person. I own very few things of real value. So this was very exciting for me!!

Here's our first iPhone pic. I think I've mastered this already!

What's the one thing YOU want for your next birthday?

Turn and face the change

2009-10-13T10:16:00.003-04:00

People ask me all the time, "How is married life?"

It's pretty annoying actually. But that's probably because I hate small talk.

Married life is fine. It's great. It's lovely. It's pretty much exactly the same.

Don't get me wrong, I enjoy calling Jeff my husband. That's a perk. I tried it out for a few months, though, before I actually did get married, to random people I'd never see again, or people over the phone. I used it for the first time in England when Jeff put the parking break on while we were driving. "Miss," I said to a woman standing outside her cul de sac home. "My husband is a moron, can you help us?"

My husband is not a moron, for the record. But things haven't changed that much. Oh, I've put on 10 of the 20 pounds I lost. Jeff and I have made up for months of dieting with a few months of gorging. It's hard to lose weight without a big to-do like a wedding to get your butt in gear. I'm currently accepting applications for motivating events.

I love seeing Jeff with his wedding ring on. When he has it on. He likes to play with it, move it around in his hands, drop it on the floor. Drives me nuts. I say, "You can't lose it if you don't take it off." I suspect we'll learn that lesson the hard way some day.

I suppose the argument for not living with each other before you get married is just for this reason. That nothing changes. Of course, I would never go back and time and take away all Jeff and I experienced in our three years of living together. We've learned a lot about each other.

For instance, Jeff learned that I don't like to clean. I learned that Jeff doesn't like to clean. We learned that our house would probably never ever be clean, unless motivated by someone coming over, or a stench in the kitchen sink.

We learned that it was impossible to share one blanket. His body temperature is much higher than mine, plus I steal the blanket. That's why we have two. Just normal married life.

Perhaps a smooth transition was best. Neither of us like change all that much.

Getting married was just the first step for our many goals. Get married. Get a house. Find jobs we love (I have, he hasn't). See Italy. See Hawaii. See France, Spain, Germany. Maybe along the way have a ... no, mom, not yet.

So nothing's changed. Except that my life has started. Except that I'm officially an adult now. Except that the man I love more than anything agreed to stay with me forever.

Other than that, status quo.

How have the last three months of your life been?

At the Movies with Emily and Jeff: The Invention of Lying

2009-10-03T17:47:00.003-04:00

I love pretty much everything Ricky Gervais does. I pretty much kiss the ground he walks on. Extras, the Office, the podcasts he does -- brilliant. These few hours of TV/radio are probably 50% of the hardest laughs I've ever had in my life. We're also going to see his standup in November at the NYC comedy festival.

So when his first ever movie was coming out -- yeah, I was going to be going to see that opening night. (Thanks Jackie and Andrew for joining us!)

Now, I wasn't that psyched on the trailer. In fact, I thought the trailer looked downright disappointing. But I know that Ricky doesn't always love to go all out on comedy, he can get serious and messagey in his delivery (see: Extras and Office finale) which can be great. So I was kind of hoping that was the deal here.

(Here's where we pick up spoilers, so don't read on if you don't want to know main plot points. There's really no twists in this movie, so you're probably OK.)

Though the trailers cleverly disguised it, this was a movie about atheism. Ricky Gervais is an outspoken atheist, obviously it's an area where we differ. As the man who figures out how to lie, he tells his mother on her deathbed that there's no reason to be afraid to die, because there's a big man in the sky, and all your loved ones, and you live in a mansion and you're happy forever. After he says this, word spreads about "new information about what happens after you die" and he becomes famous.

It's not subtle, what he does here. And that's fine. It's fair. I think he presents it honestly: religion and God (not mutually exclusive), whether you believe in It or not, is something that can give many people great comfort in times of sadness. It can also cause people to do things or act a certain way based only on what they believe might happen after they die. Is that right? Of course it all depends on what they're doing. In this movie, for example, Ricky's two friends are alcoholics and loners, who don't care about improving their current lot in life because they're just waiting for their mansion in the sky.

I'm not going to get into the religious implications, because it just comes down to a difference of opinion. He's definitely being "blasphemous" and he toes the line of being disrespectful for disrespectufulness sake, but since I knew the subject matter going in, I wasn't wildly offended. I've always taken my faith as something I chose, I believe in, that gives ME comfort, and will agree to disagree with everyone who feels differently.

OK -- moving on. Is the movie good? Yes, it's good. It's not great. I think movies are destined to fall short when they hang on such an absolute -- a word where no one lies. But, really, it's not just a world where no one lies -- it's a world where everyone tells you the honest truth and has no filter. And that's for comic effect, but sometimes it is just too much. A lot of the same jokes and lines are used over and over, and I think it could have used a slight rewrite to smooth the bumps in the writing. The acting is good, the cameos by some great actors is fantastic (including one you'll never expect!). The storyline between Ricky and Jennifer Garner's character is a bit strange, it doesn't quite work given that Garner's character seems to have a one track mind. She's almost like a robot.

There's one scene in the movie that makes it worth it. Ricky's reading his version of the 10 commandments (off pizza boxes no less) and I laughed so hard at a few of the moments I almost cried. I wish there had been more of that.

Overall, it's a little too soapboxy, not quite funny enough to make up for it, and falls short of it's HUGE objective... it feels a little false. Ironically.

Final ranking: Two and a half Werschaibles.

Off my shoulders

2009-09-24T15:25:00.002-04:00

Well I'm no SJP or Charlize Theron, natch. But here's what I came up with...

Apologize for the terrrrible pics. The Werschaible camera is crap and I've never mastered the art of the self-portrait.

Obvs, not that short. My hairdresser recommended against it. I believe she used the word, "poodle." I don't even own a hairdryer so this was probably the way to go. Lo-maintenence. Curl tastic. Jeff friendly?

New wave

2009-09-23T10:57:00.000-04:00

Ever since I got married, I've sort of been dying to cut my hair. It's not uncommon, they have a phrase for it, the "post-wedding chop." Most women grow their hair out for their weddings, and thus have no reason to keep it so long after the wedding is over.

I've been wearing my hair long for years now. The shortest it's been was last September, when I got it cut to this length:

And now, almost a year later, with almost no length cut off... probably close to 6-8 inches longer.

So I'm sick of this hair. I'm sick of my whole look, if I'm being honest. I can't wait to buy a new pair of glasses, but that's a whole 'nother story (Can I pull off this thick frame madness? I think it looks cool on everyone else. On me I'm afraid it will look wonky. Stay tuned).

I want to cut it all off. Shorter than I've had it in years, probably dating back to sixth grade, when I got a perm ;) We don't need a perm, my hair is curly enough as it is and THICK, so who knows what will happen in I cut it. Will it curl better? Be bouncy and cute? Or will it frizz out or lay flat against my head?

One thing's for sure: Jeff's dead-set against it. He does not want me to cut my hair at all! Poor guy, I'm disappointing him already.

My thought was maybe to donate my hair to Locks of Love, but I'm not sure I have the 10 inches they require. They also say the hair can't have been highlighted, and mine has. I might send it to them anyway, as it says on their site that they can sell the hair they don't use to offset the cost of the wigs. We'll see.

I've been perusing the internets for a few days to find some cute, shortish haircuts for wavy hair, and I'm afraid I'm not having much luck. Unfortunately, most of what comes up is from celebrities, and their hair looks great because they spend time blow drying and styling, etc. I haven't blown-out my hair myself in more than two years. I don't really feel like starting.

Here's what I've found that I don't HATE.

As always, this is the time for honesty. And if you know any good sites for hairstyles, let me know. What I've found so far for examples is pretty dismal.

When your heart was an open book

2009-09-11T15:15:00.003-04:00

Lest you think I've been sitting on my butt since the honeymoon, staring out the window, longing to wear the white dress once again... I haven't. But I have.

Quick recap of what's gone down since the honeymoon. Then we get back to the irregular regular schedule of my thoughts.

Pats training camp: Went the day after we got back. Met up with AFCE blogger Tim for a chat.
Concerts: First, Paul McCartney concert at Fenway: Awesome Awesome. He played for over two hours. He still has it.

Had this exchange though, with an elderly gentleman who sat next to me. (This was while Jeff went to go get me some water.)

Him (with no sarcasm, or condescentment ? in his voice): "You know, Paul McCartney used to be in a band."

Me (in disbelief): "Yeah, I know. I just got back from Liverpool." (Holds up my Liverpool sweatshirt).

Him (again, no sarcasm): "Liverpool!? That's where the Beatles are from!"

We continue this exchange of him throwing B-level Beatles trivia at me while I answer him right back. Yeah sir, Pete Best, Stuart Sutcliffe, Wings, Linda McCartney -- I KNOW!

Finally...

Him: "Wait a second..... Do you go to Berkley? I'm not talking the Beatles with a music major am I?!"

Me: blank stare.

--Fin--

The Killers: Went last Friday, a wedding present from our friend Mike. I am such a fangirl for them. Definitely my favorite band... ever?

Movies movies movies. One line reviews.

Away We Go: Saw this before the wedding and absolutely LOVED it. Three-and-a-half Werschaibles.

District 9: Best movie of the year. Four Werschaibles.

Inglorious Basterds: Might be my second favorite movie of the year. Four Werschaibles.

Julie and Julia: Oops, sorry Jeff. Two Werschaibles (On a side note, I did start reading the chick's old blog and the movie does it no justice. Her blog is genuinely entertaining!)

500 Days of Summer: Jeff and I both were disappointed. Two and a half Werschaibles.

Did I miss any babe?

TV: We are now all caught up on How I Met Your Mother (hooked) and we also breezed right through the first two seasons of True Blood (I have a weakness for non-Twilight related vampire schtick.) Working our way through the third season of Dexter.

Now I'm in the midst of name changing baloney, writing thank you cards (a lot harder than I thought), choosing wedding photos, trying to get the house together and trying even less hard to get back to the gym.

More on my life upcoming. Working from the present, not the past...

Wedding Highlight video!

2009-09-09T19:19:00.001-04:00

Untitled from Emily Schaible on Vimeo.

A few disclaimers...

1. No, I did not ask him to put that sesame street clip in (I've piqued your interest now) Yes, I think it's silly.
2. Jeff lost his voice so his voice is not normally so high. Yes, we both cringe when we hear our vows :)
3. I asked him to include a lot of the toasts because they were my favorite part!

4. No, there were no fireworks.

Enjoy!

And now it's time to say goodbye

2009-09-04T14:49:00.005-04:00

And here we are. Day 8, the last day of our honeymoon. The last of a... 14 part? wedding series. I hope you've enjoyed it as much as I haven't.

Kidding.

This was perhaps one of our most jam-packed days. We started off, at 10 a.m., after breakfast... well I guess I have to back up to that. Because -- can you believe it -- my husband was coerced into trying HAGGIS! I think I've mentioned here before about how picky Jeff is, and I don't think I need to get into what exactly haggis is, but even I didn't want to try it. The lady at the B&B insisted that if you come to Scotland you might as well try it, and he even gave it 3 or 4 bites! I wouldn't say he liked it, but I'm proud he gave it a shot.

Anyways, first stop on our last day was Mary King's Close. You may, or may not know, that Edinburgh was sort of built from the bottom up, leaving a whole system of underground "closes" that supposedly were for lower-class people and got really grimey, especially around the plague. MKC is supposedly the best one to tour and we did, complete with an appropriately dressed Scottish tour guide who bordered on unintelligible, but in a camp, fun way. I wasn't thrilled about going, as these Close's have all sorts of haunted connotations, and are dimly lit, which is hard to navigate for someone like me, who's eyes don't function. But Jeff insisted, and I agreed, as long as we could go during the day.

