See you in another life, brutha

And my reign of clever blog post titles CONTINUES. Awwww yeah... nice. E-five!

What I'm going to do in this here blog post is do a bit of a "live blog" of the LOST finale. It's totally my thing, but you kind of knew that. And you're so glad you came. So come, waste a few minutes of your life with me. ::Takes off shoes, puts on sneakers::

8:05: I'm going to go get a fountain coke (oops, you'd have LOVED to know what I typed there by accident) from the Cumberland Farms up the road. Brb.

8:21: ::Sips coke:: (oh man, that typo would be really unfortunate there). Ah, something about a fountain coke that's better than a regular one, amirite? The sugar is concentrated! And what's the deal with those automatic flushing toilets? Wacky!

My options at the gas station for cups were, no joke, LARGE, LARGE and LARGE. This cup is heavier than a newborn baby. So DON'T YOU JUDGE ME! At least I wasn't there to buy cigarettes. Those things will kill ya. ::Pops peanut M&M::

Anyways, where were we? Ah, the LOST finale. I just want you to know, that while I'm not the biggest LOST superfan on planet Earth, I never wavered in my support of the show. Even in the finale stinks, it will still be one of the best shows ever on TV. That said, if the finale sucks, I may murder a stray cat, just to get a release.

8:27: "Tonight at 12, cure for food allergies in a shot glass of hookworms?" Um, pass.

8:42: They've just gotten to the recap of the Richard episode of this season. I say... second best regular season (non-finale) episode of the show. The episode where Charlie dies was probably the best. Hey, I'm just trying to make conversation here.

8:49: Ten minutes away! How's that for an update!

8:55: Worst job in show business -- John Locke's body double.

8:59: And aaaaawwwwwwayyyy we go!

9:00: Gahhhh we don't need more recap, just got on with it brutha!

9:08: I'm feeling the beginning already. They've stepped up everything, the acting, the scenery, the music, like they always do for finales. This exchange also took place between Jeff and I.

Me: "I think Jack is dying in this episode."

Jeff: "I agree." ::pause:: "You should get that prediction down. That way you can prove you predicted it. That's how predictions work." Predication.... made.

9:15: "What was this dog's name? Mitch? Buddy? Spot?" Oh hey, it's Rose and Bernard. Don't care, don't care, don't care. "Oh yes Desmond, you will." Not the best dialogue ever. We're 20 minutes in friends.

Am I the only one enjoying this NBA speech-autotune commercials? I think they're creative. Jeff thinks they're awful. Thoughts? Leave them in the comments. Or just speak directly at the screen. It's the thought that counts.

9:21: Miles and Richard. Two characters I do care about, yet completely forgot about coming into this finale. Yikes, they have a lot of loose ends here.

9:24: Oh hai, Juliet.

9:25: I never get any cool flashbacks. I only get very specific hunger cravings. My life sucks.

9:27: "I can access your mind... through your dreams." Not now, "Inception" trailer. I can't handle. Wait your turn to scramble my brain please.

9:36: Oooooh! Jack v. Smoke Monster. Royal Rumble.

The thing is.... Jack is ALWAYS wrong. They've pretty much established that as a given this entire series. So... will tonight be different? Will pigs fly? Will hell freeze over? And who said you could finish all the peanut M&Ms BRO?

9:40: Juliet is the MOM. I did not see that .... well, yeah I kinda did. And what divorced people get along that well? This really is a sideways world! (See... see what I did there?)

9:46: Speaking of "seeing what you did there" .... bravo Target. Advertising works, kids.

9:48: I just got choked up because I'm honestly going miss Hurley on TV.

Shannon and Sayid: Goosebumps. Hello, beautiful people. Ridiculously beautiful people.

9:53: Finale definitely not letting me down so far. It's moving along at a good pace. I'm actually starting to get sad it's almost over. Also not letting me down: Twitter trending "Smoke Monster" right under "Craig Sager." If the smoke monster had taken the shape of Craig Sager, this would have been a much different show.

10:00: I never get invited to swank parties to benefit Natural History Museums. I don't think I've ever been to a Natural History Museum period. I don't even know what natural history means! My life sucks.

10:03: What just happened, what just happened, what just happened?! Jack is wrong again?!? What just happened, what just happened, what just happened?! OR IS HE?!

Jacob chose... poorly. And now the island is going to rapidly age and blow into dust!

I just told my coworker Chris, on the West coast, that "things just got gully." I brought that word back from a past life. I shall now beat it into the ground over the next few weeks, kthx.

10:12: I sure hope when the day comes, and I have to deliver a baby, the labor lasts 5 minutes and I push three times. #ThingsImWillingToOverlook. Oh, is this not Twitter?

10:18: Words failing me. They're really bringing it. Halfway through mon freres.

10:23: "Now it's Creed! Now Balboa!" And yes, I got that spear in the side Biblical reference, LOST. You can't put one past ol' Emily, nosireebob. HATED Kate's line, LIKED (didn't LOVE) that she was the one to kill him. Kinda.

10:28: This live blog has really fallen apart, eh? Tonight, a friend of mine used the word "ill-conceived" to describe me. Right... what kind of description is that? One hour left!

10:33: "See me where?" That's what I want to know!! Where are they going? Am I invited? No? I'm not? Why not? What's wrong with the way I dress? You don't have to be that way about it.

10:36: "Tell me I'm going to see you again." Oh, I'll tell you... WITH MY TONGUE.

10:45: "Did we live together in the 70s?" -- Line courtesy of my husband.

10:48: LOST: Making finale clip shows WORK.

10:57: They're really packing a punch emotionally, eh? "I'll see you in another life, brutha!" Whammo! The rest of this blog is just going to be me making sound effects.

11:05: You know, I don't know what the light is but I don't really care. This show is just so yummy.

10:12: Michael Emerson, one of the best actors on TV, period. Hope he lands somewhere. AND WHERE ARE THEY GOING?

10:15: 15 minutes and LOST is DONE. Sad face.

11:18: Is this like Cocoon? Where they gather up the old people about leaving and they all turn into glowing orbs and float into the sky? Is that Cocoon? That seems wrong. Hell if I know.

