Oompa, loompa

Since Day 1 of the honeymoon was a semi-bust, you know Jeff had me up at the crack of dawn for Day 2.

The plan was to go to London Tower. Sounded like a good plan to me, though I had no idea what London Tower was. I should point out here that I've never been out of the country, not even to Canada or Mexico, so the idea that you could roll out of a train station, go down a busy metropolitan street and then, oh 'ello, there's a castle was pretty striking to me.

We got there right as the place was opening, which turned out to be pretty smart as the attraction was bombed as we were leaving. We went to see a lot of castles/palaces on our trip and London Tower definitely had that "first-ever" appeal. What's sort of disappointing about places like this though is that it looks absolutely brilliant from the outside. But on the inside they put up wood paneling in every room and paint the walls white or install modern video screens and it sort of takes you out of it. I don't know what I'm expecting? Actual artifacts, furniture, people? I don't know. But the Tower had a great view of the... Tower Bridge. (This may be well known, but Tower Bridge kicks London Bridge's butt. London Bridge is literally a bridge you could see just about anywhere. Just FYI if you ever go there and never knew that.)

For some reason they had all these metal soldier thingies around the castle, so Jeff and I made use of our fondness for taking silly pictures. 

Shakespeare in two acts, wouldn't you say?

They also had some costume stuff you could play with. Of course I included this picture because of how cute Jeff is.

White Tower, circa 1080 was filled with a three-floor exhibit circa 2020. It was cool, all about King Henry VIII. Of all the history we learned in our tour of the UK, King Henry was definitely the historical figure mentioned the most.

London Tower was the first stop on something we found in our London guidebook (thanks Katie!) called the "Millennium Mile" (I think). Of course, I had already walked what felt like several miles already in the morning and my feet were killing me. Is there anything worse than sightseeing for your feet? Ugh, I wish to God I had bought some insoles, I was dying.

Anywhoo... we walked across London Bridge and found a place to eat lunch. 

UK honeymoon discovery #4: At most restaurants in the UK that we ate at, you ordered from the bar. These were regular restaurants, not pubs. Also, every table in London had hooks underneath where signs on the table recommended you hang your purse there, lest it get stolen. Also, the UK is a nightmare for soda lovers. They give you half a can's worth with every order .... and no free refills. Poor Jeff.

After lunch we walked over to Shakespeare's Globe. Now, I'll throw this out there for the sake of the story, despite the fact it makes me sound silly, but I had no idea this wasn't the real deal. No idea it was torn down like 300 years ago. Otherwise I would not have paid an admission fee to tour a replica.

After we were done there, we walked across the Millennium bridge back to the Tube and went back to the hotel. We had dinner at Restaurant Gordon Ramsay at 6:30 p.m.

We arrived at Ramsay's at about 5:45. It's weird, it's so small, in a regular neighborhood. We walked right past it and didn't realize it was there. Jeff was too embarrassed to go in early, but I finally convinced him to make a break for the door around 6, thinking they'd let us sit in the bar. Well, no. They didn't actually open until 6:30 and the waiter at the door sheepishly told us we'd have to come back. Jeff was mortified, of course I didn't really care. We walked around the block a few times, saw two women come around the corner, stop, take off their shoes, pull new shoes out of their bags, put those on and walk towards Ramsays. I tell you this because I did the exact same thing. Too funny!

(Outside the restaurant)

We got inside, they took my jacket and we got a look at the place. It was not what I was expecting at all. The dining room was intimate, there were maybe 10 tables? There were some other patrons inside already, so we felt a little more at ease. 

Now at Ramsay's, they had a waiter for everything. A waiter for bread, a waiter for water, a waiter for wine, a waiter who brought out the tray so the other waiter could explain to you what was on it. There was more wait staff than there were people in the restaurant. And they were all so friendly and understanding of our questions, confusions and general out-of-placements. I love when people in upscale places are nice to you when you clearly are out of your league -- makes me feel like Pretty Woman. (Big mistake! HUGE!)

I digress.

First came the canapes. One was a sweet potato crisp sandwich stuffed with mozzarella and pesto. The other was a pastry cone filled with avocado and lobster. The second was delicious, Jeff loved it! (I should mention at this point three things, not related. 1. I had intended to take pictures of the food, but once I got in, that clearly would have been too embarrassing to handle. 2. Jeff is picky. 3. This was an absolute splurge for us and in no way could we actually afford it. C'est la vie!)

Then came the amouse bouche. Cold tomato consumme soup with a baby shrimp and caviar. Not my favorite. Probably because I love my soups hot.

