Jeff's card deserves it's own post

Haulin' Housey

I should just say, right up front, that I am very lucky.

I have amazing family, family-to-be and the most amazing upbeat fiance that I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with. He keeps me going.

Now with all that mushy stuff out of the way ... 

Look at all the stuff I got!!!

Let's see if we can get it all... I'll go rightish to left.

Memory foam pillow (Jeff) ...  Six in one suitcase (my Aunt J) ... Reed diffuser (mom) ... Obama 'Hope' shirt (Jeff)* ... ESPN ornament (Jeff) ... towels (mom)... Winter hat (Jeff)... pajama pants (Jeff) ... Red Sox pajama pants (Jeff) .... Earmuffs (Jeff) ... wireless mouse (my brother Mike) ... Cookbook (mom) ... Toothbrush (mom)... Christmas coupons (Jeff)** ... Christmas card (Jeff)... M&Ms (Jeff) ... Camera case and Camera (Jeff) ... Paul Pierce jersey *** (Jeff) ... Laptop rester (Mom) ... Garlic Press and Peeler (mom) ... 'The Office' calendar (Mom) ... Coat hangar 'E' (my aunt J)... Gift certificate for 5 personal training sessions at my gym **** (Mom)... Baseball cards (Jeff) ... Mobil giftcard (Jeff's parents) ... Card and check (Grandpa)... Wall-E (Jeff) ... Coldplay CD (Jeff) ... Extras Christmas special (Jeff)... Celtics championship DVD (Jeff) .. 30 Rock second season (Jeff's parents) ... Saved by the Bell ***** (my brother Mike) ... 'Emily' apron (Mom)... Chipotle mustard (Jeff)... Chili's giftcard (mom) ... Dunkin Donuts Giftcard (Mike)... Starbucks giftcard (mom)... Wall-E Ornament (Jeff)... Notepad (Mom) ... Yoga mat (Jeff)... Penguin stuffy (Jeff) ... and some socks, from my mom and Jeff, which got cut off (there are like six pairs)

Phew!

*So excited Jeff got me the Obama shirt. I'd seen it, but never around, then asked Sabrina about hers and she said she got it in Cali. Searched online ... nothing. So glad Jeff got it!

** The Christmas coupons say things like "You get control of the remote tonight" and "Redeem for one free back rub"... I'll let you know if Jeff keeps up on that.

***Paul Pierce jersey! After Green 17, I had been searching for an upgrade on my Paul Pierce t-shirt. I wanted a jersey, but all they had for women/children were Garnett jerseys. I wanted Pierce!

****Wow, I am so excited/scared for the personal training sessions. They are just what I need to kick-start the post-holiday plunge! Thanks mom!

*****Well, my brother outdid himself. One year, it was Grumpier Old Men. Now, seasons 3-4 of Saved by the Bell. I NEVER know what my brother will give me, but I'm always laughing when I get it ... in a good way.

Yah, I know I'm spoiled.

Back later with more.

Xmas eve rundown

I wanted to get something up here, as the last blog post isn't much into the Christmas spirit. 

Here's what you need to know since we last chatted:

* Drove a little over 800 miles in a little over 13 hours on Tuesday with Jeff and my brother. The destination? Summerville, South Carolina a.k.a. my mom's house.

* Jeff's parents come in, via train (yes from upstate New York) at 5 a.m. I'm up by 6:30 to greet them.

* Everyone goes out to Charleston for historic carriage ride. I stay home and work. Scowling ensues. 

* We head off to church. Jeff puts me in a good mood by joking with me in church. Of course in between serious Christian reflection, we also admire the various haircuts of the residents of Summerville. Also -- clothing choices. 

I watch the man in front of me pick his wedgie a different way each time he gets up. The one leg slider-outer, the leg wiggle, the grabbing the back pocket maneuver. You ain't foolin' me!

Re: Jeff singing in church. He was really utilizing the falsetto. For instance:

Jeff: "I got the Amens here."

Me: ::Rolls eyes::

A-men. A-men. A-men.

Jeff: "Nailed it."

* Home for ice cream ... and for me a few more minutes of work. Wrapped a last few presents, signed some cards, felt sleepiness set in. Tomorrow: Christmas morning. Expect a full report.

Some pics:

The families merging. Blurry (left to right): My brother, Jeff's dad, Jeff's mom, Jeff's mouth.

Me, for most of Dec. 24. Working. Blech.

In front of the tree, before church. Love.

Merry Christmas!

Feeling Resolute

I remember the first time I ever felt fat.

Growing up, I didn't really have a weight problem, though I was aware of them as many members of my family and friends struggled. But I kept mostly active as a child, playing soccer and softball -- and a short-lived stint on my middle school's track team, where I was without a doubt the worst member (I think my best-ever mile was 9:10). 

In high school, I stopped soccer, but continued cheerleading (basketball), which despite what you think about the sport, kept me in AWESOME shape. I seriously had a six pack.

But after freshman year I quit cheerleading, and went from about a 1-2 to a 3-4, obviously still in the 'thin' category, but I wasn't really paying attention. I'd never had to think about my weight.