The tour was fun, no pictures I'm afraid, they weren't allowed, and we unearthed to head over to Edinburgh Castle.

Jeff bought a tour book and was my tour guide for the day :)

And honorary Scotsman.

And King Schaibleous the Rambunctious.

And just... be careful ok?
After we left the castle we headed out to the street and over to the Camera Obscura, which is basically a museum of illusions, which was fun and a good way to kill time. At this point, I needed some rest so we headed off the Royal Mile to go relax in the B&B for a while before our last dinner.

We headed over to a place called "The Basement" and ordered two steak and ale pies, two hard ciders (then two more, then one more ;) and then a sticky toffee pudding. It was another great night, and a good sendoff to the honeymoon.

A subtext of our honeymoon was me stopping at internet cafes twice a day to check to see if we'd gotten any wedding teasers. On our very last chance of the honeymoon, we stopped at a cafe... and they were up!!! (Here's a link to the teasers and wedding slideshow if you want.) What a great capper for the night to be able to swoon over the pics.

We got up early the next morning and got the airport no problem. We had an 11-hour travel day, which was exhausting, but we arrived in Boston in the early evening where my earth angel Meg picked us up and drove us home.

Our land in Boston smooch. Greasy, tired and happy.

And back to real life.

Thanks for reading ya'll. Here's some links back to my entire wedding series should you decide at some point you have no life.

Part I -- The Rehearsal Dinner.

Part II -- Wedding Day: Getting ready.

Part III -- Wedding Day: Pre-ceremony.

Part IV -- Wedding Day: The ceremony!

Part V -- Wedding Day: Post-ceremony and the toasts.

Part VI -- Wedding Day: The reception.

Part VII -- The post-wedding brunch.

Part VIII -- Honeymoon (London) Day 1: Flight, Trafalgar Square, Harrod's.

Part IX -- Honeymoon (London) Day 2: London Tower, the Globe and Gordon Ramsay's.

Part X -- Honeymoon (London) Day 3: Abbey Road, Buckingham Palace, Big Ben, Parliament, Les Mis!

Part XII -- Honeymoon (Cotswolds) Day 4+5: Benz'in, Relaxin', Castle-n'

Part XIII -- Honeymoon (Liverpool + Edinburgh) Day 6+7: Beatlemania, BK and the Crags.

Part XIV -- Honeymoon (Edinburgh) Day 8 -- Edinburgh Castle and going home.

OK, I didn't even realize there were that many posts....

It's real love, It's reeeaaaaallll...

2009-09-03T20:22:00.008-04:00

Liverpool!

We said goodbye to the Cotswolds and made our way to Beatle-town on day 6 of the honeymoon. We got there by mid-day and headed over the "Beatles Experience" -- a museum dedicated to the Fab 4. I gotta say, I was disappointed. It was entirely an audio tour -- which I hate because it makes you rely on a tape, and you can't really talk to the one you're with. I felt like I was being shuffled through, and I didn't see much I didn't see/know before. It was cool to "be" there, where it all began, but replicas just don't do much for me. Of course, Jeff and I had fun anyway.

Here we are on "Albert Dock." It was windy. That night we went out to dinner at an "American" restaurant where I decided, against all common sense, to get a quesadilla. Yuck.

Jeff wanted to buy some Liverpool F.C. regalia and we kept seeing people with bags from the official store but couldn't find it. Finally, I stopped a police officer and said, "Can you tell me where the Liverpool soccer store is?"

Hey-o, could I have been any more American? We found it anyway and Jeff got a jersey-shirt and I got a sweatshirt so now we're proper football fans who never watch proper football.

In retrospect, I regret a bit that we decided to stay in Liverpool for a day and didn't drive straight to Scotland. Because let me tell you. Scotland was amazing. But we're not there yet.

The drive from Liverpool to Scotland on Day 7 was 4 1/2 hours. And it was A-Mazing. I've said it to everyone who I've talked to since the honeymoon, you have to go see Scotland sometime in your life. I almost felt bad for Jeff being the driver because the view was so amazing.

We stopped along the way at a rest stop. We got Burger King. Jeff enjoyed it.

We drove the car to Edinburgh airport, took a bus and then a cab to our B&B. It was almost too easy! As we drove into Edinburgh on the bus, it was a beautiful day, and the closer you get to the center of town, the older the buildings get, and then you turn the corner and BAM! there's a castle in the middle of the city. I'm sure you can imagine how amazing that would be to see?

We got to our B&B, checked in, and immediately went out to explore. What a cool city, with a mix of modern and ancient. The "Royal Mile" in the middle of the city runs from the Palace (where the Queen stays when she's in Edinburgh) to Edinburgh Castle and is filled with shops, restaurants, tours and ... street performers.

This dude swallowed a sword. Can't say I've seen that in person before.

The Royal Mile.

We decided to walk towards the Palace side and when we got to the bottom, we came upon the "Crags," which as you can see was sort of a giant hill. At the top, the highest point, is called 'Sir Arthur's Seat" and is supposed to be an incredible view of the city.

My feet were aching once again by this point so I refused to even attempt to climb this. But you know how persistent my husband is, so I said, "OK, we'll go halfway."

It was a steep incline.

But when we got up there, it was totally worth it.

Another amazing aspect of Edinburgh is it's city on one side, mountains on another and sea on the third. Isn't that the best kind of city? We spent sundown just enjoying the view, it was so peaceful. For dinner, I had another steak and ale pie and for dessert we had sticky toffee pudding and some hard cider which is, oh, so, good.

It was the absolute perfect day. My favorite day of the honeymoon.

What does this do?

2009-09-02T21:04:00.009-04:00

OK this is getting embarrassing. Let's just finish this thing (or get close) already.

Day 4 of the honeymoon we packed up our London hotel room and headed to Heathrow so we could pick up our car and drive two hours to the Cotswolds, aka England countryside.

We got to the car rental place and waited forever in line only for the people at the desk to tell us they didn't have what we reserved, which was an automatic car with a GPS.

Say what?

Good news, they said. We have a manual with a built-in GPS. Not good news, we said, neither of us can drive a manual. OK, they said, we have an automatic and I can give you directions, I know how to get to the Cotswolds...

Cue pained faces.

So the dude went in the back and I mentally pictured the scene from Seinfeld where Jerry's at the car rental place and the lady goes in the back to "talk with the manager."

You know how to take the reservation, but you don't know how to HOLD the reservation. Anyone can take them!

When he came back, to our short-lived delight, we saw he had the keys to a Mercedes. Jeff and I had a mental conversation ala How I Met Your Mother that went something like.

Me: You see that, those are keys to a Mercedes.

Jeff: Yeah, I see them, we're getting a Mercedes?

In unison: Sweet!

But no, the dude told us, yes, we can give you this totally sweet Mercedes with a built-in GPS, but yes, we still have to charge you more. Almost $200 more. WTF.

Anyways, we were ready to just get out of there already. We went out to the parking lot, and after two trips back in and out to figure how to find/operate the damn thing, we were off. In a brand-new Mercedes no less. It had nine miles on it. It had all the bells and whistles. But we were still pissed off about the $$ on our carefully budgeted honeymoon... more on that later.

So we channeled all the calm we had stored up and Jeff safely navigated us to the Cotswolds, despite a brief emergency when he somehow put on the parking brake while we were on the highway ;)

Since the Cotswolds in the countryside, the roads are particularly narrow, which you can imagine makes the driving experience harrowing, so we were so relieved when we got to our LOVELY B&B and found "town" to be in walking distance.

But first, some tea.

OK, it was coffee. But it was still good.

And how LOVELY was our B&B? Well, take a look.

View from our window.

Our room.

Our two days in the Cotswolds (Chipping Campden to be specific) were supposed to be our "relaxing" days. I think this street sign pretty much tells you all you need to know about the area.

We had a nice, relaxing dinner that night and woke up refreshed in the morning.

We had a lovely (I know, I'm overusing, but that's the best word to describe it!) breakfast made by our host before we headed out for the day. Remember when I said this was supposed to be the relaxing leg? Do you think Jeff would really let me relax?

I have to tell you though, this morning brought the worst experience of the honeymoon. We decided to stop in town at a genuine silversmith. We walked around the workshop and it was truly incredible. If I had had an unlimited souvenir budget, I would have definitely bought a little silver spoon or cup or something. But alas. Anyways, while we were there I had to go to the bathroom. I bought a bottle of water from so I could use the bathroom there and as I was... um... finishing up, I happened to glance up at the ceiling.

It was COVERED in HUGE spiders. At least 20 of them. Ohmygod, ohmygod, ohmygod!!! I hustled out there something fierce. I ran out (literally) into the courtyard, threw off my jacket and screamed at Jeff to check me. Then I started to cry. It was awful. I hate spiders.

Anyways, we decided to head off to Broadway Tower, which which wasn't that fascinating. It was actually built in an era where Towers were no longer being used.

From the bottom.
From the top.

After that we headed to another relaxing lunch before going to Sudley Castle. Sudley Castle was home of Henry the VIII (see, him again) and his last wife, Catherine. Of all the Castles/Towers we saw, this was definitely my favorite. It was on a huge estate, and it was impeccably maintained.

These last two pictures were taken inside the chapel on the Estate and the last pic is actually the burial place of Queen Catherine. Cool and creepy huh?

Dinner that night was back in town and was our introduction to perhaps the culinary creation most suited for my husband: Steak and ale pie. Oh my, so delish. I got a burger (WHY???) that was absolute CRAP and I spent the end of my meal scraping whatever I could out of my husband's dish. It's like a pot roast, but with a thick ale sauce and a pastry crust. How can you go wrong? Soooo good.

OK, if you've made it this far, I'm happy to say I only have our day in Liverpool and two days in Edinburgh left to cover. I promise to end this in the next two days. But if you read this far, let me wrap up the car $$ situation.

At the encouragement of everyone we told the story to, Jeff demanded the extra money back from the car rental place via e-mail. He forwarded the email to me which absolutely CRACKED me up, since my husband is not really a shake my hand in your face sort of guy. He's more of a brooding, complain under my breath guy. Here's a snippet of the e-mail.

Be it known, I will never rent from [car rental place] again.

I’d like to thank you for throwing a wrench in our carefully planned honeymoon budget. Thanks to your customer service we had to scrap our plans to see a show while in London.

Congratulations on squeezing a few extra dollars out of us. It will be the last time.

For my own gratification (I’m sure), I am including our original reservation and a copy of my bank statement.

Thanks for nothing.

********

Two weeks after the honeymoon, we got our money back.

One day more

2009-08-27T19:12:00.005-04:00

Day three of the honeymoon was our last day in London and again, Jeff wanted to make the most of it. He was adamant about going down to Abbey Road, even though I wasn't crazy about it. It wasn't that I didn't want to go, it just seemed like it would be out of the way, and on top of that, Jeff didn't seem entirely sure where we were going. My feet, at this point, had about a 40 minute life span, seriously, I felt like I was walking on glass, so I didn't want to spend the whole morning walking around.

But I digress. After all, it was Jeff's honeymoon too. As it turns out, it wasn't hard to find at all. Right off the Tube, about a half a mile down the road. We knew we were there because there was a young Spanish couple and an older American man there with cameras. We had to wait our turn and unfortunately, the results weren't that great. Observe.

This second one was taken on our behalf by the young Spanish man. I should have known not to trust him since he had a Yankees shirt on! Oh well, we were there. I swear those two blurry figures are us.