Finally we got to, you know, order something. We decided we'd each have the three course menu. I had the lobster ravioli and beef filet and Jeff had the scallops and duck. Here are the food descriptions for these items.

Ravioli of lobster, 
langoustine and salmon poached in a light bisque 
with a lemongrass and chervil velouté

Pan-fried sea scallops from the Isle of Skye 
with peas, crispy bacon, 
quail’s eggs and baby gem lettuce

Aged Casterbridge beef fillet 
with fondant potato, fricassée of broad beans, 
courgettes and confit cherry vine tomatoes

Roasted Barbary duck breast 
with creamed savoy cabbage, beetroot, 
caramelised shallots and Madeira jus 

Ohmygod. The lobster ravioli was amazing. It was actually just one large ravioli, STUFFED with just delicate lobster chunks. The sauce it came with was unreal, I feel like I can still taste it, it was that good. I sopped it up with one of the FOUR pieces of bread I had.

Jeff's sea scallops were just as good. Jeff doesn't like fish, so the scallop was actually a compromise for him, as the appetizers only revolved around fish or fois gras, so I guess fish was the lesser of two evils. For him, it was just OK. For me, his scallops were the best scallops I've ever had. Yum yum yum!!!

Next came our entrees. I have to say my beef filet was not the best steak I've ever had, still very good though. However, it came with a chunk of potato that I can't even describe. It tasted like a roasted potato, as in, one that would be in a pot, infused with gravy. That sounds pedestrian, but it was just sooooo good! It came with a bit of bone marrow -- interesting! and slimy. The two tomatoes came with it ruined me for the rest of my life on tomatoes. They were that good.

I didn't get much of a taste of Jeff's duck but he was pleased with it.

Not as pleased as he was with the pre-dessert though. Or should I say, dessert 1 of 12. 

First up was the freebie "pre-dessert." It was a champagne and strawberry smoothie, topped with vanilla creme, served in a champagne glass with a glass straw. Oh, and it had pop rocks in it. I kid you not. It was amazing.

(I'll interject here and say I had two glasses of wine and Jeff had two beers for our drinks. We also had two bottles of water. I made myself drink both bottles because we had to pay for them, natch.)

Then came our ordered dessert. Now, with the three course menu you ordered an appetizer, entree and dessert, obviously. The dessert, for most, was one item. But Jeff and I went with the "dessert for two" which was no more expensive but contained the following items.

Fruit bowl with pineapple ravioli.

Apple fritter.

Chocolate mousse in chocolate casing.

Some sort of lime sorbet with a crispy pastry shell.

Vanilla creme brulee.

The waiter came out and laid this all on the table. Then he said, "When you're finished with this, I'll bring out the rest of it."

Our mouths dropped. We snickered "Suckers!" to those who had not ordered the dessert for two.

 Ooook, let's get to work then.

Clearly, we demolished it all. Jeff loved the lime sorbet, and I was of course partial to the chocolate mouse. The creme brulee was good and the apple fritter was OK. The fruit bowl was a nice fresh treat.

OK done with that. What could possibly still be to come? Mind you, we had no idea what the "dessert for two" included, there was no description on the menu, so we were sort of in the hands of the chef.

Out came a cherry souffle and two spoonfuls of chocolate ice cream. Oh my. Definitely the highlight, for me, of dessert. The souffle was amazing, not overly fruity and Jeff said the ice cream tasted like pure chocolate -- it was his favorite part.

At this point, clearly, I was absolutely stuffed. 

But it wasn't over. Out came the freebie "post desserts." Chocolate truffles dusted with silver powder and presented on a tree-like wire thing, turkish delight (which I don't care for) and a container of white chocolate strawberry ice cream, on dry ice, which made quite the specticle when it came out. 

We somehow finished it. Then I couldn't help but think of the fuss I'd been making all night to the waiters, how it was our HONEYMOON, how we had gotten ENGAGED at Gordon Ramsay's restaurant in NYC. So I knew there'd be something still to come.

There was. A tiny scoop of strawberry sorbet with a candle. I could barely eat it but Jeff LOVED it. 

It was at this point I felt comfortable enough with our friendly French waiter to ask him for a picture. He kindly obliged.

Overall, a truly amazing dining experience and one of the most memorable nights of my life. Dinner lasted a leisurely but packed two and a half hours and I'll be real with you: it cost us just a shade under $400. But it was our honeymoon right??

We left the restaurant full, but not sick and took a slow walk back to the Tube on an absolutely beautiful night.