Junior year, I got a boyfriend. Not my first boyfriend, but my first 'real' boyfriend. Since there's not a lot you can do with a high school boyfriend, a lot of the 'dates' involved going out to eat. In the summer, we'd go out for ice cream every night. We found a pizza place that made an amazing buffalo chicken calzone. During the school year, I'd ride the bus to his house and raid his fridge, then go home to eat dinner.

It made him sick. It made me fat.

Still, I didn't notice.

I didn't even really think twice when I went school shopping senior year and the size sixes didn't fit. Neither did the size eights. Oh well, I guess I'm a 10 now. No worries.

Then one day ...

I happened upon the first-draft of the school yearbook. Like many schools, we had one of those those pictures on the inside pages where the entire senior class gathers on the front steps to take a picture. Where was I? There I am, up in the corner.

Ugh. What? When the hell did I get so fat?

It was pretty jarring and the feeling came only from me. Still, I wanted it gone. I had finally gotten my braces off and discovered contacts ... and now I was just going to be fat instead?

No way. So I started dieting. I would eat a normal breakfast (cereal, oatmeal). At school I would have a package of peanut M&Ms and a bottle of water for lunch. For dinner I would have whatever square meal my mom had made. And I limited myself to only hot chocolate for dessert. For exercise, I spent an hour every night walking at a very medium pace on our treadmill and a few minutes doing crunches. Not the world's greatest fitness plan, but it worked.

When I weighed myself at the beginning I was 142 pounds. (Side note: the scale I used to weigh myself was the one outside the nutrition store in the Warwick Mall. Yeah, the one you put a quarter in and it prints out your weight on a little slip of paper. I was so dedicated to that scale I once drove in a blizzard just to weigh myself there. Sad.) 

I started in January and by April I was down to 133. I felt gooood. I wore tighter clothes. I bought a bathing suit from the Victoria's Secret catalogue. I stopped worrying about my weight.

I maintained that peace until middler year of college. I had broken up with high school boyfriend a year before. Jeff and I had started dating, then broke up. I decided to be done with 'relationships' and do 'the college thing.' I drank. I ate cheeseburgers. I got fat again.

I was up to 158. Katie, my best friend and roommate who had been doing 'the college thing' with me, and I decided to get serious, join the Y and lose the weight. So I started dieting again. I exercised 3-4 times a week. And I lost 14 pounds. 

Since then it's never left my mind. I monitor my calories at all times, feel guilty when I go over, when I don't go to the gym.

I really bottomed out this past winter. Living with Jeff's parents, unemployed for six months, too poor to join the gym, I ate and sat around. I ballooned. I weighed 163 pounds when I finally got to the gym in May.

I had always told myself that I wouldn't be fat for my wedding. That as soon as the ring went on my finger, I would drop all the weight or I would never forgive myself. I figured I had about 30 pounds to lose, but would be happy with about 25. I started going to the gym 4-5 times I week. I tried to alter my diet the best I could stand.

I've lost 10 pounds -- 153. No longer holding the title 'the fattest I've ever been' but still far from where I want to be. 

After New Year's Day -- I will begin anew. I have seven months -- more like five -- to lose 20 pounds. I want it to happen so bad. I will cut out some of the crap from my diet -- no more coffee, nothing but water, no eating after eight -- and no dessert more than once a week (I have it every day now.)

I know some people don't believe in New Year's resolutions, but I do. In fact, every time I've ever lost weight it's started at the New Year -- and bottomed out around April.

It's hard not to be obsessive and over-critical while you're dieting, but I'll have to be. 

Jeff's sister's boyfriend Rob said to me over Thanksgiving that what does it matter what my weight is, if Jeff loves me the way I am.

Well, he does. And that helps. But it's not about him. It's about me. It's about not having any regrets.

And it starts Jan. 1.

*Contented Sighs*

Jeff just gave me an early Christmas present.

"Twas the Night Before Christmas" picture book.

He can't wait until we read it to our kids.

We read it to each other instead, for now.

I can't wait to be his wife.

Party of Five.

Oh man, I just giggled at that title. :P

A few weeks back (maybe just one week, I don't remember, it's running together), Meggie suggested a holiday dinner party to be held at her and her husband's beautiful downtown Boston condo. Well with Friday also being Katie's birthday it was a perfect time to kill two birds with one stone.

I got switched to a Friday shift at the last minute, but got an 8-5, which normally would be my ideal shift, but I was a little tired in the morning... quickly solved with an iced coffee. The e-mail system wasn't working and blah blah, it was a bad shift with good company. I was rushing around the apartment to get ready because I was sure we'd be slammed with traffic going into Boston (about a 45 minute drive with no stops) and I didn't want to make everyone wait for us. I got off at about 4:45, went to pick Jeff up at work (side note: HE FINALLY GOT A HAIRCUT. And we have that 100 square feet of our apartment back!).

Well, there was no traffic. Who knew?