11:26: Tears, tears!

11:27: Hate to interrupt the tears, but seems pretty glaring they left out Walt and Michael from this little shindig!

11:30: Speechless. Give me time to digest.

OK, I did. Best finale ever.

Til the End of Time

O-M-F-G, who does NOT want another LOST recap? Come on, raise your hands?!

Put your hands down losers, I can't flippin' see you.

I went down to Rhode Island Tuesday night to my boy (can girls say that? Survey says: yes) Justin's house to watch LOST with my other boy, Drew. It's been a while since my boys (see: death, horse beating) and I got together, just the three of us. Don't get me wrong, I love my husband. I know, weird right? but worth repeating. And I love Drew's girl (not as much as my husband, but I think she understands). But it was nice having it be just the three of us. Same sense of humor, same reference points, general comfortability and relaxationilization. (And if Justin is reading this, he's rolling his eyes, and if Drew is reading it, he's smirking and thinking of something smart to say -- thanks for reading guys!)

Anyways we were all fist-pumpingly excited for the LOST premiere. We settled into Justin's abnormally clean apartment. I had a sandwich, Andrew had a four pound bag of cookies. For the first time in a while, I hadn't spoiled myself for the season premiere. Honestly, I didn't have the TIME. So I was going into this cold turkey.

After watching Juliette's "fall" three times in about 10 minutes, we were finally ready to start. Eye opens, Kate's in a tree, we're ready to go.

I'm not going to synopsize the whole episode, we'll break it down bullet-style.

Things I liked:

• The nice little interaction between Jack and Locke in the lost luggage room. Old school Locke. Can't we all just get along? Turns out we can!

Hmmm... that was pretty much it.

Things I didn't like:

• The death of Juliette was epically cheesy. Nevermind she survived the fall -- fine. And then lived to hang out for a while after the bomb exploded. But then to die in such an epically cheesy way. (Quote of the night to Andrew: "Didn't she know she was going to die when she started that sentence? Maybe she should have skipped the first part.") It reminded me a little of the all-time lamest death I've ever seen on screen -- Trinity's death in the third Matrix movie. She spent about 25 minutes punctured by about half a dozen steel rods. If I had been the kind of person who does things like that, I would have yelled at the movie screen Elaine-style, "Just DIE already!!" Anyways, Juliette's death reminded me of that.
• The temple people. Every LOST fan on planet earth was saying, "Nooooo! No more new characters PLEASE!" And then to have it be sooo corny. Oh, of COURSE the guy in charge is an Asian guy with a fu-manchu who hates Americans and has -- wait for it -- kick-ass karate skills! And he likes prune plants. And wear leather vests. I'm not sure the last one is an Asian stereotype but regardless, it was cornball.

Those were my two biggest beefs. I don't like it when LOST goes cheesy.

At every commercial break Justin would express his disappointment. ("9:43 and I'm not impressed.... 10:27 and I think there will be bad reviews tomorrow!) Andrew and I fought him until the end when I think we kind of agreed with his assessment.

Theories:

I have none. I think this work week was too busy for me to properly process this episode. They've established these are parallel universes and these are flash-sideways but the fact of the matter is I just wanted them to PICK ONE. And if they weren't going to pick one, I wanted to see what would happen if the plane never crashed -- and we didn't even see that. There was something off about the present day non-crash scenario.

Sigh.

Of course I haven't given up. But this episode didn't knock me out of the park. The season premiere's of LOST usually don't though -- it's the finales where they blow me away. I give this episode of a 4 out of 10.

We can do better.

Just because

I have a blog in mind for later, I swear, but for now I just need to have this on my blog.

Two weeks ago, Mad Men was craaaazy good. Best episode yet. Last night? Eh. I know it's setting up next week's finale, but I was bored. Betty has absolutely no chemistry with that old dude, Duck just makes me want to yack. I liked the JFK subplot, but I hated the romantic storylines. Also, as we can see from the above picture, there HAS to be more Joan. She needs to be back at Sterling-Cooper PLEASE.

Still: Best show on TV.

LOST finale!

Woa. Just.... woa.

While I know my better half is cooling on this show, last night's finale was my favorite episode ever, just beating out Season 3's fast-forward finale and greatly improving on last season's "donkey wheel" finale.

I got tingles at the opening scene, considering how ambiguous it was, you knew it had to be important. Normally, my reaction would have been, "Why are we introducing MORE people AGAIN!" but the convo was so heavy handed you knew these weren't just minor characters destined to die in an insignificant way... especially when the name "Jacob" was dropped. 

I've seen a lot of Cain and Abel comparisons, and Jeff picked up on the "black shirt/white shirt" thing before me. But MY THEORY is definitely more of a Satan/God parallel. I mean, they're not going to come out and SAY that ever -- maybe they are just the God/Satan of the island. But in the old testament, Satan and God were always "playing games" with each other, so that's what I'm going with now. (Also like the theory I saw about Richard being on the ship in the distance.) 

But can Jacob really be Godlike? I've seen a lot of reviews this morning talking about how he jumped in and laid a comforting thought or hand or pen to every Lostie, but what about Sayid? Did Jacob cause the death of Nadia, or stop Sayid from being killed as well? Either way, Jacob knew Nadia would die, and wouldn't that be more indicative of something self-serving than a God-like action? Bah! (Also of note: Jacob was NOT in Juliette's flashback).

But if they aren't Satan and God, they're another science vs. fate coupling in the long Lost tradition: Jack vs. Locke, then Jack (on the fate side) vs. Sawyer (it wouldn't be Lost if someone wasn't being brutally punched in the face right?). It's always been the central argument of the show hasn't it? As of the finale, most of the characters believed that you CAN change the future, hence everyone changing their mind at the last minute to blow up the island and hope we start back at zero. "See you in LA."

