What does this do?

OK this is getting embarrassing. Let's just finish this thing (or get close) already.

Day 4 of the honeymoon we packed up our London hotel room and headed to Heathrow so we could pick up our car and drive two hours to the Cotswolds, aka England countryside.

We got to the car rental place and waited forever in line only for the people at the desk to tell us they didn't have what we reserved, which was an automatic car with a GPS.

Say what?

Good news, they said. We have a manual with a built-in GPS. Not good news, we said, neither of us can drive a manual. OK, they said, we have an automatic and I can give you directions, I know how to get to the Cotswolds...

Cue pained faces.

So the dude went in the back and I mentally pictured the scene from Seinfeld where Jerry's at the car rental place and the lady goes in the back to "talk with the manager."

You know how to take the reservation, but you don't know how to HOLD the reservation. Anyone can take them!

When he came back, to our short-lived delight, we saw he had the keys to a Mercedes. Jeff and I had a mental conversation ala How I Met Your Mother that went something like.

Me: You see that, those are keys to a Mercedes.

Jeff: Yeah, I see them, we're getting a Mercedes?

In unison: Sweet!

But no, the dude told us, yes, we can give you this totally sweet Mercedes with a built-in GPS, but yes, we still have to charge you more. Almost $200 more. WTF.

Anyways, we were ready to just get out of there already. We went out to the parking lot, and after two trips back in and out to figure how to find/operate the damn thing, we were off. In a brand-new Mercedes no less. It had nine miles on it. It had all the bells and whistles. But we were still pissed off about the $$ on our carefully budgeted honeymoon... more on that later.

So we channeled all the calm we had stored up and Jeff safely navigated us to the Cotswolds, despite a brief emergency when he somehow put on the parking brake while we were on the highway ;)

Since the Cotswolds in the countryside, the roads are particularly narrow, which you can imagine makes the driving experience harrowing, so we were so relieved when we got to our LOVELY B&B and found "town" to be in walking distance.

But first, some tea.

OK, it was coffee. But it was still good.

And how LOVELY was our B&B? Well, take a look.

View from our window.

Our room.

Our two days in the Cotswolds (Chipping Campden to be specific) were supposed to be our "relaxing" days. I think this street sign pretty much tells you all you need to know about the area.

We had a nice, relaxing dinner that night and woke up refreshed in the morning.

We had a lovely (I know, I'm overusing, but that's the best word to describe it!) breakfast made by our host before we headed out for the day. Remember when I said this was supposed to be the relaxing leg? Do you think Jeff would really let me relax?

I have to tell you though, this morning brought the worst experience of the honeymoon. We decided to stop in town at a genuine silversmith. We walked around the workshop and it was truly incredible. If I had had an unlimited souvenir budget, I would have definitely bought a little silver spoon or cup or something. But alas. Anyways, while we were there I had to go to the bathroom. I bought a bottle of water from so I could use the bathroom there and as I was... um... finishing up, I happened to glance up at the ceiling.

It was COVERED in HUGE spiders. At least 20 of them. Ohmygod, ohmygod, ohmygod!!! I hustled out there something fierce. I ran out (literally) into the courtyard, threw off my jacket and screamed at Jeff to check me. Then I started to cry. It was awful. I hate spiders.

Anyways, we decided to head off to Broadway Tower, which which wasn't that fascinating. It was actually built in an era where Towers were no longer being used.

From the bottom.
From the top.

After that we headed to another relaxing lunch before going to Sudley Castle. Sudley Castle was home of Henry the VIII (see, him again) and his last wife, Catherine. Of all the Castles/Towers we saw, this was definitely my favorite. It was on a huge estate, and it was impeccably maintained.

These last two pictures were taken inside the chapel on the Estate and the last pic is actually the burial place of Queen Catherine. Cool and creepy huh?

Dinner that night was back in town and was our introduction to perhaps the culinary creation most suited for my husband: Steak and ale pie. Oh my, so delish. I got a burger (WHY???) that was absolute CRAP and I spent the end of my meal scraping whatever I could out of my husband's dish. It's like a pot roast, but with a thick ale sauce and a pastry crust. How can you go wrong? Soooo good.

OK, if you've made it this far, I'm happy to say I only have our day in Liverpool and two days in Edinburgh left to cover. I promise to end this in the next two days. But if you read this far, let me wrap up the car $$ situation.

At the encouragement of everyone we told the story to, Jeff demanded the extra money back from the car rental place via e-mail. He forwarded the email to me which absolutely CRACKED me up, since my husband is not really a shake my hand in your face sort of guy. He's more of a brooding, complain under my breath guy. Here's a snippet of the e-mail.

Be it known, I will never rent from [car rental place] again.

I’d like to thank you for throwing a wrench in our carefully planned honeymoon budget. Thanks to your customer service we had to scrap our plans to see a show while in London.

Congratulations on squeezing a few extra dollars out of us. It will be the last time.

For my own gratification (I’m sure), I am including our original reservation and a copy of my bank statement.

Thanks for nothing.

********

Two weeks after the honeymoon, we got our money back.