Usually when I go into Boston I park by my old apartment on Mission Hill because it's easy parking, even though it's sort of a longish trek to Meg's downtown apartment from there (about 35 minutes with walking and T). Well, Meg suggested I park at her apartment building instead -- I'm not sure how much it cost, only that Meg and Troy took care of it for me and that it was a VERY nice change of pace. In the morning the valet guy delivered the car ... high class. Thanks guys!!!!

Ok enough of the boring how we got there stuff. Since we hit no traffic we were a little early (45 minutes -- oops!) Meg and Troy were still hard at work in the kitchen. They are so cute. They had a lot of friendly banter about the cooking times of the meals (Meg wants to keep the food IN the oven, Troy wants to take it out). In the end, everything was perfect!

Right before dinner, Jeff and I gave the group their presents (a food dehydrator for Katie, which she wanted, and some DVDs for the married couple.) Jeff also made everyone cards, it's his new favorite thing. They were so cute. He also burned three Christmas CDs, and made a cover for them. It read: "A Werschaible Christmas" and he superimposed a picture of us onto an ornament, and put Christmas hats on our heads. I wish I had taken a pic! It was pretty funny.

So what did we have...

Along with some cheese, hummus and crackers, we had these cheese and ham puffs and some spankinopia (OK, I don't feel like looking up the spelling, but you know the spinach pastry things). I think I was on my third glass of wine before dinner...

Cornish hen with stuffing. Squash and bacon risotto. Snow peas. Yum!!! I especially loved the risotto which I was skeptical of, but it turned out sooooooo good!

I've never had a small hen like that before, so I didn't really know the best way to attack it. Well, by the end, as Jeff put it "it looked like a cherry bomb went off in mine." Meanwhile, Katie was absolutely surgeon-like, it was amazing. (I took pictures of this, but decided it was sort of unappetizing to look at, so you can just imagine my poultry carcass in your head.)

After dinner we talked and laughed etc etc ...

... Jeff and I taking a lovely photo (this one for the Christmas card maybe? :P)

... and an artsy photo from Katie ...

...Katie and her finger tambourines. Don't ask....

... and I showed Katie some of my yoga moves, and then she showed me some of hers ( did I mention there was wine?)...

... and then dessert!!! Mini-chocolate trifles. Yum! I was so full!

We chatted a little more then went to bed. In the morning, (seriously Bressette's, 6:45 a.m. is not awake time on a Saturday ;) Meg made bacon and eggs and apparently is single handedly trying to ruin my diet. 

Jeff and I planned to go see a movie but we stopped at TWO movie theaters and nothing good was playing! We were bummed. But it gave me a chance to take Jeff to Whole Foods. We sampled for lunch, bough a lot of expensive food (everything there is so tempting), including sushi which I hadn't had in forever. I love it, but I wish it wasn't so pricey!!

We came home, I napped. I woke up and Jeff and I are just enjoying the night together... we watched Elf and he just went to get some more Mad Men DVDs. Two perfect nights :)

Confessions of a TV addict.

Most people who know me know how much I love TV. Seriously, I'm one personal Dunkin Donuts in my kitchen away from never leaving the house. But there are some things I need to get off my chest...

MAD MEN

Jeff rented the first DVD the other day, even though we hadn't really discussed it (I say that, because when Jeff chooses a DVD without me, bad things happen. See: Cape Fear, 27 Dresses and Running with Scissors). I had tuned in for about 15 minutes of this show sometime last year, and it didn't interest me much, but I thought I'd give it another go.

Fifteen minutes in, my skin was crawling and I was asking my friend Steve online "Why shouldn't I break this DVD in half?" while Jeff was insisting "It's a period piece!" 

Look, I know how it was for women in the 1960s, but that doesn't mean I enjoy thinking how awful it was back then. I remember my mom telling me growing up that she had three options for work: 1. Teacher. 2. Secretary and 3. Nurse. Now, clearly nothing wrong with those professions, what's wrong here is the lack of choice. 

Sure, they give some women on here a brain, but to what extent? 

Joan -- Hot red headed secretary who I'm pretty sure has Jeff drooling every time she's on screen (he has a thing for redheads that he better KEEP TO HIMSELF). She's quick witted, but her ahead-of-the-times behavior only seems to extend to her social/sexual life. Oh, and she sleeps a married man, who is also her boss. Can't say I look up to that.

Peggy -- Cute (?) new secretary. She seems like she has her wits about her, but it takes her a whole day before she makes a move on her boss and sleeps with her soon-to-be-married coworker. In the last episode I watched, she said some bright things that might lead to a short copywriting position, which her bosses said "was like watching a dog playing the piano." Grrr.

Betty -- Don Draper (main guy's) wife. I actually like her the best, despite the fact that she plays into most of the stereotypes. She at least reads as a real person to me, not a cartoon character.

The off-the-cuff comments extend past sexism to racism as well, and Steve playfully pointed out to me that I watch plenty of violence and don't get up in arms, but I guess this just rubs me the wrong way. 

That being said ....

I do like the show and am into it. The acting is good, the chemistry between characters is good, I like the subject matter of working in an ad agency. I love the clothes and costumes on both the men and women. It's a good show, no doubt, and it's not the show's fault that "that's how things were." I'm sure it's an accurate, if not generous, description of the times.