I love how they threw in that gut-punch of Miles saying "What if we are the incident?" No doubt, they wanted us to agonize over that statement. However MY THEORY is no, that's not the incident. I don't say that with complete confidence though. I don't see how that could tie back into Dr. Chang's videos. The whole "incident" scene started to feel a little like a bad sci-fi movie at some points and I condemn fervent Losties for scoffing at Juliette's re-awakening. Of course they're not saying "Yeah, she survived, no biggie." That bomb was supposed to go off on impact, it didn't and then chains from nowhere wrap around Juliette's waist and she's plunging into the abyss. Like, duh, it was supposed to happen. Course correction. 

Jeff also picked up on Locke, not being Locke but being "Who dat Locke?" before me. MY THEORY is that "Who dat Locke" has been every apparition ever seen on the Island. Jack's dad, Hurley's imaginary friend, the black horse, BEN'S DAUGHTER. Satan is a well known shape-shifter (Jesus in the dessert anyone?) and although it's far out, it makes more sense then dead people actually BEING there right?

I like how they re-introduced Rose and Bernard and let them say what the audience was thinking: When will this ever end? Why are you doing this? In essence, who cares, have you ever done any good? It goes back to the conversation from the beginning, the eternal series: 

Who dat Locke: They come, they fight, they destroy, they corrupt. It always ends the same.
JACOB: It can only end once. Everything before that is progress.

It kind of trivializes our investment in the show to know this is something that has repeated over and over, and that our Losties aren't special.

Speaking of not being special, we get to Ben. MY THEORY is Ben knows EXACTLY what is going on, knows he's supposed to kill Jacob, knows killing Jacob would not ACTUALLY kill him. It seemed like "Who dat Locke" knew he was being played after Jacob said "They're coming," hence why he angrily kicked him into the fire. If Ben isn't in on it, Jacob definitely knew what was going to happen to him. I mean, of all the things Jacob could have said when Ben demanded to know why he wasn't special, wasn't "(Pause) What about you?" just akin to running straight into the knife? Also: my favorite line on Lost ever. Seriously rocked my world.

And who is Ilana? Is she an original Islander as well? Some people said they were speaking Latin, so, um, what's that about? She did call Richard "Ricardus." And what is this "candidacy." Is this some sort of Island-protection clan, like those who protected the Arc of the Covenant or the old knight who protected the Holy Grail in The Last Crusade? She definitely had a "I'll give my life to the cause" vibe. 

So what next? Losties start from scratch, become better people? Will "progress" have been made? I mean, it had to have happened right... the bomb exploded, I feel certain that they're not all just dead and that's that. But if they reset in time, do they lose their memories? That has not happened at any point in all the time traveling so far. They always ... remember. But will the Losties dead and gone (Charlie, Claire) remember? Will they get together at barbeques? Won't Locke ALWAYS be trying to go back? And what about Widmore? What's his role in all of this? WHO'S SIDE IS EVERYONE ON??

Whooo. That was fun. What are your thoughts my Lost compadres?

I liked it.

Couple things, couple things.

First of all, I am very pleased to say we finally bought Jeff's wedding ring today! For some reason that I can't quite explain without sounding possessive or barfy, this was one of the things I was looking forward to the most. Just seeing Jeff with a ring on ... it made me smile, a lot. I'm sure brides-to-be can relate and perhaps the grooms as well. 

Anyways, here's a blurry pic.

We decided to go with a Tungsten ring. I had never heard of Tungsten before, but our friend Paul from California had one and I thought it was pretty sharp-looking. Obviously, it's not as fancy as platinum or gold, and I asked Jeff several times if he minded a 'cheaper' metal, and he said he didn't. The ring does have a nice shine though, and it will never scratch, and anyone who's seen the face of Jeff's watch knows that's important. Oh, and it was a good price too. We were in the store for about five minutes and it was decision, done.

***

A few nights ago I had a mini-panic attack (as I sometimes do) about our honeymoon ... specifically the driving aspect of it. To remind you, we're driving from London, to the Cotswolds (about 45 minutes) to Liverpool (about 2 hours) to Edinburgh (about 4 hours). I was up one night thinking, "Can we really pull this off? Can we handle driving on the other side of the road without crashing? What if we get lost? Will our cellphones work?" So I woke Jeff up at 1:30 in the morning and ... well, he wasn't having any of it. I talked to my mom the next day as well and she talked me off the edge. A good rule of thumb I've had in my life is that if my mom isn't worried about something, it's not something to be worried about. And it would have cost us $500 to change our flights. So we've officially rented the car.

Now that the honeymoon has been almost entirely booked, it's time to think about what we'll do each day. This is the fun part. There's the Tower of London, the London Eye, Buckingham Palace, Harrod's, etc. Then we want to hit up one of Gordon Ramsay's restaurants and possibly do "High Tea" somewhere. And ever since that YouTube clip, yeah, you know which YouTube clip I'm talking about, reminded me how much I LOVED Les Miserables, I think we're going to see that as well. It originated in London and is my absolute favorite musical. I know some of you are rolling your eyes, but if you sit through a showing of Les Mis and are not moved by the end, you have no soul. Seriously, the first time I saw it, I spent the 20 minutes after it ended bawling. It was ... embarrassing. Though, not as embarrassing as the time it happened when I went to see Pearl Harbor in High School (must have been a bad week.)

It's going to be a lot to pack into a few days but I hope to make the most of it!

****

Friday Night Lights. Yeah, I know, all but two of you are tired of hearing about it. But we've finished all available episodes and are caught up, and I'm hooked. And I've officially made Jeff jealous with all my fawning over Tim Riggins (which has juiced me up at least 20% to see the new Wolverine movie. I had no idea he was playing Gambit, my favorite X-Men character as a child. But heck, I'm on board now. Tim Riggins can do no wrong.)

But what next?!?! They can't play this like Saved by the Bell right? I hate to harken back to it, but Dawson's Creek played this really well and I think they can follow that as a guideline. But Tim's in San Antonio, Matt's supposed to be in Chicago, Tyra's at UT and Lyla's at Vanderbilt... and coach is in East Dillon?! Oh man, it's nutty.  