From there we headed down to Buckingham Palace where we realized the changing of the guard would happen soon, so we decided to stick around. It is, apparently, a popular thing to witness.
But I gotta say, not that interesting. They basically have a live band, and I'm sure there's a lot more pageantry that we couldn't see because we were in a bad spot. But the palace itself was awesome.
As you can see, the weather continued to hold out for us! I love this picture of Jeff. From there we walked down the road to Westminster Abbey/Parliament/Big Ben.

These were all definitely must-sees. The architecture is amazing. We had a lot of fun admiring them and taking pictures.

Isn't Parliament amazing? You have to see this before you die. Despite my aching dogs, I took quite a few minutes to admire it, trying to keep the image in my head.

After lunch, Jeff and I were torn on what to do to finish out the day. I mean, we had seen all those huge landmarks before 1 p.m. and we were going that night to see Les Mis. There weren't any more must-sees on our list. But on our way to lunch we passed something called the London Movieum and figured, what the heck? We can kill some time here.

The place was basically set pieces and replicas and costumes from all sorts of movies. We had some fun with pictures.

We went back to the hotel after this to relax for a while. We ordered room service pizza (YUCK YUCK YUCK) for dinner. Don't get pizza in England. It's not a good idea. Then it was off to Les Mis!

I saw the show when I was younger, maybe 12? I remember BAWLING at the end, after we left the building and as we walked back to the car. My mother and I used to go to all the big musicals at PPAC and this one was definitely my favorite. The show originated in London and is the only place that still shows it.

When I first pitched the idea to Jeff, he was less than thrilled. I tried to get him to listen to the music before we left, and he was having none of it.

We got to the Queen's Theater a little before show time and settled into some very good seats for the musical.

What can I say? It was great. I loved it. At intermission, Jeff told me how impressed he was at the production saying, "This is better than when my high school put on 'The Music Man.'" I guess I should have cut him some slack on not being that excited because he had never seen a real professional production of a musical.

I managed to keep back my tears this time and I was surprised how much Jeff enjoyed it.

He still calls it the highlight of the trip. A few days after we got home he IMed me this:

Jeff: im not gonna lie to you... i AM listening to the les miserables soundtrack and i DID want to invade my neighbor's cubicle when One Day More came on

Love it. :)

Oompa, loompa

2009-08-24T23:02:00.006-04:00

Since Day 1 of the honeymoon was a semi-bust, you know Jeff had me up at the crack of dawn for Day 2.

The plan was to go to London Tower. Sounded like a good plan to me, though I had no idea what London Tower was. I should point out here that I've never been out of the country, not even to Canada or Mexico, so the idea that you could roll out of a train station, go down a busy metropolitan street and then, oh 'ello, there's a castle was pretty striking to me.

We got there right as the place was opening, which turned out to be pretty smart as the attraction was bombed as we were leaving. We went to see a lot of castles/palaces on our trip and London Tower definitely had that "first-ever" appeal. What's sort of disappointing about places like this though is that it looks absolutely brilliant from the outside. But on the inside they put up wood paneling in every room and paint the walls white or install modern video screens and it sort of takes you out of it. I don't know what I'm expecting? Actual artifacts, furniture, people? I don't know. But the Tower had a great view of the... Tower Bridge. (This may be well known, but Tower Bridge kicks London Bridge's butt. London Bridge is literally a bridge you could see just about anywhere. Just FYI if you ever go there and never knew that.)

For some reason they had all these metal soldier thingies around the castle, so Jeff and I made use of our fondness for taking silly pictures.

Shakespeare in two acts, wouldn't you say?

They also had some costume stuff you could play with. Of course I included this picture because of how cute Jeff is.

White Tower, circa 1080 was filled with a three-floor exhibit circa 2020. It was cool, all about King Henry VIII. Of all the history we learned in our tour of the UK, King Henry was definitely the historical figure mentioned the most.

London Tower was the first stop on something we found in our London guidebook (thanks Katie!) called the "Millennium Mile" (I think). Of course, I had already walked what felt like several miles already in the morning and my feet were killing me. Is there anything worse than sightseeing for your feet? Ugh, I wish to God I had bought some insoles, I was dying.

Anywhoo... we walked across London Bridge and found a place to eat lunch.

UK honeymoon discovery #4: At most restaurants in the UK that we ate at, you ordered from the bar. These were regular restaurants, not pubs. Also, every table in London had hooks underneath where signs on the table recommended you hang your purse there, lest it get stolen. Also, the UK is a nightmare for soda lovers. They give you half a can's worth with every order .... and no free refills. Poor Jeff.

After lunch we walked over to Shakespeare's Globe. Now, I'll throw this out there for the sake of the story, despite the fact it makes me sound silly, but I had no idea this wasn't the real deal. No idea it was torn down like 300 years ago. Otherwise I would not have paid an admission fee to tour a replica.

After we were done there, we walked across the Millennium bridge back to the Tube and went back to the hotel. We had dinner at Restaurant Gordon Ramsay at 6:30 p.m.

We arrived at Ramsay's at about 5:45. It's weird, it's so small, in a regular neighborhood. We walked right past it and didn't realize it was there. Jeff was too embarrassed to go in early, but I finally convinced him to make a break for the door around 6, thinking they'd let us sit in the bar. Well, no. They didn't actually open until 6:30 and the waiter at the door sheepishly told us we'd have to come back. Jeff was mortified, of course I didn't really care. We walked around the block a few times, saw two women come around the corner, stop, take off their shoes, pull new shoes out of their bags, put those on and walk towards Ramsays. I tell you this because I did the exact same thing. Too funny!

(Outside the restaurant)

We got inside, they took my jacket and we got a look at the place. It was not what I was expecting at all. The dining room was intimate, there were maybe 10 tables? There were some other patrons inside already, so we felt a little more at ease.

Now at Ramsay's, they had a waiter for everything. A waiter for bread, a waiter for water, a waiter for wine, a waiter who brought out the tray so the other waiter could explain to you what was on it. There was more wait staff than there were people in the restaurant. And they were all so friendly and understanding of our questions, confusions and general out-of-placements. I love when people in upscale places are nice to you when you clearly are out of your league -- makes me feel like Pretty Woman. (Big mistake! HUGE!)

I digress.

First came the canapes. One was a sweet potato crisp sandwich stuffed with mozzarella and pesto. The other was a pastry cone filled with avocado and lobster. The second was delicious, Jeff loved it! (I should mention at this point three things, not related. 1. I had intended to take pictures of the food, but once I got in, that clearly would have been too embarrassing to handle. 2. Jeff is picky. 3. This was an absolute splurge for us and in no way could we actually afford it. C'est la vie!)

Then came the amouse bouche. Cold tomato consumme soup with a baby shrimp and caviar. Not my favorite. Probably because I love my soups hot.

Finally we got to, you know, order something. We decided we'd each have the three course menu. I had the lobster ravioli and beef filet and Jeff had the scallops and duck. Here are the food descriptions for these items.

Ravioli of lobster,
langoustine and salmon poached in a light bisque
with a lemongrass and chervil velouté

Pan-fried sea scallops from the Isle of Skye
with peas, crispy bacon,
quail’s eggs and baby gem lettuce

Aged Casterbridge beef fillet
with fondant potato, fricassée of broad beans,
courgettes and confit cherry vine tomatoes

Roasted Barbary duck breast
with creamed savoy cabbage, beetroot,
caramelised shallots and Madeira jus

Ohmygod. The lobster ravioli was amazing. It was actually just one large ravioli, STUFFED with just delicate lobster chunks. The sauce it came with was unreal, I feel like I can still taste it, it was that good. I sopped it up with one of the FOUR pieces of bread I had.

Jeff's sea scallops were just as good. Jeff doesn't like fish, so the scallop was actually a compromise for him, as the appetizers only revolved around fish or fois gras, so I guess fish was the lesser of two evils. For him, it was just OK. For me, his scallops were the best scallops I've ever had. Yum yum yum!!!

Next came our entrees. I have to say my beef filet was not the best steak I've ever had, still very good though. However, it came with a chunk of potato that I can't even describe. It tasted like a roasted potato, as in, one that would be in a pot, infused with gravy. That sounds pedestrian, but it was just sooooo good! It came with a bit of bone marrow -- interesting! and slimy. The two tomatoes came with it ruined me for the rest of my life on tomatoes. They were that good.

I didn't get much of a taste of Jeff's duck but he was pleased with it.

Not as pleased as he was with the pre-dessert though. Or should I say, dessert 1 of 12.

First up was the freebie "pre-dessert." It was a champagne and strawberry smoothie, topped with vanilla creme, served in a champagne glass with a glass straw. Oh, and it had pop rocks in it. I kid you not. It was amazing.

(I'll interject here and say I had two glasses of wine and Jeff had two beers for our drinks. We also had two bottles of water. I made myself drink both bottles because we had to pay for them, natch.)

Then came our ordered dessert. Now, with the three course menu you ordered an appetizer, entree and dessert, obviously. The dessert, for most, was one item. But Jeff and I went with the "dessert for two" which was no more expensive but contained the following items.

Fruit bowl with pineapple ravioli.

Apple fritter.

Chocolate mousse in chocolate casing.

Some sort of lime sorbet with a crispy pastry shell.

Vanilla creme brulee.

The waiter came out and laid this all on the table. Then he said, "When you're finished with this, I'll bring out the rest of it."

Our mouths dropped. We snickered "Suckers!" to those who had not ordered the dessert for two.

Ooook, let's get to work then.

Clearly, we demolished it all. Jeff loved the lime sorbet, and I was of course partial to the chocolate mouse. The creme brulee was good and the apple fritter was OK. The fruit bowl was a nice fresh treat.

OK done with that. What could possibly still be to come? Mind you, we had no idea what the "dessert for two" included, there was no description on the menu, so we were sort of in the hands of the chef.

Out came a cherry souffle and two spoonfuls of chocolate ice cream. Oh my. Definitely the highlight, for me, of dessert. The souffle was amazing, not overly fruity and Jeff said the ice cream tasted like pure chocolate -- it was his favorite part.

At this point, clearly, I was absolutely stuffed.

But it wasn't over. Out came the freebie "post desserts." Chocolate truffles dusted with silver powder and presented on a tree-like wire thing, turkish delight (which I don't care for) and a container of white chocolate strawberry ice cream, on dry ice, which made quite the specticle when it came out.

We somehow finished it. Then I couldn't help but think of the fuss I'd been making all night to the waiters, how it was our HONEYMOON, how we had gotten ENGAGED at Gordon Ramsay's restaurant in NYC. So I knew there'd be something still to come.

There was. A tiny scoop of strawberry sorbet with a candle. I could barely eat it but Jeff LOVED it.

It was at this point I felt comfortable enough with our friendly French waiter to ask him for a picture. He kindly obliged.

Overall, a truly amazing dining experience and one of the most memorable nights of my life. Dinner lasted a leisurely but packed two and a half hours and I'll be real with you: it cost us just a shade under $400. But it was our honeymoon right??

We left the restaurant full, but not sick and took a slow walk back to the Tube on an absolutely beautiful night.

Sleepers

2009-08-22T17:57:00.011-04:00

The plane ride over to London was somewhat significant if for no other reason than I'd obsessed over it for months. Nevermind my fear of flying, although that was part of it. Since it was a 7 p.m. flight that was six hours long and landed at 7 a.m., I knew I had to, had to sleep on the plane ride over or risk being sleep deprived, groggy and grumpy the whole trip. And no one wanted that.

But despite taking enough Lorazapem and dramamine to take down a small horse, our seats were so uncomfortable that neither Jeff or I slept a wink. We had a two-seat row, which normally would be great -- but for some reason the window seat was about a foot and a half away from the wall of the plane, meaning there was nothing for us to lean on but each other. I found momentary comfort by putting my legs on top of Jeff until my leg fell so fast asleep I limped around the plane for 15 minutes like Leapin' Larry.