But that doesn't mean I should brush it all aside and ignore and say, "ah well... it's just TV." We still have a long way to go.

::Steps off soap box::

THE HILLS

How do you like THAT transition? OK, confession time.

I watch the Hills. I WATCH the Hills. I watch the HILLS. My name is Emily and I WATCH THE HILLS.

I feel better. 

Look, I know it's a stupid show. It's beyond stupid. It's absolutely vapid. There is no merit, boring repeated storylines, terrible dialogue and dead-behind the eyes (thank you Joel McHale) characters. (Side note: Is Stephanie the least interesting reality show character of all time or is it just me?)

So why do I watch it? I don't KNOW! I mean, I don't tune in when it's on, because Jeff wouldn't stand for it. I usually catch it the next day or a few days later. Maybe it's my addiction to gossip sites (no better) that fuels a mild interest. 

Maybe I secretly enjoy the clothes and atmosphere of LA. It can't be because I like any of the people, because I don't. Maybe I watch it just to hate on them, which makes me feel even worse about it.

I don't know. I'm sure the show will be over in the next two years, and then the main players in the tabloids for a few more, then everyone, including me, will lose interest.

Until then.

HG TV

I have been watching an inordinate amount of HG TV lately. Jeff had been watching it for a while, usually Saturday and Sunday morning before I woke up. Eventually, I caught on. 

Our favorites are House Hunters, My First Home, Property Virgins (don't know the difference really between the last two), My House is Worth What?, My Big Fat Renovation, Designed to Sell, Buy this House, and Hidden Potential.

Yeah, it's quite the slate.

So when and why did this happen? I can't help but feel like it's a side-effect of getting old (did we start around my 25th birthday Jeff?) I mean, with wedding comes house hopefully. We both hate renting, but we sure as heck aren't designers or renovators. We're more likely to end up on Clean House then My Big Fat Renovation.

I'm not creative with design or handy. I am at least two years from purchasing a home. So I don't know. I'm not saying only old people watch these shows, I just would love to identify WHY I enjoy them so much, and so many!

****

So what TV do you watch that you can't understand exactly WHY you like them? I can't be the only one who is ashamed/astonished by what they watch. Spill the beans! Come out of the woodwork! Tell me I'm not alone!

Still in the running.

I've been waiting for days to be able to do this post, so that's why there's been such a lag. I kept thinking, "Oh, I'll get them tomorrow, so I don't want to post today." Them being ... my professional Running of the Brides pics!

I'm a leeetle disappointed, mainly because I'm sure she took more pics than the ones she sent me, and I really wanted to be able to show you guys some of the super ugly dresses I tried on. And since I already shared the whole Running of the Brides experience with you once, I won't bore you with all the details again, and will make this post picture heavy.

Team Werchaible, minus Katie and her mom. This was probably around 6:30 a.m., which ... explains a lot.

Yeah, there were lots and lots of dresses!

Me meeting the president of Filene's, which quickly turned into awkward time and ended with a kiss. Yeah, clearly surreal.

This was NOT the one. Didn't love the skirt portion.

My mom's friend Bev was the BEST at seeking out dresses for me... she was a pro!

Yeah, it's stuff like this that best friends are for :)

This was exactly the kind of dress I thought I wanted before I went. Lacy-tank-ish top with a simple skirt. And looking at the picture, I wish I had tried it on again without the stuff on underneath, but I'm trying to remember my first impression -- "I look beefy."

Me being a ham which is a surprise to absolutely no one who knows me.

So this was the runner up. And my mom is going to make a face when I say this... but I actually think this looks nicer on me then I remembered. I like how the buttons trail down the back and I think it frames me nicely. It was also the kind of dress I had originally wanted. However, it had sleeves, which despite people's claims that they could be taken off, I was wary of that. Also, I didn't feel like it defined my waist and felt sort of plain. I like how it looks here ... but I still like my ACTUAL dress better.

This is definitely one of my favorite shots! My mom's friends, Bev and Jan, came with us to ROTB (that's Jan on the left, my mom in the middle and Bev on the right). They wanted to come because they both had sons and didn't get to participate in the whole dress buying experience. They were SUCH good sports and SO excited to be there, so they just made the whole day more fun. They've been friends for almost 40 years, along with another woman, and they're like Aunts to me. They used to get together once a month on a Friday for "Girls Night" at rotating houses. It was so much fun because my mom would try out new recipes for the girls -- before I was banished upstairs for the night. It's a pretty amazing story of friendship, and I'm pretty sure they are the only people who can tell my mom the truth and get away with it. She listens to them and fully trusts their judgment.

HOWEVER -- hehehe -- they could not convince my mom to like my dress. I love this pic because Jan is tearing up at my gown, and although I can't HEAR her, I feel like Bev is telling my mom in this pic, "Now Barbara, it's HER wedding day." They were all bridesmaids at my mother's wedding and were trying to harken back to those days. 

In order to ensure that the dress I chose was THE one, I had to take off my undergarments and try it on. Not exactly the easiest task in a giant room of people, with cameras, with men. And it's not like my dress just slips on, it's sort a "wiggle-pull-wiggle-pull-zip-adjust" dealy. So here's my lovely group holding up a blanket around me while my best friend and awesome MOH Katie gets me into the dress. 