TV on DVD with Jeff and Emily: Friday Night Lights

It's a new feature! Jeff and I often find TV shows we never watched a give them a shot all the way through. Since I've gotten glowing recommendations from two of my favorite bloggers Steve and Jessica about Friday Night Lights, Jeff and I decided to give it a try. Below is my review through about the first quarter of the first season.

I am so glad I didn't go to a high school like Dillon High School. Where would I be today? Slapping bubble gum, primping my hair and obsessing over a man past his peak, no doubt. I can't even imagine attending a high school like this. My school was no where close to this. Our football team sucked. The cheerleaders were ... not the prettiest girls in school (I was one as a freshman, so I feel OK saying this). We didn't have any jocks, I don't even know anyone from our school who got a scholarship for any sport. You get the idea.

That being said, I get that's how it is in Texas. People obsess over football, in an unhealthy way. There's a lot of pressure on these kids. I don't have to like it, but it's the truth. 

I'm one of those people who can't get past reality when watching a TV show or movie, at least not right away. So for me to enjoy  Friday Night Lights I have to accept the above, plus the following.

1. The fact that all the actors are in their mid-20s and playing high schoolers. That stuff cracks me up.

2. I've covered maybe a 100 high school football games in my lifetime. Do you know how many came down to the last play? Three? And usually it's the team that's down that's got the ball with a chance in hell to tie... and they throw a pick. The average score of a high school football game is usually like 47-3. Seriously. But all of Dillon's first three games came down to the last play. At least they'd be worth the price of admission.

3. Everybody's gorgeous. Again, not my high school, but maybe that's a good thing.

On top of that, the torrid love affairs between these high schoolers rings false to me. Sure, there was always drama in high school, but ... come on. The coach and his wife have very realistic fights, over not planning for parties, not having time for each other, but these high schools are REDONKULOUS. Also, every adult character on this show, aside from the coach and his wife, are EXTREMELY unlikeable. Over the top, obnoxious dirt bags.

But of course you know this is my favorite writing tool. Give you the bad news first. 

I am enjoying it. I liked the movie (and I think Billy Bob Thorton was really good in that, better than the coach here). I'm wondering if this show is suffering for me because I'm watching the episodes back to back in a short series of time so they run a little bit together. And the writing could be better. But the acting is good, its directed well, and it rings true in a lot of ways. The relationship between the coach and his wife is the heartbeat of the show. If they can sustain this story line and not have it play out like Saved by the Bell (exactly how many senior proms can one person have?) then I'll be impressed. I just saw that they added two more seasons on top of the first three. So far, I'm in. 

Jeff's thoughts: "Steve was right. I'm enjoying it thoroughly with the exception of the blonde girl."

Werschaible ranking: I'll let you know.

I mean, is it just me?

Girls, just me? LOST fans, come on!

File under: "Possibly added to the top 5?" and "Guys I like better when they blow-dry and straighten"

Re: Last night's LOST -- now what?!?!

Chick-cow Chick-cow!

I think Seinfeld is hands-down the funniest show of all time.

I think Arrested Development and 30 Rock are the closest competitors.

Note: I'm not including Extras or The (British) Office in this because there were only 12 episodes and a special of each and well, that's not fair. Shows slip, they don't usually gain momentum. But if I was boiling it down to just 12, these two shows would be head to head with Seinfeld.

I've seen every episode of Seinfeld at least 25 times, save for a few that they don't show that often. Some of them, definitely more. I know most of the words to the entire show... the entire series. I frequently drop Seinfeld-isms into my daily life, which is, ironically one of my biggest peeves with other people. But come on, it's Seinfeld!

There was only one truly terrible episode of Seinfeld (the finale) and a few that I don't really enjoy, mostly in the earlier seasons. My favorite episode of all time is the one with the Merv Griffin show ("It's not a pet. It's a wild invalid. And it knows that I tried to kill it. As soon as it gets better, it's gonna gnaw my brain out in my sleep.") I probably have watched at least one episode a day for 10 years. That's sort of crazy huh?

It's funny that a show that ended when I was a freshman in high school is still so funny to me. I occasionally watch Cheers re-runs, and while it was a great show, it doesn't really make me laugh. Of course there was a lot more melodrama there, so it will probably rest with The (American) Office in 10 years.

I've heard a lot of people question how well 30 Rock will hold up over time since it has so many current cultural references. It's a fair point. Before this last week's episode I thought it was starting to slip -- but I was laughing again. Out loud. (Always the mark of a good show. I don't want to chuckle. I want tears in my eyes. Otherwise you're just wasting time right? And I never do that ...)

Jeff and I are currently running through Arrested Development. We only have the finale left. It's hilarious of course, but again, slipped in the third season. The whole story line with Charlize Theron was stupid (no pun intended.) I'm still crossing my fingers for a movie version to be made, if only to further my crush on Michael Cera.

Really good comedies are so rare. Why is that? Why are good comedies so hard to find, to sustain? Of course it's because it's harder to write funny than to write serious. I've tried to be funny in this space many a time and failed miserably.

Like many "writers" I'd love to write a funny script one day, either for a show or a movie. Never gonna happen, but fun to dream. The Boston Globe sports section would be a perfect backdrop. It's amazing how many characters there were at 25 or so desks. Most of the college kids that worked there had great senses of humor, and others were perfect fodder. If I ever had the opportunity to write something, I'd definitely draft from that group.

Of course, they already made "My Boys" so I'm probably out of luck.

It's been a long time, shouldn't have left you, without a dope LOST to step to...

LOST.

Wooooooshhhhhh.

Didn't I just set the scene there? It goes better if you slowly cock your head to the side.

I went down to Rhodey last night to watch the premiere of LOST. (Yes, always in caps because it's that major of a show.) With Jeff on what feels like the longest business trip of all time, I couldn't watch it alone. Who would I go "What the .... ?" too?

I couldn't have had better company. My best friends Andrew and Justin are LOST-philes just like me (I got them both into it, whether they admit it or not). We ate dinner at Whole Foods, well, Andrew and I ate, Justin scoffed at our "health food." He went to Spikes. Then over to Andrew's house to sit in a cold, dark den and watch a huge TV.