The flight was otherwise uneventful and we landed on time at London's Heathrow airport. We managed to find the Tube and get an Oyster card with relative ease and settled in for an hour ride to the hotel. (I actually fell asleep on the train, which has to be a first.)

When we got to the hotel I was hoping and praying that we would be allowed to check in and we could get a few hours of sleep. No dice. They let us stow our bags but, being that it was about 10 a.m., we'd have to wander around London like zombies and come back at two. Which is basically what we did.

We found a place called Pret A Manger which is a chain along the lines of a Panera and was where we ate breakfast every day we were in London. The food I got was just OK, but Jeff found some tomato mozzarella croissant thing that he couldn't get enough of.

UK honeymoon discovery #1: In England, you only get charged VAT (value added tax) if you eat in at a restaurant. If you take it to go, you don't get charged. Thusly, on every item of food there were two prices listed. Took me until day 3 to figure it out though.

UK honeymoon discovery #2: The British are world's better for asking for your ID when you use a debit card with no signature than Americans.

After breakfast, we sort of wandered around for a bit. For me, a trip to London was a chance to experience another culture (I know, vastly different). For Jeff, it was a chance to see a bunch of specific "sights." So the wandering wasn't working for him. In walking distance of our hotel wasn't much, but we walked down to Madame Tussaud's only to see a line about 3 blocks long. No thanks.

Feeling frustrated, we jumped on the Tube and made our way down to Piccadilly Circus, which is sort of like the Times Square of London, but not as big as NY. Close to Piccadilly Circus is Trafalgar Square, which I recognized, so we wandered down there. It is, in fact, not a particularly interesting place to be. We walked down a little more, into a public garden, and determined we could PROBABLY walk down to Big Ben but at that point it was close to 2 and I had had enough. I couldn't walk anymore.

Trafalgar square.

We still managed to smile cute on no sleep.

We got back to the hotel a little after 1 and thankfully they let us check in. We dropped dead from about 2 to 5 p.m. and I felt positively refreshed when I woke up, despite the lack of sleep. Bummed that we sort of wasted so much of our day, I suggested we hit up Harrod's, giving us a chance to hit a landmark that can be appreciated at night.

Jeff had never heard of Harrod's and me selling it as a "big department store" didn't really elicit excitement from my husband who hates to shop. But that's such a mellow way to describe it. It's absolutely amazing and completely overwhelming. It's five floors, each floor separated into wings or rooms selling one specific thing. For example, there's a fine china room, there's a room just for clothing for pets, there's a toy section and in it there's a soft toy room, a hard toy room, an electronics room, etc. etc. And it's all high end stuff that we could never afford but was fun to look at.

Also inside they had a marketplace that was like the world's nicest foodcourt. They had a whole room for chocolates. They had several restaurants. We chose a tapas place on the ground floor. The food was OK. Definitely not our best meal.

After dinner we wandered around a little bit longer. We found a Bob Dylan art exhibit, which Jeff was pretty stoked about.

He was also pretty stoked about the giant gorilla in the soft toy room.

Harrod's is owned by the Fayed family, as in the Dodi Fayed who died with Princess Diana. We found this totally tasteful tribute to the fallen stars.

We got some gelato at the 'food court' and sat outside to eat it. It was a beautiful night, perfect temperature. The weather in London was not as bad as advertised. We headed back to the hotel to get a much needed night of sleep.

UK honeymoon discovery No. 3: Every single night in the UK, a new episode of Big Brother was on in primetime. They have news shows entirely dedicated to the show. It's sort of unreal how much primetime airtime is devoted to the show which is actually pretty boring. Jeff got sick of it pretty fast, but it was really the only thing on....

Epic nights and days

2009-08-20T13:54:00.005-04:00

Later that night at the hotel....

Uh, no, not that. You think I'm going to blog about that?!?

I will tell you that when Jeff and I got back to the hotel, we were exhausted, sweaty and very, very happy. Since we hadn't really had any alone time all day, we talked about everything that happened. Well, I talked, Jeff whispered -- his voice was beyond shot. I had him recite his vows again, and it was awesome to hear them.

Then came the thing every couple does on their wedding night... opens up all their gifts!

Of course, you don't get married to get gifts. But it is an overwhelmingly happy feeling when you open cards and gifts from your loved ones that are beyond generous and we are so so appreciative (Thank you cards coming -- we special ordered them, but as soon as we get them, we'll be writing like maniacs!)

Most things were monetary or off our registry but we got two "different" gifts that we loved: First, a handmade cutting board from my college friend Stephanie and her husband Adam. Very awesome and sweet.

Second ... a little backstory here: My best friend Andrew called me a few weeks before the wedding to ask me what he should get us. Oh, Drew. He was as much asking because he didn't know I couldn't TELL HIM what to buy me and because he didn't really know what a person is supposed to buy for a wedding. Knowing his struggling artist status (not for long -- check out www.myspace.com/MontyAreI for a new song!!) I of course told him not to worry about it, his presence, and performance at our ceremony was truly enough.

Naturally I wasn't surprised when we opened his gift that night and saw what he got us: movie tickets. How perfect! Jeff and I love movies, it's our favorite date night. It's as good as cash, or better for us. That wasn't all. Andrew and I have a history of writing epic cards/letters/e-mails/IM conversations/phone calls/yearbook entries to each other. Of course, he didn't let me down on his wedding card, which was about five pages long. I read it outloud to Jeff, and was bawling by the end. I hope he doesn't mind if I share a little bit of it here!!

He basically had written out what he would have said had he given a speech at the wedding, but ended the letter with this:

And just earlier that day, when Emily told me about being involved in the wedding, she was on the phone with my girlfriend trying to convince her to ditch her friends and come celebrate the 4th of July with our friends. We weren't sure if we could make it, but Em wouldn't take no for an answer. After I got off the phone I asked Jackie is Emily was pushy, because she can kind of be demanding sometimes. She always makes plans ahead of time and sticks to them. Which is the complete opposite of Jackie and I. So Jackie asks me, "If you guys are so different, how are you friends?" Ya know, that's a good question.

I don't have the answer. I just know that I'm thankful for our friendship and I'm confident it will stand strong for many years to come, as I know your marriage will, and your commitment to each other. As someone who cares deeply about your happiness, Emily, I'm thankful you and Jeff found each other. Congratulations. May you have a lifetime of love together. You deserve each other.

I'm sure it wasn't Andrew's intention to leave me crying on my wedding night, but what can I say? I'm so thankful for his friendship, for all my friends, for the intense network of support I have that only grew stronger on my wedding day.

The morning after our wedding, my mother hosted a brunch across the street from the hotel for her family, the wedding party and anyone who came from out of town and stayed in Newport. I was thankful for the extra few moments with those who came to see me. And the breakfast was great too!

It was especially awesome as we were able to snap a few epic pictures. You see, it was the first time in seven or so years that my entire mother's side of the family was together.

Here we are. My grandfather is in the middle... his three children to your left, and his grandchildren (5 of us) and his great grandchildren (three... with one on the way via my cousin Lisa) and all the spouses! I definitely treasure this picture and was happy my wedding could be the setting for it.

After the brunch we all said goodbye and my friend Meg and her husband Troy drove us back up to Boston. It was fun to be with them the day after because they too were recently married and knew the ins and outs and stresses and everything so it was great to talk to them. When we got to their apartment, Troy showed me some of the fabulous photos he snapped of our day, our first real pictures, which were amazing and you can see them here. Thanks Troy!

Meg drove us to the airport a few hours later where we were going to catch our flight to London.

Are you ready to hear about the honeymoon?

Just dance

2009-08-19T19:37:00.016-04:00

(Outside our venue)

The truth is, if I didn't have so many fabulous pictures to tell this story, I would have probably said less.

So I'll let the pictures tell the story about my reception, and I'll pop in to tell you my memories. The fact is my reception was like most, I'm sure. Dinner, dancing, etc. etc. Some things went wrong (my entire reception rushed the ice cream bar, thusly not dancing for over an hour), but these pictures don't tell that story. In fact, these pictures show me that people WERE having fun -- something I needed to be convinced of after the fact.

Without further ado...

I love this candid shot of Jeff. His redness exacerbated by the pink walls, he just looks so happy no?

These seven friends, and one husband, are the non-family people who know me better than anyone in the world. Everything you need to know about me, you could learn from one of these people. Three of them I've known since elementary school, one from middle, two from high school and my college roommate. I'm beyond lucky.

I'm not sure if this shot was candid, or staged, but I like to think it was spontaneous. These are Jeff's parents, married for 37 years. They are truly a perfect pair, one of those "I know what you're thinking without you having to say a word" couples who work in such harmony with each other it's so comforting to watch. They're like peanut butter and jelly. :)

My cousins Sarah and Katie, with their dad. These three really got the party started!

This is my cousin Tracie and her husband Kevin, who flew all the way from Hawaii to be with us on our wedding day. Obviously, that meant a tremendous amount to me. I remember when these two got married -- in fact, I was their flower girl. They are also a huge inspiration to me -- married for 16 or 17 years they still have the same dynamic with each other that they did when I was hiding under a picnic table watching them canoodle when I was nine. They have such a great sense of humor and while in many ways I'd consider them opposites -- she was a little bit of a wild child (it's true!) and he's in the Navy -- they work perfect together. And I love this picture.

I don't think I need to tell you why I love this pic :)

Jeff and I have no recollection of what song was playing during this pic. But this is one of Jeff's classic dance faces, and I luvs.

And, to be fair, here's one of mine.

My friend Grimey said he'd never seen a dance circle in real life before our wedding, he thought they were for "Britney Spears videos and dance movies." Oh no, my friends and I have a long-standing relationship with the dance circle. Exhibit A (above): Andrew.

Exhibit B: Pat.

Ohmygosh, how I wish you could see this picture bigger. This is probably my favorite picture in the whole bunch. This is such a classic. Ryan and Sarah. You guys are awesome.

At the end of the night, my best guy friends gathered up all the rose petals off the tables and threw them over me. Apparently they looped the photog in so she could get this picture.

We don't stop at dance circles. We also conga.

And then it was the last song and last kiss of the night. We said our goodbyes and everyone went home.

And it was over. And it was just beginning.

Party time

2009-08-17T16:41:00.010-04:00

I know, I have not been brief, but I'll try to be now.

So, we're married.

After walking down the aisle as husband and wife, Jeff and I take a minute to ourselves behind the bumper boat tent (don't ask.) I thought we were alone, but we weren't, and it's a good thing as this is my favorite series of photos in the whole bunch.

Happy and relieved, that pretty much sums it up right?

After we had a couple of hugs of congratulations, the wedding party headed down to the beach to take some pictures. It's funny that it appears like the pictures were effortless and caught in the moment, but in reality they took several minutes to set up, and were held for several minutes on top of that. Especially this one:

The result is funny and cool, and I'll always remember how we laughed trying to set this up. I don't want to load up this blog with a bunch of pro pics which you can all see here and here. Needless to say I'm thrilled with them, although at the time I was ready to hurry up to see everyone at the party!

We finally made it up there at the tail end of the cocktail hour, in time to snap a few pics on the carousel. Finally it was time for introductions and our first dance.

Our bridal party planned on doing fun introductions, but I guess they were rushed because the dance floor was all the way around the room, but I would have missed them anyway.

Our first dance was to Joshua Radin's acoustic version of "Only You."

It was great.

Then came the speeches, probably my favorite part of the reception. The order was my maid of honor, Katie, our best man Steve and my best friend Justin. I plan to try and post the video of the speeches when I get back our DVD, if that's possible, because I hardly remember then except to remember they were awesome.