I have quite a few pictures of me in THE dress, but I can't post them because of Jeff. If you wanna see them though, drop your email in the comments (unless I have it already). There are also frame-by-frame shots of my infamous slow-mo dance from the ROTB video I posted a while back.

Ahh, so much fun. I suspect sometimes it's difficult for brides to have so many around while they are picking out dresses. I had the opposite experience. I couldn't have had such a fun day without every person that came. It's a story I can tell forever -- and probably teased about forever. I wouldn't change a thing about it!

We couldn't wait to get outside the world

I got an iTunes card for my birthday from Jeff's parents, and I started thinking about what songs I wanted to download (of course this is a serious decision.) I had a ton of music on my first college computer, when Napster was still 'legal' and you could download as much music as you wanted. There are so many songs I used to listen to on repeat that I lost when that computer died. It seems with every computer I've gotten since then I've lost more and more music.

I wanted to reminisce a little here, to songs that meant a lot to me when I was younger, enduring puppy love, battles with friends (I couldn't figure out fast enough that friends that fight with you aren't friends worth keeping. I get it now), when I thought I was a bit cooler than I was and was often too angsty for my own good. I downloaded 10 songs (I want to save a bit of the card for later!).

Songs in order of the period of my life, from youngest to oldest.

Artist: Sublime

Song: April 29, 1992

Comment: The first CD I ever bought was Sublime, Sublime. I used listen to this thing over and over and over and over. I think I still know every word on the album by heart. For some reason, this was my favorite song. (Side note: Has anyone been watching Celebrity Rehab? Seeing Rodney King on there is so surreal and sad. He was such a victim of circumstance and he hasn't really been able to get his life back together since. Sort of unfair.)

Favorite lyric:

"But if you look at the streets it wasn't about Rodney King,
It's bout this [expletive] up situation and these [expletive] up police.
It's about coming up and staying on top
and screamin' 187 on a [expletive] cop.
It's not written on the paper it's on the wall.
National guard
Smoke from all around"

Ok sorry for the explicitness there. I'm not embarrassed to say I loved this song, but I do want to make it clear I wasn't attempting to be 'gangster' or similar to the people who lived through the LA Riots. But maybe I was rallying against the man... just a little. Hey, I was 15!

Artist: Notorious BIG

Song: Juicy

Comment: OK remember what I said before about not trying to be gangster? Well, maybe I was a little. I *think* this was the first rap song I ever heard, or registered. I specifically remember listening to it on a cassette tape. I still know all the lyrics.

Favorite lyric: "If you don't know, now you know" Yeah, that's right. Oh man, what a punk I was.

Artist: John Lennon

Song: Working Class Hero

Comment: Oh, I went through a hard-core John Lennon phase. I'm not sure it's over yet. I definitely felt 'cool' knowing and listening to this song. (Side note: If you're a Beatles/John Lennon fan and you don't own the book 'All we are saying' which is basically a novel of his final interview ... go out and get it now or ask for it for Christmas.)

Favorite lyric: There's so many good ones here, it's hard to choose!

"When they've tortured and scared you for twenty odd years
Then they expect you to pick a career
When you can't really function you're so full of fear"

Obviously, John Lennon wasn't much of a proponent of the public school system, and while I'm not as cynical as he was (Hey, I have friends that work for public schools) I see what he's driving at here.

Artist: A Perfect Circle

Song: Three Libras

Comment: I loved this song mostly for the vocals, I thought they were so smooth, though I'm a little embarrassed to put this one on the list -- but I loved it and I still do!!

Favorite lyric: "Here I am expecting just a little too much from the wounded." How's that for angsty lyrics! Haha oh man. I wish I could go back to my high school/early college self and slap myself in the face and yell, "GET OVER IT!"

Artist: Blink-182

Song: Stay Together for the Kids

Comment: I used to joke that this was the divorced kids anthem. Not every line rings true, but the message is really strong and I related to it.

Favorite lyric: "If a stupid poem, could fix this home, I'd read it every day." I absolutely love that line and still do. Not because I had any specific relation to it, but I was growing up in the age where people coddled you in these situations. I was always looking to have real feelings in real situations, I didn't need anyone to pander to me.

Artist: Pearl Jam

Song: Jeremy

Comment: Oh man, I listened to this song at least 10 times a day when I was a freshman in college. This was another great vocal performance. I would channel my inner Eddie Vedder and belt it out.

Favorite lyric: "And the boy was something that mommy wouldn't wear." Again, I couldn't relate to this line or anything (not trying to send any messages here!) I just thought it was smart and sharp.

Artist: Blink-182

Song: Adam's song

Comment: Another Blink-182 song! I wasn't a huge fan or anything, but did they write really powerful teenage anthems or was it just me?

Favorite lyric: "Please tell mom this is not her fault." Obviously, this is a song about suicide. I was never suicidal as a teenager, but I had some people close to me that I worried about sometimes. It would break my heart listening to this song and that line would hit me every time.