We watched the entire preview special, a 1-pound bag of M&Ms to keep us company. (We ate the whole damn thing, but I don't THINK I ate a third).

Some of you might know that I was EXTREMELY underwhelmed by the season 4 finale. Probably because I read the entire thing online about a week and a half before. My major problems were two-fold 1.) You move the island with a frozen donkey wheel? Shut the heck up. and 2.) What, they're gonna resurrect John Locke? Not cool. I may not be that religious, but I have a problem with that allegory.

That being said, I super loved the premiere. Things I liked:

1. Sawyer, shirtless. Yeah, don't need to say much more there do I?

2. Daniel Farraday and his soap-style acting. His lines were so over-the-top and he was obviously expected to deliver the episode's biggest lines, and he did with John Black-style aplomb.

3. Someone from 'the people we don't care about' dying. I don't even remember his name and was it important? You knew that once he started talking smack to Sawyer he was a goner. The group pondered how he was die (I thought shark-attack, Darma shark anyone?) but flaming arrows while he screamed 'Fire!' were much, much better.

4. I loved the scene between Hurley and his mom "I believe you... I don't understand you, but I believe you." Awesome. Also, bonus points for any episode where Cheech Marin is involved.

5. Time travel. I've heard some people scoff at this, but I love it. I suspect they're going to be traveling through time for quite a few episodes. Old characters are going to be reappearing, disappearing, causing drama, and no doubt breaking hearts all over again. Love it. 

People are disappointed because they want LOST to be more science than Sci-Fi. Well, let me let you in on a secret. Lost writers are just that ... writers. Stephen Hawking doesn't have a writing credit on this show. It's pure fantasy. Just go along with it. We're all on this string together. ;)

Overall I thought the premiere was predictable, yet unpredictable at the same time. We're left with plenty of questions, no real new answers. We've got Desmond and Ben on a mission, which is awesome. We've got the Oceanic 6 back together. And I suspect, and I hope, that they're going to have to tell us how exactly to get to the island in an upcoming episode, and I'm hoping it doesn't involve a submarine.

Thoughts? I know most of my readers watch this one!

Confessions of a TV addict.

Most people who know me know how much I love TV. Seriously, I'm one personal Dunkin Donuts in my kitchen away from never leaving the house. But there are some things I need to get off my chest...

MAD MEN

Jeff rented the first DVD the other day, even though we hadn't really discussed it (I say that, because when Jeff chooses a DVD without me, bad things happen. See: Cape Fear, 27 Dresses and Running with Scissors). I had tuned in for about 15 minutes of this show sometime last year, and it didn't interest me much, but I thought I'd give it another go.

Fifteen minutes in, my skin was crawling and I was asking my friend Steve online "Why shouldn't I break this DVD in half?" while Jeff was insisting "It's a period piece!" 

Look, I know how it was for women in the 1960s, but that doesn't mean I enjoy thinking how awful it was back then. I remember my mom telling me growing up that she had three options for work: 1. Teacher. 2. Secretary and 3. Nurse. Now, clearly nothing wrong with those professions, what's wrong here is the lack of choice. 

Sure, they give some women on here a brain, but to what extent? 

Joan -- Hot red headed secretary who I'm pretty sure has Jeff drooling every time she's on screen (he has a thing for redheads that he better KEEP TO HIMSELF). She's quick witted, but her ahead-of-the-times behavior only seems to extend to her social/sexual life. Oh, and she sleeps a married man, who is also her boss. Can't say I look up to that.

Peggy -- Cute (?) new secretary. She seems like she has her wits about her, but it takes her a whole day before she makes a move on her boss and sleeps with her soon-to-be-married coworker. In the last episode I watched, she said some bright things that might lead to a short copywriting position, which her bosses said "was like watching a dog playing the piano." Grrr.

Betty -- Don Draper (main guy's) wife. I actually like her the best, despite the fact that she plays into most of the stereotypes. She at least reads as a real person to me, not a cartoon character.

The off-the-cuff comments extend past sexism to racism as well, and Steve playfully pointed out to me that I watch plenty of violence and don't get up in arms, but I guess this just rubs me the wrong way. 

That being said ....

I do like the show and am into it. The acting is good, the chemistry between characters is good, I like the subject matter of working in an ad agency. I love the clothes and costumes on both the men and women. It's a good show, no doubt, and it's not the show's fault that "that's how things were." I'm sure it's an accurate, if not generous, description of the times.

But that doesn't mean I should brush it all aside and ignore and say, "ah well... it's just TV." We still have a long way to go.

::Steps off soap box::

THE HILLS

How do you like THAT transition? OK, confession time.

I watch the Hills. I WATCH the Hills. I watch the HILLS. My name is Emily and I WATCH THE HILLS.

I feel better. 

Look, I know it's a stupid show. It's beyond stupid. It's absolutely vapid. There is no merit, boring repeated storylines, terrible dialogue and dead-behind the eyes (thank you Joel McHale) characters. (Side note: Is Stephanie the least interesting reality show character of all time or is it just me?)

So why do I watch it? I don't KNOW! I mean, I don't tune in when it's on, because Jeff wouldn't stand for it. I usually catch it the next day or a few days later. Maybe it's my addiction to gossip sites (no better) that fuels a mild interest. 

Maybe I secretly enjoy the clothes and atmosphere of LA. It can't be because I like any of the people, because I don't. Maybe I watch it just to hate on them, which makes me feel even worse about it.

I don't know. I'm sure the show will be over in the next two years, and then the main players in the tabloids for a few more, then everyone, including me, will lose interest.

Until then.

HG TV

I have been watching an inordinate amount of HG TV lately. Jeff had been watching it for a while, usually Saturday and Sunday morning before I woke up. Eventually, I caught on. 

Our favorites are House Hunters, My First Home, Property Virgins (don't know the difference really between the last two), My House is Worth What?, My Big Fat Renovation, Designed to Sell, Buy this House, and Hidden Potential.

Yeah, it's quite the slate.