Katie actually left her speech at my table, so I can give you a little excerpt here:

She started by introducing herself and then said:

I met Emily in September of 1995. In June 1997, Emily wrote the following in my Hugh B. Bain middle school yearbook:

"Katie, well, we've had some difficult times. We've had a lot of fun but we've also annoyed each other a lot. But, we have all next year to make up for the fights. All best friends fight. You are my best friend and will be for a long time. Can't wait for Emerald Encore! Love, Emily."

--skipping ahead--

Emster, Emmy, Em, my homie made of foamie... I am completely happy for you and Jeff. I have been continually impressed with the way Jeff treats you and how committed you are to creating a life together. You are both very deserving of each other's companionship, care, commitment, honesty, humor and love.

When we were on one our bridesmaids planning adventures, Emily said about Jeff, "He's all I need."

I hope you continue needing each other for as long as you both live.

Isn't that so sweet? I loved it, especially her grabbing out of our yearbook. That totally sounds like something I'd have said back then. I clearly hadn't grasped what it meant to be a good friend to someone. I'm glad Katie stuck by me while I figured it out.

Steve and Justin's speeches were both great, teasing us for our sports loving ways, Jeff's Yankee love, my bad haircuts and dorky band geek ways, and loads of other things I can't wait to listen to again.

This was pretty much my face during all of the speeches. It's sort of an "awwww, shucks" face.

What truly great friends I have.

OK, tomorrow, I'll wrap up the reception!!

I'll never be too old or too cool

2009-08-12T20:48:00.011-04:00

Remember how I've been saying how real it was feeling? From the dress, to seeing the venue?

Well I'm here to tell you it doesn't get any realer than when you're about to take your first steps down the aisle.

You open the doors, you get to the top of the stairs.

You see your dad at the bottom. He's crying. Your heart melts a little. This is your moment.

You're talking to your dad to relax a little bit. It's a long aisle, by the way. You get halfway down and see your best friend playing the keyboards. After all he was worrying about, it sounds absolutely perfect. You knew it would. You smile at him.

You realize that all this time you haven't been looking at your fiance. You finally lock eyes and it's incredible. You see him with a look on his face you've never seen before. You've seen him happy, you've seen him excited, but you've never seen THIS face, in the six years you've been dating, this sort of exhuberant joy bursting out of his skin and his smile and his eyes.

You hand off your bouquet to your maid of honor and grab your soon to be husband's hands. You take a moment -- while the priest is talking about who knows what -- to look around and see your friends and family all gathered there. Don't they look nice? Where is ... oh, there he is. You feel appreciative of all the people that have come and instantly forget those who RSVP'd no. These are all the people you wanted there. These are your people.

The priest asks if you vow to love honor protect and you do. Jeff says, "Absolutely I do" paying homage to Rocky. Yes, Rocky references somehow make it into your wedding ceremony.

There's more talking by the priest. You take this time to look around a little more. A lot of beachgoers have stopped to watch your ceremony. There's a dude, with a hairy chest, plopped on a bench behind the chairs drinking out of a gatorade bottle. You look off in the distance and see a guy crouched with a camera. Hey, Jeff has that same shirt and tie combination -- his sister bought it for him at Sears. Oh, that makes sense. It's his sister's boyfriend, Rob. And he's 50 yards down the beach taking pictures... why? You can't wait to tease him about it later.

It's time for the vows. You told the priest you had to go first, you wouldn't make it if you had to go second. You take a breath and say:

I couldn’t love anyone more than I love you…

I love that I can tell the same stupid joke over and over and you still think it’s funny, and I vow to keep telling them as long as you keep laughing.

I love that you respect, support and believe in me, and I vow to stand by your side and hold your hand through everything.

I love that you give me a kiss on the head every morning when you leave for work and I vow to always return the favor before you fall asleep at night.

I love that you think I’m beautiful without any makeup on, and I vow never to wear this much make up again.

I love that we’re perfect for each other, that we can have fun doing nothing at all, that we can always be ourselves, and I vow to always make time for us.

I love that you are my partner, my teammate, my best friend, and I vow to be your loving and faithful wife, supporter and closest friend always.

You think it went over well. You can't wait to hear Jeff say the super secret vows he's been writing for months. He opens his mouth and practically nothing comes out. His voice is still gone and it cracks when he says ...

Emily, you’re my best friend, my accomplice, my playmate and one true love.

You make me feel happier than I ever imagined and more loved than I ever thought possible.

You’ve got a lot going for you…

You’re beautiful (of course). You’re smart. And you appreciate life’s finer things … sports, Seinfeld re-runs and pizza.

You have impeccable dance moves. And you can always, always make me laugh.

Truly, “I consider myself the luckiest man on the face of the earth.”

So on this special day I promise to give you the best of myself – to be the man you deserve.

I promise to love and care for you.

I’ll always be honest, kind, patient and forgiving.

I will remind you, everyday, how beautiful you are.

I know that it’s the little things that make all the difference.

I will open doors and never go to sleep angry.

I will never be too old or too “cool” to hold hands.

I promise to demonstrate my appreciation and gratitude for you every day.

I will be flexible – but please consider that on occasion, I just may have a point.

And I’ll let you take the credit.

I will try in every way to be worthy of your love.

Through the best and the worst,

Through the easy and the difficult,

Whatever may come, I will always be there.

Ahh... you love him. The line where he says he'll "never be too old or too cool" to hold your hand is your favorite.

It's time for the rings. "With this ring, I pledge my love and faithfulness."

There's more to the wedding, but you just want to give him the kiss already. Finally you can.

And you're married. And it's wonderful.

Work it, baby

2009-08-11T20:44:00.018-04:00

After a failed attempt to re-enter the world of the work out, I come back to my computer and say, "Let's get right to it, shall we?"

So where was I? Ah, right, about to put on my dress. This is when it becomes real, by the way. Once your dress is on, it's a ticking clock. Perhaps that's why Jeff did this:

He was trying to savor the moment.

Getting the dress on is not necessarily an easy feat. Katie, who is quite adept at dressing me after years of practice, help me get into the goods, and then into the dress. Partly anyway, because of course you have to get the getting into the dress picture! Even if it is completely staged.

Katie didn't pass up the picture opp.

But once it's on, it's time to tuck. Tuck Katie tuck!

And now you're in. Pose baby pose!

Which is what I did, for about the next 30 minutes. I'm pretty much in love with the results, and didn't slow at the yellow, but sped right through the red with the amount of facebook pictures one can put up of themselves without looking completely self-absorbed. I have, of course, learned my lesson, so I'm just going to post a few, just a few ok? here.

A note on that last one. I nudged up my shoulder a little -- just a smidge -- and the photographers (yes there were two) went nuts. So there I stood, pushing my shoulder to the point of disjointing because I was hearing "Shoulder baby! More shoulder!" as Katie put a large fan on me and and I used two shirtless men as furniture. Some of that last part might not be true. But there was plenty of shoulder, nonetheless.

Finally, they were done with me. I was released and allowed to go over to the venue where I got to see the space all done up for my wedding. And then got to peak out the window to see all the chairs set up outside. And remember before when I said it started to feel real when I put the dress on. Well, turns out there's varying degrees of real. This made it really real. Super real.

And I had to wait, again, for about an hour for the moment. Of course, there was enough drama to fill the time. What drama you say?

Drama is really a strong word. But first you need the back story: the Rotunda where we got married offered a wedding arch to use. One problem, it was heinous. You can see it in the background of the picture.

Now you're saying, why is it in that picture if you hated it? Well, good question. Jeff's father had graciously volunteered to make us the bamboo arch I really wanted, and then the florist would decorate it with flowers and it would be beautiful. We knew all along we'd be facing an issue of the wind and the day of was no different. Apparently, when the florist showed up to add the flowers to the arch and put it in the ceremony spot, the arch collapsed. So a decision was made (not by me, I wasn't there) to move it inside until the last minute before guests started arriving and hope for the best. And to keep the above arch there until then.

Well there I was, from my perch inside the Rotunda, completely unable to control what was going on. I saw the four groomsman bring the arch out, completely jostling it, further breaking it because they were all walking at different heights and tearing the thing apart. It actually led to a funny moment as I was standing there, watching them bring it over and realize they were putting it down backwards, being guys, they didn't see that the flowers were only on the front. So we're standing there, my mom, my bridesmaids and I going, "Turn it around. Turn it around! Someone has to notice it's the wrong way right? RIGHT?!" They did figure it out, if somewhat comically late. Once it was set down, you could see it leaning and I was completely calm about it, but I wanted it out. I didn't want it to fall on someone's head during the ceremony! But people kept saying, it will be fine, it will be fine.

Then Katie had a genius premonition -- the thing was leaning because the fabric we had draped on it was acting like a sail, we needed to cut holes in it so the wind would blow through. So there was my maid of honor, 10 minutes before my ceremony, jamming holes in the fabric on my arch. Did I mention she's amazing?

Then we're five minutes to the ceremony and I realize -- no one's sitting down. Why is no one sitting down? I still need an answer about this. Who goes to a wedding and doesn't sit down in the chairs with at least 10 minutes to go? We had Andrew out there playing (he did an amazing job by the way), signifying a wedding would occur soon, but no one was sitting down. I'm not exactly sure on the times, but I'm pretty sure we started the ceremony late.

And then it was a blur. All of a sudden my mother and my bridesmaids had left me, down the stairs and the aisle. And I was alone in the Rotunda. My father was meeting me at the bottom of a long staircase, and Jeff was waiting for me at the end of the aisle. My stomach was in knots and it was time.

.... and I swear I'll get to the ceremony next.

But first, you want to know how the arch turned out. Well, take a look.

I'm happy to say, despite it's left leaning and string spewing, it made it through the whole ceremony. And then collapsed 10 minutes into the formal pictures :)

Dum, dum, da dum

2009-08-10T21:54:00.006-04:00

I don't think I'm going to even try to attempt to boil my wedding day (Aka the best, if not happiest day of my life) into one single blog post. That somehow seems disrespectful of the moment.

Then again, we'll see how this goes.

Fortunately, and amazingly, I slept well the night before my wedding. Well, I should say I fell asleep fine, thank a week of getting up early and two glasses of wine for that, but I woke up around 7 a.m., and well, once you're awake and there's sunlight on your wedding day, you're awake for good.

Unfortunately, or maybe fortunately (I have yet to decide) I didn't have anything to actually DO until 11 a.m. but be held hostage in my hotel room. Jeff and I had sort of an unspoken feeling about staying apart the day of our wedding, and I do agree it makes it that much more special. I must say I cheated a bit by calling him twice as well as peering at him through windows at various points of the day, but I digress.

I had a brief moment of pause when I called him in the morning to track down the facewash I'd left in his room, and he didn't answer. I sent my mom over to the room, and he wasn't there. I called again and our friend Mike (aka Grimey -- but not in how you're thinking) answered the phone because he had crashed in Jeff's room the night before and said he wasn't there. I thought, for maybe half a second, he'd bailed on me. No, of course he hadn't... he had been getting his golf clubs out of the back of my car, but what girl isn't scarred for life after the Sex and the City movie? When he finally did call me back, his voice was still gone.

Anyways, I was stuck in my hotel room until 10 a.m. -- when the boys were leaving our small hotel (I should mention that right? Our hotel had just nine rooms, hence increasing the liklihood that we would run into each other) to go play golf on what was, if you can remember back to two Saturdays ago, an absolutely beautiful day. I commissioned my mother to go downstairs to get me a bagel (they kept telling me, a girl's gotta eat on her wedding day!) and sort of wallowed for a few hours until sneaking down to Katie's room on the first floor. Down there Katie showed me the 400 pictures her boyfriend Ben had taken of our rehearsal and we spotted Jeff and his guys outside the window in what can only liberally be called golf gear.