Artist: Tom Petty

Song: Crawling Back to You

Comment: This song was all about me feeling sorry for myself. I love Tom Petty more than most people I think. I always thought this would be a perfect movie song for the scene where someone is driving along the road, sad. Lame!

Favorite lyric: "I'm so tired of being tired. Sure as night will follow day, most things that I worry about, never happen anyway." I still love this line without the sadness attached to it. It's true.

Artist: The Killers

Song: Mr. Brightside

Comment: I'm just barely slipping this in as a "teenage song." It was released in September 2003, which would have been a month before my 20th birthday. Coming off a harsh break-up and entering a new relationship, I would rock out to this song regularly.

Favorite lyric: "I just can't look, it's killing me. And taking control." Wah, wah, wah. This is definitely another, 'Emily get over yourself' song memory.

Artist: Gavin Castle ton

Song: Bad Rabbits

Comment: Oh guys, remember our Gavin Castle ton phase? I know at least three of you reading this went through it. I used to think this guy was God's gift to music. I abruptly STOPPED listening to him when he tried to screw over Andrew and the band. Not cool dude. But I just spent 99 cents on your song, all's forgiven?

Favorite lyric: "Don't look at me like that. I want your old face back." I'm pretty sure Jeff got sick of this song pretty fast :P

-- Well, that's it! Hope you enjoyed my trip down memory lane :P I might add some songs later, maybe one at a time, because it was hard to remember some of the ones I wanted. And of course, I listened to stuff like Nysnc and all sorts of pop music when I was a kid, of course I did. But we're talking about songs I actually wanted to download now. Oh, and I also owned an Eminem CD and a Limp Bizkit CD. I'm not sure who of those three groups is the most embarrassing.

I could be sort of a sad person growing up, and I think I put that all behind me when I graduated college. All I know is that I definitely feel like a different person than I was when I listened to these songs. But I can still enjoy them in a different perspective.

It's just what I've always wanted!

Jeff and I spent the long weekend at Jeff's parents' house in Albany>Schenectady>Rotterdam, New York. It basically went something like this from Thursday night on: eat, work, eat, mall, eat, mall, eat, mall, eat. Yeah, it was pretty pathetic. It was nice to see Jeff's parents, his sister and his niece though. They are always good for a good meal and a funny story or two. My favorites from this weekend.

1. Jeff, his 10-year old niece Angel, and I are all driving home from the mall. In my head I'm marveling on how great Jeff is with his niece, seeing hearts and day dreaming about what a great dad he'll be. Then this exchange occurred:

Jeff: "Are you nervous about starting middle school next year?"

Angel: "Yeah, a little."

Jeff: "Well, it won't be much different. You'll just have periods."

Me: shoots Jeff a wide-eyed 'what did you just say to your 10-year old niece?' look.

Jeff: "Class periods! I mean class periods!!!"

He'll be mad I shared that story but oh well.

2. Jeff's mom ordering a take out salad without the lettuce. 

As you can see, it was an entertaining weekend. Saturday afternoon, Jeff volunteered to take his niece to a movie and I took the time to do quite a bit of shopping. Along the way I snapped these photos for you still looking for ideas.

How about stylish kimonos for your entire family? I laugh at this display every time I see it in the mall. And I'm not saying you have to be Asian to wear a kimono, but come on, you would laugh at these people in public for trying wayyyy to hard. Or maybe the Beckham's will rock this look in a few months and it will be all the rage. Here's your chance to be ahead of the curve.

What about a ceramic spikey tooth like thingy for your wall? Mantle? Hang off your rear view mirror? Carry in your purse to ward off attackers? Seriously, Pottery Barn, what is this thing?

And of course, mermen village people. If this isn't a WTF Christmas present, I don't know what is. 

What's my all time WTF Christmas present you ask? Well, I say this with all the love in the world, but one X-mas morning I woke up and unwrapped a present from my brother: "Grumpier Old Men." That's right, the sequel. No, my brother and I didn't share any fond memories of the first or second GOM movie. His response: "It's funny!" Oh, Mike.

I was on my way to meet Jeff and Angel after the movie, Gingerbread latte (for Jeff) and snowman cookie (for Angel) in hand, when out of the corner of my eye.... a blue dress at the Limited! In the color I want for my bridesmaids! Well... it's no harm to try it on right?

Well, I did. And I bought it. It was $62 and I checked online and it's only $59 with free shipping. I'm going to meet up with the girls and have them try it on. Hopefully they like it! Here it is on the mannequin: 

Is it the world's most amazing dress? No. Do I like it as much as the one that didn't fit? No. But it's under $60 and it's the color I want, so.... yeah! Let's see how it looks.

Thoughts? Hope you all had a good Thanksgiving!

Dream jobs

A lot of my friends seem in various levels of disappointment/distaste/dissatisfaction with their jobs. Some of them don't have jobs at all. Some of them just got laid off.  Whatever way you put it, it sucks and I feel sad for them that they can't be happy in their careers considering how highly I think of them.