So when and why did this happen? I can't help but feel like it's a side-effect of getting old (did we start around my 25th birthday Jeff?) I mean, with wedding comes house hopefully. We both hate renting, but we sure as heck aren't designers or renovators. We're more likely to end up on Clean House then My Big Fat Renovation.

I'm not creative with design or handy. I am at least two years from purchasing a home. So I don't know. I'm not saying only old people watch these shows, I just would love to identify WHY I enjoy them so much, and so many!

****

So what TV do you watch that you can't understand exactly WHY you like them? I can't be the only one who is ashamed/astonished by what they watch. Spill the beans! Come out of the woodwork! Tell me I'm not alone!

Dog Days

With the Summer Olympics over and still almost a month until new tv starts, I find myself bored with regular television and reverting to some series I've missed over time ...

The first is the TV show, "Intervention." It's on A&E, and you've probably heard about it considering it's one of the most 'talked about' shows on television (says Werschaible Monthly!) I got sucked into it one night at 1 a.m. It was an episode about a crack addict. He had once been a world-class bike rider, even making it onto the US Postal Service Team (of Lance Armstrong fame). Then, ironically, he got kicked off the team for acting unprofessional to King Lance, and there went the downfall ... At the beginning of the show, he's living on the street, doing crack 7 times a day. The show follows him, then stages an intervention with his friends and family. He initially refuses, but concedes to go to rehab, and turns up 3 months later much better.

It was a pretty emotional episode, I thought, then I watched some other ones. I feel like I have a lump in my throat through most of these shows. One of my personal mantras is that every person has an addiction -- it's not always drugs, or alcohol, or gambling. Sometimes it's food (me), cheating, lying, debt. I bet if you really thought about it, you have an addiction too, one that either is, or could be, destructive to you. 

And while I don't have any drug addicts or alcoholics in my family/friends, I do have those addicted to food and gambling and cheating and spending money. And during their worst times, they remind me of these people. How hard it is to get through to them. Just makes you think ...

Anyways, it's good TV. I'm always rooting for the person to succeed, and not just for the cameras.

****

Jeff is a big fan of renting TV series and watching them on DVD. Past series have included: Arrested Development, Six Feet Under, Nip/Tuck, The Office (first season), etc. We also rented the last series of Dexter, which was a little disturbing, but good. We just rented the first disc of the second season tonight.

Concurrently, we just started watching Deadwood, aka a show my mom would hate. I'm not too high on it, although I think it's OK. I can't help but somewhat dislike shows where women are cast as secondary characters, even when the time period dictates it (in this case the late 1800s). Doesn't keep my interest all that much. As of the first 5 episodes we have three central female characters: One's a prostitute, one's a drug addict and one's a moron. Not exactly a lot to look upon.

Plus all the swearing is a little distracting. IMDB trivia states "The word "f***" and its derivatives are used 2,980 times throughout the series. There are 36 episodes total, which means the f-word is used about 82 an episode, or a little more than once a minute. I would say the word "c***sucker" is used just about as much, and they're pretty liberal with the other C word. (Hence why my mom would hate this show.)

Watching the fourth episode I turned to Jeff and said, "Did they REALLY swear this much back then?" He paused, then said, "How would I know?"

You ... you wanna be friends?

I liked the first comment under this video: They should have a reality show where the goal IS to make friends. 

Project Runway Season 5 Premiere Live (kinda) Blog!

In the interest of full disclosure, I've seen this once before I've written this blog. I was able to fit in Project Runway and the gym in one sweaty, fierce hour. But let's be honest... did you really think I wasn't going to watch the show again when it repeated an hour later? (Right now my mom is sighing, "Oh Emily, get a life" -- yes my mother would really say that ;) But I like to write, so I am still going to write this pretending I don't already know what happens.

I didn't get to experience PR round 1 with Jeff as he wimped out and played B-ball. But he sure is excited this time around ... wait, where is he? Get out of the shower! Finally a show we can both relate to on an emotional level and you think showering is more important? As if!

Onto the live blog!

10:59: Watching the end of Shear Genuis, which is one step above unwatchable in my book. Notice I said one step. Hey, it's a slow summer.

11:00: The first designer we meet is Terrell's chest. Oh, I mean, Terrell the former model, current designer for Saudi royals. That's quite the gig. I edit blogs for royal pain in the asses. Bada-bing! I'll be here all night.

11:01: "I have a ridiculous obsession with tanning." Moments later Blayne reveals he's from Seattle. Well, then I can't really blame you. But you work at a coffee shop? How did you get on this show? Not impressed.

11:02: Jerry Tam. I like this guy right off. "I'm on the forefront of being a big name in the industry." Yeah, um, so am I. To borrow a line from fellow designer Kelli, "I'm like if the designers from K-Mart and Dick's Sporting Goods had a baby."

11:04: Joe, this season's token straight guy. He makes sure we know he's straight by mentioning his daughters right off the bat. And growing a goatee. I forsee an elimination in Episode 8. 

11:05: Is there some sort of rule that the designers have to stand 20 feet away from Hiedi? Tim gives a rousing rooftop speech, complete with two fist pumps. I think that's the first time his wrist has seen daylight since 2001. (By the way, is Tim Gunn Red Sox owner John Henry's gay brother? Consider with the picture on the right.)

11:07: Kenley. Faux-retro or genuine? We'll wait to see. 

11:10: It's only 10 minutes in and Jeff already has a least favorite contestant: Suede. It keeps in line with Jeff's general dislike of all people named after non-waterproof fabrics. (Edit: Reading over this Jeff says, "Plus, you didn't even mention that he has a denim vest with his name spelled out in rhinestones. Can I get one for Christmas?" A sentence I never thought I'd hear him utter...)

11:11: OMG. It's Austin Scarlett, wearing less makeup than usual. So excited to see him back. There's not nearly enough Austin Scarlett on TV. The first challenge will be a throw-back to Season 1's first challenge: make a garment from materials found at a grocery store. Although there are a a few challenges I'd like to see again (wedding dress anyone?), I don't know if this was it.

11:12: "I'm a mom, so I know a supermarket when I see one," says Korto.  Wow. Um. Good thing you're a mom ...