Finally, around 10:30 they left, and I was free to roam around. The plan was for the girls to meet around 11 a.m., go to a sandwich shop near our hair salon, have a leisurely lunch before going to our hair appointment at 1. Sounds like plenty of time, right? Wrong. Silly me.

First issue was that I had actually apparently told everyone 11:30 in my e-mail. Whoops. And then when we got to the sandwich shop, it took. forever. Seriously, 30 minutes to make 7 wraps. From there I cut Katie's lunch short to have her traipse around Bristol for some contact solution as my brand new contacts were making me cry. I was having visions of being on the beach and sand flowing into my contact and... ouch. Katie, the world's greatest maid of honor said "No problem" and was off. Meanwhile I ran ahead to the salon because I knew the bride needed to get beautified and was STRESSED about time.

When we got to the salon they started me right away in the makeup chair. Now let me say, clearly, I never wear makeup. And I made it very clear to the makeup artist that I still wanted to look like me, but a glam me. And boy did she deliver. If it were just me in the chair staring at my face, I probably would have thought there was a touch too much foundation, but having 6 other women telling you how awesome you look sort of takes that doubt away. The hair was the cherry on the sundae -- I was very happy with the way it turned out -- even if it did put us another 15 minutes behind schedule and facing even more traffic back to Newport.

What do you think?

Before makeup/hair

During

After

I raced back to Newport (yes I was driving) because our photographer had already arrived at the hotel and I don't do well with being late. Again, again, again it was totally fine. By the time I got back to the hotel, not only was the photographer there, but the flowers had arrived and all the girls-- who I had sent back from the salon -- were ready.

And before I knew it, it was time to get into the dress.

I'm back baby!

2009-08-05T08:11:00.017-04:00

Back to life, back to reality, and ready to blog about it.

I might not have started this soon, but my landlord apparently thinks we're still not back and started drilling on the house at 7 a.m. Brilliant.

I can't believe it's all over. I hate wedding cliches like the plague, but it really did go by so fast. I'm going to try and recap it all in as much detail as I can, which might take me some time. I don't want to feel that this daunting task of recapping the last 10 days of my life to be like homework, and I don't fool myself into thinking there's anyone out there who really wants every blow-by-blow. (Most people are probably happy with a handful of pictures, a "It was great!" and let's talk about something else.)

But for my sake, when my memory fades, I'd like to have as vivid a description as I can of the happiest few days of my life when I'm old, gray, and they implant my blog into the computer in my head.

With that. We'll start at the rehearsal.

We all met down at the beach at 1 p.m. on a beautiful day to run through our rehearsal as quickly as possible -- which is nearly impossible. Silly me had scheduled our nail appointments for 2 p.m. and in Bristol -- half an hour away. So although the rehearsal was something I considered very important, I stood there with the "Go faster, go faster, go faster" face on and upped my anxiety level about 13 points (Of course, in the end, it was totally fine. I mean, damn, we're just walking right?)

Still had time for some pics though! Notice my awesome ribbon bouquet courtesy of my fabulous MOH Katie.

Dad walking me down the aisle.

Gotta practice the smooch!

Cousins!

We jetted off to get our nails done and I got my first ever pedicure. I'll tell you right now, I'm strongly considering making that part of my beauty regimen :) My feet looked/felt awesome! Moving on...

Most people probably wouldn't mention their rehearsal dinner, but since mine was probably, oh the best night of my life, I figure it's worth a mention.

We decided to eschew the normal sit-down rehearsal dinner for a cocktail style welcome party. We found a place in downtown Newport called Pop! Kitchen and Cocktails and met with the owner who was more than willing to work within our budget.

It was the best decision we made!

I managed to show up on time and find a great parking spot, two strokes of lucky considering Friday traffic and all. We had the bar all to ourselves for three hours which was, again, amazing and the food started rolling out shortly after we got there. Initially I was worried about the food, both the quality and the quantity, but damn, what was I worrying about (You'll hear that alot in this space). The food was, in my opinion, really, really good and plentiful. I was absolutely stuffed by the end of the night.

What was so great about the rehearsal dinner was that it brought together people from all over my life. And it made me realize, the people in my life could be the best set of people in the world. Am I exaggerating? Maybe. But everyone was so friendly. There were no wallflowers. No one hid in a corner. Our friends from San Diego were talking to my family and our straight shooting friends were talking to our wild ones and everyone got together amazingly well! You know those kind of nights. Where everyone around you seems to be having a great time, there's no awkward silence, everyone's eating and drinking and you just feel... full of happiness.

The only hiccup, and it wasn't even really one, was that my surprise groom's cake MELTED on the way to the rehearsal dinner space and sort of started to tilt to one side. Oh well. I wasn't upset about it at all, but my dear cousin Tracie, who picked it up for me, was pretty upset. I told her no sweat! People still thought it looked great and it tasted awesome. I think Jeff liked it.

At the end of the night, totally unexpectedly, the owner of Pop! brought out champagne for the whole wedding party and we had an impromptu toast which was a nice moment. Since I was driving and had two glasses of wine already, I passed my glass to my champagne loving fiance.

Jeff had just as much -- or more -- than me. He was beboppin' and scattin' around that room having the time of his life. Too much fun in fact, because at the end of the night I could hardly hear him, he had lost his voice. The night before our wedding.

To be continued!

You know why...

2009-07-21T09:55:00.001-04:00

Crunch time, baby.

It's weird, I hit the two month mark back in May, and that's when the anxiety really took over. That's when the "I can't wait for this to be OVER!" began. Well, then came the bachelorette, the shower and now we're four days away and I'm feeling like, wow, this IS almost over. The stress is lifting, mostly because the weather forecast, the last unknown, is looking great. Humid, but great. My mood was rainy last week, but now I'm partly sunny!

My family is all arriving this week, the budget turned out to be completely on point, I've met with all the vendors, and now everyone is just eagerly awaiting the weekend. Here's the plan.

Friday: Drive down to RI in the morning. Stop at the Providence Place Mall to get my ring cleaned, pick up bridesmaid Meg at the train station, stop at the tux shop and then head down to Newport. Meet for the rehearsal around 1, then the girls go for mani-pedis. Then rehearsal dinner/welcome party at 6 p.m. I can't wait to start seeing all the guests then!!!

Saturday: Up not too early. Hair/makeup appointments around 1. Back for pictures starting at 3:30. Around 5 head over to reception venue. Six oclock get married. Then, party.

Sunday: Mom hosting a day after brunch for out of town guests. Go back to Boston with Meg and Troy... catch our flight to London!

Monday - Thursday: London.

Thursday- Friday: Chipping Camden.

Saturday: Liverpool.

Monday-Tuesday: Edinburgh. Fly home.

Then Paul McCartney when we get back!

I know I didn't get a chance to write too much about the shower but you can check out my album on facebook. Needless to say it was awesome, and I have the best bridesmaids in the world.

Not sure if I'll make it back to the blogosphere for a bit, but I plan on giving you the full recap when I get back!!!!!!!

Gave ya 20

2009-07-10T09:55:00.000-04:00

Well, here we are, faithful blog readers, 15 days away from... you know.

And I know I've left you on the edge of your seat in regards to my battle with the bulge. Last time we spoke, I was at a post-holiday weight of 154. I had started at 162, so down eight pounds, my goal was 137 -- aka 25 pounds total.

Well, I'm happy to say that I've progressed, and while I'm disappointed I'll fall short of that goal... 20 pounds lost is nothing to sneeze at!

I went to my first of five personal training sessions exactly five months ago -- in February. She took some stats at the first appointment, and we did an update today. Some changes after five months...

Weight (2/09/09): 152

Weight -- Today: 142

Difference: Ten pounds lost! It's tough, because I think when you have your heart set on a number (in my case -- 137) it's easy to feel disappointed in yourself. But every once in a while I have to say to myself, "Self, you've lost 20 pounds. That is NOT easy. Going to the gym 5-6 times a week is NOT easy." I'm also down from a tight size 10 to a super tight size six (haha) or a comfortable eight. Not too shabby.

Body Mass Index (2/09): 26.9. This was in the "overweight" zone of 25-29.9.

BMI today: 25.1. So close to "normal"!

Body Composition -- aka percentage of my body which is fat (2/09): 25.4 (this was in the moderate zone of 23.1-29.0)

Body Composition today: 22.8. This is under the header of "Optimal". 2.6% of my body fat is gone!

I tried to cobble together the best "Before and After" shots I could find.

The left is from May 25, 2008 -- the night we got engaged. The right is from June 27, 2009. I think you can tell the difference right?

This isn't going to end for me after the wedding. I really want my goal -- and beyond. 130 sounds really, really nice. And after you've lost 20 pounds, 10 or so more doesn't seem so bad, right?

For the people who like this stuff...

2009-07-06T09:55:00.000-04:00

Some wedding things we finished up and I'm proud of.

I'm marrying sort of a crafty guy. He knows his way around photoshop, can handle a pair of scissors, so when he told me he'd take care of the favors (CDs also posing as escort cards) I had faith he would produce something fantastic (just wasn't sure WHEN it would be done). Well he finally mocked up a prototype and needless to say, I'm quite proud!

The front.

The inside. The CD is laser-imprinted with some of our engagement photos and our wedding date, cool huh?

Here's the final track list, for those who are interested :)

1. Queen -- You're my Best Friend

2. Barry Louis Polisar -- All I Want is You

3. Arctic Monkeys -- Baby I'm Yours

4. Joshua Radin -- Only You (Our wedding song!)

5. Old 97's -- Question

6. Frankie Valli -- Can't Take My Eyes Off You

7. The Moths -- Wild Birds

8. Bob Dylan -- I Want You

9. Michael Jackson -- The Way You Make Me Feel

10. The Beatles -- Here, There, and Everywhere

11. Frank Sinatra -- The Way You Look Tonight

12. Jack Johnson -- Better Together

13. Alicia Keys -- No One

14. Neutral Milk Hotel -- In the Aeroplane Over The Sea

15. Marvin Gaye -- How Sweet it Is

16. US -- Can't Help Falling in Love

17. Belle & Sebastian -- Another Sunny Day

18. Al Green -- Let's Stay Together

19. Colin Hay -- I Just Don't Think I'll Ever Get Over You

20. The Beatles -- Something

21. Alanis Morissette -- Head Over Feet

22. Adam Sandler -- I Wanna Grow Old with You

23. Kenny Rodgers -- Through the Years

Also, what I like about these favors is that they have the person's name on it. So if at the end of the night, they leave them behind, I can come to their house and say "You didn't like my freaking favor?" and throw it in their face.

I think that would be good for Christmas time, don't you? No?

Other stuff done this weekend: wedding programs and menus. I can't claim any credit for the menus, which were masterminded and put together by the world's greatest Maid of Honor, Katie. The programs, also Katie's creation, were done in about 4 1/2 hours yesterday. By using materials we already had, as well as some free stuff I got on the sly, these two projects probably only cost $30? Maybe a little more for the print cartridge. They don't look super polished, but who cares? I like that comfy feel.

The terrible pics don't really do them justice, but a lot of you will see these in person in 19 days anyway!

Got this in my email the other day...

2009-07-02T15:33:00.001-04:00

Super stoked. Yay for extended honeymoon in Fenway!

It's my bachelorette and I can drink Mountain Dew at 9 a.m. if I want to

2009-06-28T12:46:00.014-04:00

Bachelorette party! Woooooo!