It got me thinking about how lucky I am because I really truly love my job. If you had asked me when I left my last job what I wanted my next job to be, it would be the job I have now. No, seriously. The only thing I would tweak is that it would be nice to see my coworkers face to face, but let's be real... working in your pajamas ain't too bad either.

I was talking to Katie tonight and I think there are a few different reasons my friends don't like their jobs. Some of it is normal stress that comes with any job. I have it too ... I work long hours sometimes, and sometimes things don't go my way. But that's life. Some of it is stress going on outside the job that affects the job itself. Sometimes they are under-appreciated or underpaid or they have a terrible boss. And sometimes they just hate their jobs.

I really firmly believe you don't have to hate your job or take a job you don't want. I've only had one job I truly hated: the month I worked writing hockey cards for Upper Deck. I hated it because I was doing the exact same thing every day, I wasn't allowed to be creative and what I was doing I wasn't interested in at all. I really liked the people I worked with though, and I got paid a decent wage. But I couldn't stand to stay there longer than the month I did. So I did everything I could to get out, and I did, finding a job as a sports reporter. And I stayed at that job as long as I enjoyed it. Then I left.

I made it my mission for over eight months to get my current job. Before I was offered this job, I was offered a job for a Boston book publisher. My job would have involved reading, editing and producing textbooks. I didn't want the job at all, I was just fearful I wouldn't get my current job and I needed money. I was put in a position where I had to decide to turn down that job without being officially offered anything from my current job. It was a tough choice to make but again, it wasn't really. I wanted to find a job I was really happy with. And I made sacrifices to make that happen, even if it means I'm still righting the financial ship after six months of unemployment.

I'm not sure what I'm getting at here. I'm not trying to make it sound like I try harder than anyone. I know one of my friends has tried as hard as he could and can't seem to catch a break. And I know how hard dream jobs are to come by in these times. 

But I would like my faithful blog readers to let me know what your dream job is in the comments, and then I want you to think about why you don't have that job. Maybe think about getting that job in 2009.

I mean 'dream job' as in a realistic thing. Obviously I'd love to be a VP with a private jet and an infinite bank account. My current job is my dream job of the moment. I want to stay put at the company I'm at indefinitely and my dream is to go up as far as possible. 

So give it up. 

Backtracking

It hasn't been the best couple of days (clearly) and I've neglected to keep you updated of my life so you can zone out at work.

Thursday night I went out for my brothers' birthday, taking me to my unexplainable chain restaurant obsession: Chilis. I love Chilis and I'm not ashamed to say it. Their chicken tacos make me feel warm and fuzzy. 

After dinner we went to go see the new James Bond movie, which wasn't nearly as bad as some of my favorite critics made it out to be. I spent most of the movie trying to figure out if I find Daniel Craig attractive, and if so, is he more attractive than the Bond girl (the brunette, not the redhead). Verdict: Push. Sometimes he's squinting and sticking his lips out and I think that he looks like the male Renee Zellweger. And then other times, I'm thinking, yeah, he's handsome. Oh,  what about the movie you ask? It was fine. It was a Bond movie, Bourne movie, action movie, etc etc. It was like the McDonald's dollar menu sundae I had after it -- good enough.

Friday afternoon....

Friday night. Jeff and I cuddled on the bed and watched all the Thursday night TV we missed: Office, 30 Rock and Kitchen Nightmares. Some of the best episodes of the season, I thought.

We had to get up relatively early on Saturday morning and brave the absolutely FRIGID temperatures to go cover two HS soccer games (I covered the first, he covered the second.) I loaded up on the layers in preparation that there might not be a press box, to the point that I looked like the Stay-Puft marshmallow woman dipped in various shades of green (lime green jacket, dark green winter cap). I looked... ridiculous. Thankfully, there was a press box with a small space heater that made it much more bearable than being outside. When I had to go down to the field for interviews, my hand froze up while taking quotes. It's been a while since I've been that cold. I have to give it up to the girls and the people who sat in the metal stands. I had it easy -- but damn, it was cold.

Jeff and I went to the nearest Panera to write our stories. My computer was being frustratingly and unusually slow, so I tried a reboot while I went to get a broccoli cheddar soup and bread bowl (yummmmm....) When I got back my computer still hadn't started up, so I knew something was wrong. Now, my MacBook is only six months old. I shouldn't have any problems. I couldn't get it to start past the original screen. So I started to panic a bit, seeing as I had to start work by 6.

I got home at about 5:55 and immediately got on the phone with Apple Care. After an hour and several different tests, it was recommended that I bring my computer in to get it looked at. Well, great, it's 7 p.m. (I'm already an hour late on my shift).. when exactly am I going to bring it in? I check the online appointment times for the Apple store 50 minutes away, and they aren't early enough for me to get there before my shift on Sunday. So my knight in shining Schaible volunteers to bring in my computer for me on Sunday ... after the Pats game.

Sunday afternoon we go out for lunch at our new favorite Sunday spot, where, even though we've only been there twice before, our waitress already knows what we want (Two buffalo chicken sandwiches). We watch the first half of the game there and the second half at home. (Go Pats! Wildcat, mildcat.) Jeff takes my computer around 5 and I wait anxiously to hear from him. If they can't fix it Sunday (they couldn't), it means I have to go back into the city on Monday and the store doesn't  open until 10 ... and my shift starts at 11 ... yikes. 