11:12: Making a dress out of garbage bags, Stella? Um, hello, did you see Season 1? Why would you ever try to re-create the look that got the first ever contestant eliminated. I'm amazed that people on reality shows are so stupid when it comes to general show knowledge. This ranks up there with the contestants on America's Next Top Model being late coming back from their go-sees and being eliminated. Oh boy, I've lost my last male reader right there.

11:19: I for one was hoping Joe was making a "Fusilli Jerry." You know, because he's silly! Anyone? Anyone?

11:19: I see Daniel's plastic cup dress and I'm immediately thinking "winner." It looks cool, challenging and chic. I'm channeling my inner Michael Kors right now. 

11:21: Stella is coming off her heavy dose of qualudes and realizing making a dress out of trash bags is "garbage." Somebody give this girl some caffine. Stellllllllaaaaa!

11:23: Tim's making his rounds. He likes Daniel's dress, no surprise. He also likes Kelli's dress, although I'm not a fan, I think she'll be "in." Jeff says: "I like her." Also no surprise. Jeff typically gravitates towards the best looking designer. I think it helps him forget what kind of show he's watching.

11:25: Jerry is realizing he's sh*t out of luck. I'm a little worried for my initial favorite. His shower curtain/tablecloth combo isn't impressing Tim. And if it doesn't impress Tim, it's definitely not going to impress Nee-nah Gah-sea-ah.

11:32: "I really feel like I'm going to make a fool of myself," says Stella. Too late. "If I'm eliminated first, I'll be the biggest jackass in the nation," she adds. Again, too late.

11:34: "I have to hand stich the crotch area," says Blayne. I'm not a model (No, really) but those have to be the scariest words for them to ever hear, right? Other than, "Congratulations, you get to meet Tyra Banks!"

11:38: Jeff's asleep. Congrats to those who chose the 30 minute over! You get a free Del's lemonade on me. 

11:40: Runway show time. Prizes are the same as the last time, for the most part. I learn that Austin Scarlett is the creative director for Kenneth Pool and I'm genuinely happy for him.

11:41: Her dress got overlooked, but Emily's lace table cloth, bouncy-ball dress is one of my favorites. She should be here until close to the end.

11:42: Sorry, Korto. I don't like kale on my plate and I definitely don't like it around my neck. Why take such a throw away vegetable and use it for the garment? It's clear none of these designers will top Austin's corn husk dress from the first time around.

11:44: Will the following designers please step forward ... Daniel, Jerry, Korto, Stella, Kelli, Blayne. Pretty much as expected. My money's on Daniel to win and Stella to be OUD.

11:45: Oh Jerry. This looks terrible. It looks like she's wearing a maxi pad. Michael Kors calls it "Bridal Nurse." What does that even mean? Heidi says "Hospital plummer." I'm guessing these aren't good things.

11:49: Kelli's dress is kind of cool I guess, but I don't feel comfortable with the emphasis on the chest area. I think that's too easy. "You made something girls would want to wear." I can't even tell you the ways in which I disagree with this statement, but then again I'm wearing tear-away snap addidas pants. So ... 

11:52: After an especially biting commentary session from the judges, I'm feeling genuinely bad for whomever gets eliminated first. It's pretty much a total waste of time going on Project Runway, or any reality show for that matter, to be eliminated first. It pretty much means you are the most pathetic of all the contestants. Your 15 minutes of fame will coincide with your utter FAIL. In other words, I'm rooting for Stella to go home. 

11:56: Kelli wins. I have to say I'm surprised. I thought Daniel's keg cup dress would take it. Kelli will be a frontrunner for sure though.

11:57: Down to Jerry and Stella. Boom. Bam. Boom. Bam. "Jerry ... your oud." Wow. I'm kind of surprised. Jerry's was bad, but Stella's was hella bad. One of my early favorite personalities was eliminated early. I'll get over it.

Well that's all. I'm pretty excited about this season, and I don't usually get a favorite until the third or fourth episode so I'm going to have to reserve judgement there. The "This season on Project Runway..." montage is stupid and uniformative: throw in a couple of gasps, a cuss word, a couple of tears, a snarky Tim Gunn comment "It looks like a gay terridactyl  from Jurassic Park" and a snarky Michael Kors comment "Slutty, Slutty, Slutty." It's a wrap. Until next time ... Auf Wiedersehen!

You're Oud ...

What's that you say, Tim? You say it's the season premiere of Project Runway -- Season 5 tonight? You say I should tune in... well I don't mind if I do! 

Project Runway is, for realz, my favorite TV show. Which is so strange since I have no sense of fashion. (Really, it's bad.) I was HOOKED from season 1. What other reality show celebrates kooky, out-of-the-box thinkers with flamboyant personalities as the "norm"? What other reality show will Jeff actually watch with me? (He actually just watches it to hear my Heidi Klum impression:  "Nee-na Gah-sea-ah") He doesn't want to admit he actually likes it. But I know the truth...

My top 5 favorite Project Runway contestants based solely on personality:

5. Christian (Season 4) -- OK he grew on me. Yes, the "fierce" references were over the top, but his snarky digs at the other contestants were fabulous. And, he actually was good.

4. Austin Scarlett (Season 1) -- Christian S. before there was one. "I wanted to swath her in the wind, and the water." Over. The. Top. I also loved his exit speech about how he felt different growing up, but didn't really care now. Or something like that. 

3. Santino (Season 2) -- Totally overlooked contestant. He was the only contestant that season with personality. He was supposed to be who "we loved to hate" but I just loved him. Sorry. 

2. Jay McCarroll (Season 1) -- THE snarkiest contestant in Project Runway history. And its first winner. I liked his style, and even though his win was a little bogus, I was glad for it. Too bad his career hasn't really panned out.

1. Chris (Season 4) -- Loved this guy! His laugh, his jokes. Too bad his designs were hit and miss. I still can't believe he didn't win fan favorite.

No one from season 3 on this list. Didn't really love that season. Liked Michael Knight, but was "off" him by the time the finale came around. (Especially off him when he changed his name to "Mykel") Can't believe Jeffrey won. Whatever. 

