We couldn't wait to get outside the world

I got an iTunes card for my birthday from Jeff's parents, and I started thinking about what songs I wanted to download (of course this is a serious decision.) I had a ton of music on my first college computer, when Napster was still 'legal' and you could download as much music as you wanted. There are so many songs I used to listen to on repeat that I lost when that computer died. It seems with every computer I've gotten since then I've lost more and more music.

I wanted to reminisce a little here, to songs that meant a lot to me when I was younger, enduring puppy love, battles with friends (I couldn't figure out fast enough that friends that fight with you aren't friends worth keeping. I get it now), when I thought I was a bit cooler than I was and was often too angsty for my own good. I downloaded 10 songs (I want to save a bit of the card for later!).

Songs in order of the period of my life, from youngest to oldest.

Artist: Sublime

Song: April 29, 1992

Comment: The first CD I ever bought was Sublime, Sublime. I used listen to this thing over and over and over and over. I think I still know every word on the album by heart. For some reason, this was my favorite song. (Side note: Has anyone been watching Celebrity Rehab? Seeing Rodney King on there is so surreal and sad. He was such a victim of circumstance and he hasn't really been able to get his life back together since. Sort of unfair.)

Favorite lyric:

"But if you look at the streets it wasn't about Rodney King,
It's bout this [expletive] up situation and these [expletive] up police.
It's about coming up and staying on top
and screamin' 187 on a [expletive] cop.
It's not written on the paper it's on the wall.
National guard
Smoke from all around"

Ok sorry for the explicitness there. I'm not embarrassed to say I loved this song, but I do want to make it clear I wasn't attempting to be 'gangster' or similar to the people who lived through the LA Riots. But maybe I was rallying against the man... just a little. Hey, I was 15!

Artist: Notorious BIG

Song: Juicy

Comment: OK remember what I said before about not trying to be gangster? Well, maybe I was a little. I *think* this was the first rap song I ever heard, or registered. I specifically remember listening to it on a cassette tape. I still know all the lyrics.

Favorite lyric: "If you don't know, now you know" Yeah, that's right. Oh man, what a punk I was.

Artist: John Lennon

Song: Working Class Hero

Comment: Oh, I went through a hard-core John Lennon phase. I'm not sure it's over yet. I definitely felt 'cool' knowing and listening to this song. (Side note: If you're a Beatles/John Lennon fan and you don't own the book 'All we are saying' which is basically a novel of his final interview ... go out and get it now or ask for it for Christmas.)

Favorite lyric: There's so many good ones here, it's hard to choose!

"When they've tortured and scared you for twenty odd years
Then they expect you to pick a career
When you can't really function you're so full of fear"

Obviously, John Lennon wasn't much of a proponent of the public school system, and while I'm not as cynical as he was (Hey, I have friends that work for public schools) I see what he's driving at here.

Artist: A Perfect Circle

Song: Three Libras

Comment: I loved this song mostly for the vocals, I thought they were so smooth, though I'm a little embarrassed to put this one on the list -- but I loved it and I still do!!

Favorite lyric: "Here I am expecting just a little too much from the wounded." How's that for angsty lyrics! Haha oh man. I wish I could go back to my high school/early college self and slap myself in the face and yell, "GET OVER IT!"

Artist: Blink-182

Song: Stay Together for the Kids

Comment: I used to joke that this was the divorced kids anthem. Not every line rings true, but the message is really strong and I related to it.

Favorite lyric: "If a stupid poem, could fix this home, I'd read it every day." I absolutely love that line and still do. Not because I had any specific relation to it, but I was growing up in the age where people coddled you in these situations. I was always looking to have real feelings in real situations, I didn't need anyone to pander to me.

Artist: Pearl Jam

Song: Jeremy

Comment: Oh man, I listened to this song at least 10 times a day when I was a freshman in college. This was another great vocal performance. I would channel my inner Eddie Vedder and belt it out.

Favorite lyric: "And the boy was something that mommy wouldn't wear." Again, I couldn't relate to this line or anything (not trying to send any messages here!) I just thought it was smart and sharp.

Artist: Blink-182

Song: Adam's song

Comment: Another Blink-182 song! I wasn't a huge fan or anything, but did they write really powerful teenage anthems or was it just me?

Favorite lyric: "Please tell mom this is not her fault." Obviously, this is a song about suicide. I was never suicidal as a teenager, but I had some people close to me that I worried about sometimes. It would break my heart listening to this song and that line would hit me every time.

Artist: Tom Petty

Song: Crawling Back to You

Comment: This song was all about me feeling sorry for myself. I love Tom Petty more than most people I think. I always thought this would be a perfect movie song for the scene where someone is driving along the road, sad. Lame!

Favorite lyric: "I'm so tired of being tired. Sure as night will follow day, most things that I worry about, never happen anyway." I still love this line without the sadness attached to it. It's true.

Artist: The Killers

Song: Mr. Brightside

Comment: I'm just barely slipping this in as a "teenage song." It was released in September 2003, which would have been a month before my 20th birthday. Coming off a harsh break-up and entering a new relationship, I would rock out to this song regularly.

Favorite lyric: "I just can't look, it's killing me. And taking control." Wah, wah, wah. This is definitely another, 'Emily get over yourself' song memory.

Artist: Gavin Castle ton

Song: Bad Rabbits

Comment: Oh guys, remember our Gavin Castle ton phase? I know at least three of you reading this went through it. I used to think this guy was God's gift to music. I abruptly STOPPED listening to him when he tried to screw over Andrew and the band. Not cool dude. But I just spent 99 cents on your song, all's forgiven?

Favorite lyric: "Don't look at me like that. I want your old face back." I'm pretty sure Jeff got sick of this song pretty fast :P

-- Well, that's it! Hope you enjoyed my trip down memory lane :P I might add some songs later, maybe one at a time, because it was hard to remember some of the ones I wanted. And of course, I listened to stuff like Nysnc and all sorts of pop music when I was a kid, of course I did. But we're talking about songs I actually wanted to download now. Oh, and I also owned an Eminem CD and a Limp Bizkit CD. I'm not sure who of those three groups is the most embarrassing.

I could be sort of a sad person growing up, and I think I put that all behind me when I graduated college. All I know is that I definitely feel like a different person than I was when I listened to these songs. But I can still enjoy them in a different perspective.