Well, I'm not really a 'woo!' girl, as the folks on 'How I met Your Mother' might say. So if you're expecting tales of drunken debauchary here, you'd probably be best served somewhere else.

I arrived in Boston around 1:30 after a haircut appointment and my first blow-dry-out in about 5 years (I really, really liked it. I miss my straight hair somedays). Before we headed out, I was made to put on the bride to be uniform.

My girl Katie sure loves her rosettes.

Meg also surprised me with my shower gift early: my Coach bag! Love it, love it, love it.

The invitation promised some "south of the border vertical fun" which was of course, confusing, and they weren't really giving me much in the way of hints. We left Meg's around 2 and headed to one of my favorite Boston restaurants: Cactus Club! I had a feeling south of the border was related to Mexican and it was.

We shared a quesidilla and all got margaritas. We chatted and the girls INSISTED we get another drink before we moved to phase II of the bachelorette. Actually the conversation went something like this.

Katie: We should DEFINITELY get another round.

(Katie, Meg, Sarah giggles).

Me: What are we doing?

(Katie, Meg, Sarah giggles).

Alrighty.

So we start the walk down Boylston street and the whole time Katie is giving me clues. (Hint: There won't be any guys there, Hint: There will only be five people in the room, Hint: I had to sign a waiver for us to do this.)

Helpful right? I went from thinking dance classes, to skydiving to who the heck knows what.

Well. I found out soon enough.

Now the pictures taken from phase II will never see the light of day. Let me just say I learned some moves that will surely have Jeff laughing at me for years to come. Also, my arms hurt. Also, I may have been wearing something that was red, white, and blue. Also, I may have gotten this certificate.

I think this is up there with a key to the city, but I'm not sure.

Suffice to say this was all a lot tamer than you're thinking it might be/could have been. And I can totally see how they make this into a workout. Basically we laughed the ENTIRE TIME, at each other, at our instructor, at the nine inch heels some of us were wearing and that even at my best attempt, I basically just looked like I was sliding down a fireman's pole. It was a blast!

After phase II, Katie said the rest of the night was basically up to me on what we wanted to do. None of us were really hungry yet (it was about 6:30 p.m.) at this point, and everyone seemed pretty wiped already! (I told you I can't hang). So I suggested we go see the 'Hangover' even though I had already seen it, two of the girls hadn't and it just seemed so appropos.

The girls loved it, and we then went to Fajitas and Ritas for more Mexican! The fajitas at that place are soooo good. We chatted til last call and headed back to Meg for more girl chat, which I can't get enough of sometimes. I'm definitely a guy's gal, but some of the things you talk about with your girlfriends will never translate to your guy friends.

We woke up this morning and headed over to Panera for some breakfast before bidding adieu. I'm so thankful and appreciative that I have such faboosh friends/bridesmaids. I really appreciate the thought and expense that went to my 'day'.

Thanks so much ladies!!!

Assclown of the day award goes to...

2009-06-25T19:44:00.006-04:00

Sometimes, a status pops up on facebook to make you embarrassed to be human.

Today is one of those days.

The sad thing is, I imagine that this kid (who I am immediately defriending for his idiocy) thought this was real clever. And apparently so did the morons who commented after him.

(Side note 1: My coworker hilariously suggested, before I defriend him, that I should post the name of the person who suggested the 'poll' as 'the next to die' and then immediately defriend him. Creepy, I like it!)

(Side note 2: Where do you get Mona from who's the boss?)

Somewhere out there.

2009-06-25T10:55:00.002-04:00

So I have 14 people who subscribe to this blog through google reader. I have an idea of who some of you are, but I really want to know who all of you are! Anyone who writes a blog knows that comments are what keeps you going, it's nice to know that people are reading. I don't care if we don't know each other, or knew each other a million years ago and you think I might think it's weird you're reading my blog, it's not, I swear!

According to my google analytics I have about 30 visits per day. I'd like to up that number! I know right now I'm not doing a great job building interest right now with the lack of posting, but after the wedding I'm committed to making this blog more interesting. Or at least interesting.

Looking at my map overlay, I see I am very popular in Rhode Island, South Carolina and New York, but who's my reader in Ithica? Come out with it! I also have a fairly loyal readers in Attleboro, MA, Northridge, CA, Cambridge, MA, Woburn, MA. Who's my Scranton, PA fan? Jim Halpert?

It's also fun to look at your traffic sources and well as the google words that bring people to your blog.

The following phrases have brought people to my blog in the previous month:

Ridiculous comparisons

Strangest Facebook

"Emily and Jeff" "Engagement pictures" "July"

Dodgers thong

Foreman grill "frozen beef patties"

I gained four pounds this weekend

Movies with Emily

I can't believe he's getting married

I've had some funnier phrases in the past, but these are pretty good. Anywhoo, I demand all loyal readers respond to this post, let me know who you are!

(This is not going to work, is it?)

I pack my case, I check my face

2009-06-23T22:36:00.007-04:00

Well, what's been going on?

I had this exchange with Jeff earlier today.

Me: "I'm at stress level nine."

(5 minutes go by)

Me: "I'm at stress level six."

Jeff: "That's good, before you were at stress level nine."

Me: "I don't remember saying that."

I think I'm having a little bit of a mental meltdown. Four hours of seating charts and crunching budgets on top of, you know, MY JOB and I'm starting to do that whole thing where you start sentences and you don't finish them. Then you forget you started them. Wedding dementia anyone?

No one wants to hear me stress about wedding planning, although I know my bride buddies can totally relate. It's really something you have to experience to "get it." I'm 32 days away and I can't believe it.

That being said, I'm trying to fill my weekends with as much de-stress activity as possible, so I planned a surprise for Jeff last Saturday where I took him up to Manchester, New Hampshire for a New Hampshire Fisher Cats game. The cool thing about the Fisher Cat stadium is the Hilton has a patio restaurant that backs right back on to center field. So Jeff and I were able to eat a really relaxed dinner (I even treated myself to a glass of wine) and watch baseball without buying a ticket. I knew it was Jeff's ideal Saturday and I think I was right!

The obligatory Emily and Jeff shot.

Our view.

This last picture is two people who sauntered out onto the RESTAURANT PATIO in their bathrobes. I'm assuming they had come from the pool and not, you know, the shower, but we'll never know.

Sunday we went down to what I deemed 'Rhode Island's Most Overrated Restaurant" (Twin Oaks) for Father's Day lunch. Well, I ate my words because I ordered the biggest lobster roll I've ever seen (seriously, twice as big as I've ever gotten anywhere else) and it was only $13. Best. Deal. Ever.

Coming this weekend: My bachelorette. I got an invite in the mail where Katie said there would be "south of the border vertical fun." I can only imagine what that means.

I'll try to keep it together until...

Honeymooooooooners

2009-06-15T15:00:00.002-04:00

(Editor's note: I ripped this straight from Jeff's blog. It's a guest post! He did such a good job explaining our honeymoon I thought I'd just steal it and repost it. Thanks babe!)

Brace yourself; I’m going to blog about something other than movies. Those of you who are my Facebook friends may have noticed a flurry of Honeymoon-related status messages.

For all of you scoring at home, there are only 40 days before what the press has dubbed the “Schaible-related Newport, RI social event of the season.” It’s very exciting.

The Plan (South to North):

(London to Chipping Campden to Liverpool to Edinburgh).

London, Liverpool and Edinburgh are all pretty self-explanatory. Chipping Campden is a small market town, part of the Cotswolds – an area characterized by its attractive villages, rolling hillsides and outstanding natural beauty… at least that’s what I’m told.

The Agenda:
London: All the touristy things… you know, ride the London Eye, dodge traffic at Abbey Road, visit Buckingham Palace and Big Ben, check out Shakespeare’s Old Globe, etc. Also, Emily and I have reservations at Gordon Ramsay’s place (remember: I proposed at his NYC restaurant), we have tickets to see Les Misérables and Emily’s pushing something called “high tea.”

Chipping Campden: This is supposed to be our “relaxation” portion of the honeymoon. We’ll be staying at a quaint bed and breakfast. We’ll explore the area, check out a few castles but generally, we’re going to just chill in the English countryside.

Liverpool: Rater than eating up a whole day of mooning with a drive straight to Scotland, we’re going to stop in Liverpool (home of legendary bands like The Coral, Frankie Goes to Hollywood and The Boo Radleys). We’ll be partaking in some Fab Four-inspired tourist traps, no doubt.

Edinburgh: Our final destination is Scotland’s capital city. We haven’t done too much planning for Edinburgh yet, other than booking our B&B (it’s centrally located). We’re going to be missing the world-renowned Edinburgh Festival by a week which is either really disappointing (it’s supposed to be awesome) or a great relief (apparently the population of the city more than triples), depending how you look at it.

I forgot to mention a source of much Werchadlo-anxiety… I’m going to be driving much of the journey. We pick up a rental car the last day in London and drop it off in Edinburgh. There are no guarantees but I’m hoping the vehicle looks a bit like this:

Yeah baby.

Hang ups

2009-06-12T09:30:00.008-04:00

I promised you some movie reviews and I strive not to disappoint my faithful readers. I'll run through the rentals first, since none of them were particularly impressive.

He's Just Not That Into You -- This was one of those movies that I totally wanted to see, but didn't want to admit it. It also came out in February and since Jeff and I saw 11 movies in January, I think we were feeling the $$ pinch of seeing that many movies in one month. I'm a sucker for movie with star power, and since I wasn't expecting too much, I actually sort of liked this movie? Was it revolutionary? No. But it was a good enough rom-com with lots of leading ladies. They heavily ripped off plots from SATC (not surprising) and there were plenty of stereotypes to go around, but it was good enough. (Side note: I feel like people are always saying Jennifer Anniston isn't a good actress, but I sort of like her style. She has a niche, and it's always some sort of offshoot of Rachel, but I enjoy her in movies. There, I said it.) Final Ranking: Just under Three Werschaibles.

The Day the Earth Stood Still: Bwahahahaha. We just HAD to watch this. Even if this movie didn't have the wooden acting of Keanu (which I actually don't mind, it's his thing, ya know?) it had wayyy too much crap going on to work. I won't even go into the plot because it was so ridiculous, there was absolutely NO suspense, it was just stupid. But this movie had no chance for me because you can't take John Hamm and Kyle Chandler out of the little TV world I have for them and put them in a movie about an alien invasion. I kept wanting Chandler to say, "Now, if we can get Riggins sober, I think we can run him right at this giant glowing orb and we actually have a chance to win this thing!" and Hamm saying, "It's your future. It's your past. It's all you never knew you wanted..." while showing a slideshow of the aliens. Am I right? Final Ranking: One and a half Werschaible.

Valkyerie and Miracle at St. Anna: Unimpressed and didn't finish. Not worth ranking.

Which brings me to the movie that's all the rage right now...

The Hangover.

It's funny, if I had written this right after I had seen it I might have written something different. I could easily put on my feminist cap and temper my humor about bitchy girls with glasses and hookers with a heart of gold and the use of the 'F' word (not that one, the one that relates to people), but ya know what, I'm going to let it go in the spirit of eye-rollers everywhere because this movie WAS really funny.

Zach Galifianakis was as good as everyone said he is. I had followed his "Between Two Ferns" short on Funny or Die (which you can check out here) so I knew he had the goods. Ed Helms I love from 'The Office' although I'm not sure he fit in here. Bradley Cooper was ... hot. Seriously, where did he come from? We'll come back to that.

This movie has kept me laughing in retrospect, and we'll definitely rent, if not buy this movie. Doesn't knock 'I Love You, Man' off the top of the comedy list for the year, but it's definitely up there.

Final Ranking: Three-and-a-half Werschaibles.