Yes, I'm supposed to be working now. Your point?

You are NOT the father!

I know that at a certain age and at a certain intelligence level, you may think that watching the Maury show is childish, or beneath you. And that if you watch it you're not better than the people who are on it ... 

But when the title of the show is "I've been tested 34 times ... who is the father of my child's baby?!?!?"

I mean, seriously? You would change the channel?

File under: Working from home is melting my brain. But I love it.

I've got the jingles

I've been know to hum a commercial jingle or two -- or 54. But Jeff rapping the words to that stupid Taco Bell commercial ("89 cents is what we're gonna pay, get a load of Bobby he's in the back seat..." and no, I didn't have to look those words up) is too much. Please make him stop.

Meanwhile, "I forgot all about the air hockey table... OhhhhhOhhhOhOhOhOhhhhhhh."

Have a good night.

HILARIOUS

"Men don't eat salads!" -- House of Payne

I'm spoiled

*****THIS POST WILL BE ABOUT LOST AND WILL INCLUDE SPOILERS, SO LIVE A LITTLE AND CONTINUE READING***

Ok. So, I'm bad. I'm really bad. I can't help myself when spoilers are out on the internet, I have to look. It started when I was younger, and I unwrapped one Christmas present every year before Dec. 25. When I would read a book, and it was really good, I'd often flip to the back page and read the ending. And just a few days ago, I spoiled a bit of my engagement with such guilty behavior that I can't even mention it here.

So, there's no doubt when Dark UFO's Lost Blogspot revealed they had an entire script summary for the Lost finale two weeks ago, I had to take a peek. A few weeks earlier, on the Kate flash forward episode, the same website had a similar script summary which was nearly 100% accurate upon viewing the show. 

I wanted to peek, I wanted to stop before the last page, but I couldn't.

After reading the script summary, I was disappointed. Frozen wheel? Really, a frozen donkey wheel is the key to making the island go "Ploop!"I was hoping the spoilers weren't true, because the whole episode seemed so standard, so typical, so not-Lost.

Flash forward (ha!) to last night. And unfortunately I found that the episode summary was once again, nearly 100% accurate. The summary didn't include the reunion of Desmond and Penny, which while nice for an emotional storyline conclusion, seemed a bit too easy don't you think? Three years on an island (for Desmond), a constant fight for survival, a HELICOPTER crash, and then wow, there's Penny! After drifting in the ocean for like five minutes. But whatever, they see each other again, it's a wonderful reunion on a Russian ferry.

I was also a little disappointed with Michael's death, because it didn't really wrap up the storyline with Walt, starting center for the New York Knicks and bass in the Harlem Boys Choir. The actor who plays Michael, Harrold Perrineau, commented how it was a teensy bit racist that the black man and his black son don't get their cookie cutter reunion. I have to agree with him. I thought that was odd. The last interaction they showed between Walt and Michael through a window. That's just an unsettling ending. I hope that's not a sign on things to come.

The other thing I didn't like was the idea that they are bringing Locke back to the island. There's buzz that this might be some sort of 'resurrection' and while I'm not a Jesus-freak, I find that offensive. Sorry, I do. Especially with John Locke, of all people.

There were things I did like...

• I thought the acting was great in this episode. Jack's "We have to lie" speech was great. Michael Emerson, the guy who plays Ben, was fantastic as usual (does this guy get enough credit for playing the most interesting and complex character on TV? His "So?" response to Locke was a perfect note.) 
• I liked the idea of Sawyer being a hero there, jumping out of the helicopter. Plus, better than him dying in a fiery explosion. Note: I will be CRUSHED when they kill off Sawyer. CRUSHED. And I do believe they will do it, just wait until the last season.
• The killing off (?) of Jin was heartbreaking, even though Sun seemed over it like 30 seconds later. (Do people ever really mourn on this show?) I don't think he's really dead and was one of the few cliffhangers.
• Evangelline Lilly is gorgeous. Nuff said.

It's funny, because I'm always complaining "I want more!!!" when it comes to Lost -- in that there are too many cliffhangers, too many questions unanswered. But, everything seemed too nicely wrapped up last night. I mean, the questions are still there "Where did the island go?" "What happened after they left?" and the ever-popular "What the hell is this island/show about?" But I don't feel like there was a "Wow!" moment in the episode like there was last season (I don't include the reveal of Locke in the coffin, because, I knew that was coming.)

Maybe it's my fault for reading the spoilers. I just wish the producers had come through with a more thought-provoking finale. That being said, I still love the show and can't wait until next season. Finale Grade: B-

Mission Statement

So I'm starting this blog in an effort to remember as many details as I can about what is no doubt, the most exciting period of my life. That excitement doesn't just include my wedding, but my new JOB and a general feeling of contentment and accomplishment that's been lacking for a while. And, you know, if I started this blog a few months ago and kept it every day would have read something like this: "Got up. Saw it was before 10:30. Went back to bed. Got up. And by up, I mean awake, not actually vertical. Turned on the TV. Watched 'Whose Wedding is It Anyway' followed by 'Maury'. Lunch. Back to TV. Cursed the 1 p.m. hour as nothing is ever on. Two o'clock: 'Law and Order'. Blinding headache begins. Trip to Dunkin Donuts for Toasted Almond Ice, Cream only. Blinding headache subsides. TV order resumes: Scrubs, King of Queens, Seinfeld. Jeff returns home. I change out of pajamas into workout clothes. Workout. Home, dinner, back in pajamas. Celtics, Red Sox. Sleep."

Wash and repeat for almost six months. 

But not anymore! Now I realize that most of my friends are men, and that a blog about wedding planning hurts their head like mine does without coffee, but they'll have to bear with me. A lot of stuff is happening now. Picking a date, a reception and ceremony venue, and some other major vendors should have happened a few months ago (Thanks Jeff!), and I want to remember the whole process here. But I am a sports writer/reporter/editor (not necessarily in that order) and a TV Junkie, so there will be a post here and there for you. 

Please stay and read. Add another friend's blog to your roll call.