My love affair with Bradley Cooper throughout this movie got me thinking about my Top 5. Of course, my fellow blogger Jessica just touched on this topic on her lovely blog today, breaking it down list style, so I had to bring that over here. I really had to think about this! In Jessica's words "it hurts to narrow down, it does! these imaginary crushes!" Touche, Jessica, touche.

Let's get started. In no particular order.

1. Brandon Flowers -- I've touched on this before, but I definitely had to pencil in B-Flo as the musician on this list. Even if I didn't love the Killers so much, which I do, I think he'd still be here. You rock that eyeliner, girl, I don't hate it!

2. Tim Riggins -- er, Taylor Kitsch. He's so perfect on Friday Night Lights that I sometimes feel like he's a real person and I want to transfer to Dillon HS. No, that's not lame. Hey, shut up!

3. James Franco -- I never noticed him until I saw Milk and yeesh. He's like the new and improved Johnny Depp, who would have been an entry on this list a few years ago.

4. Tom Brady -- I know, I know. This is not helping my sports cred (What sports cred? Yes, thanks, I'll make that joke for you). And I know he's seems a little too perfect, a little too 'All-American' but I was in the interview room with him after the Patriots playoff game a few years ago, and let me tell you, he had everyone in that room charmed. I saw a few 40-year-old sports writers swoon. I'm serious. He's for real charming.

5. Bradley Cooper -- My top-5 always has a spot reserved for 'Guy I Find Hot Right Now." This is a fickle spot, but right now Cooper has it.

Jeff will probably be surprised not to see my man Brad Pitt on this list. It was a hard omission, it was. I fell in love with BP after watching 'Fight Club' and he's definitely honorary No. 6. It hurts to leave him off here.

Some other honorable mentions: The standards -- Clooney, DiCaprio, Depp. John Hamm, Josh Halloway. Robert Downey Jr. More that I'm sure I'll remember later.... Some offbeats: Michael Cera, Vince Vaughn, Jon Stewart.

Jessica reminds me that OF COURSE I have a true No. 1 and that's my husband to be (in 43 days). My future hubby is seriously good looking, and I say this all the time, he's even better looking now than when we first started dating. (He's going to kill me). I really am lucky... don't believe me?

Yeah, that's what I thought. So I'd love some comments on your top-5s but I believe I might be asking too much from my readers ;)

Nothing's gonna ever keep you down.

2009-06-11T22:28:00.004-04:00

I'm sorry. I've been lame. Why is it when you're sick it takes days to get back into your rhythm once you do feel better? Sick for a week and I'm so behind. Jeff and I haven't planned a dinner in so long, no date nights and thusly, no blogging. (Silver lining: that whole not eating while I was sick thing caused me to lose almost three pounds. Awesome?)

So anyways, blogs upcoming. We rented a bunch of movies during my sickness and we also managed to drag my carcass to see 'The Hangover' so I'll be sharing on those soon. I'd like to shout out to Jeff who was awesome during said sickness (my first illness in a couple of years) who got me food (that which I managed to choke down), medicine (at 7 a.m.) and brought me home flowers. And he let me use his blanket. He's the best.

Oh, and I'm getting married in 44 days. Say what?

Weekend in Review: Trail of tears

2009-06-01T14:58:00.005-04:00

It seems like I'm running out of weekends. I have seven left before the wedding, and it's starting to feel like they're all spoken for. This weekend was pretty lazy, but soon enough the wedding will be over and I'll sort of get my life back!

Friday night Jeff and I went to see UP.

***At the movies with Emily and Jeff: UP***

I'm not really into seeing these cartoon Pixar movies. Jeff did a little survey of the best Pixar movies, and I haven't seen most of them. I liked Wall-E last year though, so I was ready to give this one a try, based on the cute commercials. I didn't read a lot of reviews because it seemed pretty straightforward from the previews.

Before the movie started, Jeff turned to me and said. "This is a Disney movie. It's made for kids. If you cry, you're walking home." What did he know that I didn't?

Well, I cried. I cried within the first five minutes, for most of the movie and the car ride home. There's not much I can say about it where I'm not ruining it for people, and I know that it doesn't seem sad from the commercials.

Don't get me wrong, it's really funny and cute. It's a buddy movie with ups and downs and is sweet and heartwarming. And sad.

It doesn't have the political message Wall-E has, it's more the regular social messages Disney movies have had for years. Appreciate the things you have and the people around you, always make time for your dreams and it's never too late to achieve them, don't be a deadbeat dad...

It was great.

Final Ranking: Four Werschaibles.

Saturday I bought my shower dress (see below post) and Jeff and I rented Taken. I've never seen such a B-plus action movie devolved into an F-minus ending so quickly. Boooo.

On Sunday, Jeff and I went down to Rhode Island to have belated birthday hangs with my BFF Justin. We don't really need to have a plan to laugh, so I always feel relaxed when I'm with them. Some pics for pics sake (you think differently about taking pictures in relatively mundane situations when you blog.)

Pat and Andrew.

Justin and Jeff.

OH, and guess who I saw in Rhode Island at Whole Foods... Sabrina (yee of Rhodey Girl). Haven't seen this girl in forever. She looks great! We're getting married on the same day, in quite a coincidence, so we've been keeping touch (I know her since she dated BFF Andrew in HS). Nice seeing you Sabrina!

Next weekend will be busy busy: Dress fitting, hanging with Jeff's parents and possibly meeting up with the other three in my high school girl foursome (two of whom I haven't seen in YEARS). Stay tuned.

Shower dress!

2009-05-31T15:22:00.002-04:00

I know, I know. When did this tomboy who spends most of the week in pajamas start getting all girly? I don't know, but I promise this is the last dress post for a while.

It's from JCrew. It's really cute no?

Rehearsal Dinner Dress

2009-05-23T15:59:00.003-04:00

White House Black Market, on sale. I'm posting two of the same picture because I like how the dress looks in one, but it looks like I have a wonky eye. I'm posting the second to prove I don't actually have a wonky eye.

Thoughts? I love how it looks a little old-house-wifey/Joan Halloway. A girl can be a little retro sometimes right? (It's a little wrinkled because it came in the mail..)

The Dodgers re-introduce me to my small, female brain

2009-05-21T14:08:00.004-04:00

Good thing the Dodgers are introducing female-friendly broadcasts. I've always been too scared to ask questions about sports and baseball is so damn tough to figure out! Now they can explain to me the proper way to wear a pink hat, when to clap and the lady-like way to eat a hot dog (I guess we should probably stick to salads). Since I always have a tough time counting to three, good thing Jeanne Zelasko can help me along. It's like Sesame Street, but for adults! Well, not adults, just women. Our brains struggle to understand this hit and run thing.

Says Zelasko: "I like to look at our broadcast as we're not afraid to explain something most people might take for granted."

I can't tell you how many times Jeff has cornered me and told me I'm taking Base on Balls for granted. And thank God we have Zelasko to explain to us what the "six hole" is. Counting to six is almost twice as hard as counting to three!

I'm getting a headache. This has to be the stupidest sports idea since ... well, it's hard to remember significantly stupid moments in sports. My brain is too full of recipes for Chicken Tetrazini.

Did it occur to the Dodgers that women don't enjoy being pandered to? That having one of the best announcers in sports (Vin Scully) is a fine way to learn about baseball? That baseball isn't that flippin' hard to understand to begin with?!

What bothers me about this more than anything is the contempt it breads for female sports fans. Take a look at some of the comments.

Uh... Bad idea. There is nothing worse than listening to woman do male sports. Gymnastics ok....Ice skating fine..... Underwater basket weaving great...But baseball? Come on! Recently listened to a NBA basketball game with a woman commentator. Absolutely Terrible. It just doesn't work. Pa leeeeese NO!

****???? Why ?
Women already get to view athletic men , and fantasize about them..........Why do you have to cater to them with thi generict broadcast team??? Unless Zelasco is wearing a thong for us men to view.
What's in it for us men??? Are you going to show us more female underwear commercials, so 'we' can fantasize also???
It's a load, as far as I am concerned, and it's dumbing down the game..........

Fannnn-tastic. I'm all for more females in the booth, but there's no reason to start this trend off with the training wheels on. My guess is if someone, not necessarily a female, is interested in something but confused by it, they probably will just ask someone. Or look it up on the internet. Or read a book. Or keep watching so they'll learn. Revolutionary.

So, I'm clearly offended by this. And I'm sure most female baseball fans (there are a lot of them) will be as well. Certainly quite a few of my male fan friends piped in on this as well.

The way sports can become more female-friendly is not to treat that segment of the population any differently than the other. I've always believed that most women who don't watch sports don't because they were specifically made to feel like an outsider. Maybe by their father, or their boyfriend/husband or maybe even their mothers who didn't watch sports and therefore made her feel like it wasn't something she should be part of. I also suspect men who grew up in households where their mothers/sisters watched sports are more accepting.

I've been over this before. Sports is no more difficult to understand whether you are a man or a woman. While my trajectory as a sports fan started later than most, I don't feel badly about being a little behind. Who cares?

Blech. Your thoughts?

On the job

2009-05-20T21:53:00.007-04:00

This weekend was the annual blog summit at WWL headquarters. Last year it was a sort of awkward learning experience as none of us really knew each other or what we were doing. This year, after a year of joking around over e-mails, it was really like we finally all got to meet each other in person, even though we already have. I was a little nervous because I'm at least 60% more awkward in person than I am over the internet, where I can hide behind an avatar and interact with people while sitting in my pajamas.

But it was fun.

I don't mean to beat a dead horse, but I seriously feel so blessed that I not only have a job I love but I genuinely like the people I work with.

We all got in on Sunday night and headed out to dinner, both the college and NFL folk, and I found myself the only chicka at a table of 15 or so -- story of my life. (I'm not saying it's a big triumph or problem, but it's always sort of in the back of my head. I think I've learned to hold my own though.)

It was good QT to chat with people, a little about work and a little about ... whatever. Couldn't keep all my attention on the table as the Celtics were getting it handed to them in the background.

Monday was the conference and it was all positive stuff. Page views are awesome and everyone seems really pleased. We got a chance to go over some of the issues we've had over the year and sort of talk them out and I pitched something that we may or may not be seeing on this blogs this year. Stay tuned :)

Monday night was the highlight as everyone got together at my boss' Matt's house for a BBQ. Matt and his wife Sarah were gracious hosts who went above and beyond on the food and everything else. I had intended to snap a lot of photos but it didn't really happen. Here are a few.

AFC N blogger James and our gracious host Matt in the middle.

AFC S blogger Paul, class clown.

Brett (blog editor) and AFC E blogger Tim.

This doesn't really convey all the fun everyone was having, but it was seriously enjoyable. Makes you sort of sad it happens only once a year, like a high school reunion or something. I think we'll all of benefited from the in-person interaction.

Until next year...

Speak now or forever hold your peace

2009-05-16T19:25:00.012-04:00

Hair and make-up trial for the wedding was today.

This is me before. Do not be alarmed.

Aka how I look pretty much every day.

Below is with ma makeup done, hair in rollers.

With my couz/bridesmaid Sarah, who was nice enough to come!

Trying on makeup makes me so tired.

My thoughts: Overall, I'm really pleased. I'm really make-up shy and begged her not to go overboard on the foundation, that I didn't want to be caked in make-up and not look like myself. I'm a little taken aback by how dark the lipstick was, but I think that's just because I don't wear it -- I actually think it looks nice. I might go lighter on the eyes, but I haven't decided yet.

The hair: Also, overall really happy. She gave me exactly what I asked for. I think she did a better job on one side, but I think we'll fix that for the wedding.

So, what do you think? Now is the time to be honest, please don't be shy.