So I wasn't going to wait for them to call me, I got into the city at the opening of the store. And ... it wasn't ready. Wasn't going to be ready until 1-3. I had to scramble, asking the Apple store guy where the biggest library nearby was, and found the Newton public library. I ended up there for over six hours, on the world's slowest computer with the world's ickiest keyboard. I didn't want to leave less I lose the computer, so I never got anything to eat. Most people who know me know how much of a stressful situation that would be :)

FINALLY, at 4:15 they called me and said it was ready. I rushed back to the mall, grabbed a roast beef sandwich and got back home in minimal traffic at 6ish. 

Monday night ....

This morning I woke up with all intentions of going to the gym before my shift. It didn't happen. Most people have gotten my save the dates by now! so I can unveil them here....

Cheesy, I know. But isn't all wedding stuff by nature?

Speaking of cheesy, tonight I tried my hand at buffalo chicken calzones as a thank you to Jeff for being so great the past few days. I first got the idea off Sabrina's blog ... and it seemed pretty idiot proof, until I realized I had no rolling pin to flatten the dough. How could I forget -- one of Jeff's special talents is working up a pizza dough from his high school days as a pie slinger at Papa John's. So he worked out the dough for me and I prepared the filling, and we made the two biggest calzones I've ever seen. (I only ate half). I would make a few tweaks the second time around but for the most part it was a success!!

Now Jeff and I are watching SVU. Only two days until Thanksgiving!

Let's not talk

There will be a hiatus on this blog for an undetermined length time when it comes to wedding talk. It's gotten to the point where the conversations have bordered on sour, sad and hurtful and those are three words I don't want to associate with what I want to be the happiest day of my life.

At the end of the day, as selfish as it sounds, this wedding is about me. Well, it's me and the man I will stand on the edge of a beach on a mid-summer evening vowing to spend the rest of my life with. The man who covers me in his arms and blankets when I'm sad, saying and doing everything he can to make the sadness go away. The man, who says he'd be more than happy to spend the rest of his days just with me. The man who will be my husband.

Believe it or not, that day is important to me. It's important to me that I'm surrounded by the people who care about us most, by family and friends. Friends who drop what they're doing to comfort me on the phone (thanks JA) and help me put it in perspective. 

It's all about perspective. I'm so lucky to have what I have, to have the people I do in my life. Hopefully the sour, sad and hurtful will sort itself out. I'm hopeful about it. 

Until then.

Varsity Blech.

Last night, while at the gym, I was scanning the channels for something I could daze off to (yes, my gym has tvs IN the cardio equipment ... changed my life) and I happened upon "Varsity Blues." I hadn't seen this movie in probably 5-7 years, but like most --- let's call it what it is --- terrible movies, it stays with you. Jeff and I spent the next 45 minutes giggling at each other from various machines, mouthing lines and, I'm sure, annoying everyone.

We continued watching it when we got home, and by the end, I had determined that it might be the most stereotypical sports movie of all time. It almost feels like a parody of Friday Night Lights (the movie, not the TV show), which is ironic, since it came out five years before. (Of course, the book FNL came out a decade before that.)

Let's run down the list of stereotypes:

(Main folks)

1. Star quarterback. Good guy, (scholarship to FSU!), goes down with knee injury. Tres sad.

2. Backup quarterback. Aw shucks guy, forced into spotlight, excels and faces temptations.

3. Cue: skanky cheerleader with a heart of gold (She just wants outta this town!) and gravity defying whipped cream skillz.

4. Backup QBs girlfriend. Mousy cute girl (see: scrunchie), she will get stepped on, ultimately forgive boyfriend for being an a-hole.

5. Ruthless small Texas town football coach. He runs the place, cops are afraid of him, has a Saddam Hussein-like statue of himself outside the school. (How creepy is Jon Voight in this movie?!? Is it just me?! You kinda get the feeling he could really be this way in real life. Shudder.)

(Side folks)

1. White wide receiver. Perv. Drunk. Perv. My inner-feminist was gagging that his creepyness is supposed to pass for humor. As if.

2. Black wide receiver. Ruthless coach keeping him down. Averages 133 yards a game and only has three touchdowns! Shame!

3. Fat offensive lineman. Named: BillyBob. For real. Like most fat guys in movies, you feel for him, even though he too, is a perv.

4. Sex education teacher who moonlights as a stripper. Sigh. We'll come back to this.

5. Dumb dads who's goals in life is to get their boys on the football team.

I think that about covers us. We've hit on pretty much every character from a sports movie, while at the same time getting most characters from any teen movie. The story goes as you might think, star QB goes down, backup QB get in and thrives, while at the same time rallying against Ruthless Football Coach. Meanwhile, he's tempted by skanky cheerleader, but for the most part remains faithful to mousy girlfriend. It comes down to the final play ... and touchdown! Fade to black.

Along the way there are a series of implausible events that occur, which happens of course in most movies, but I think this might have been at the dawn of movies of the "F it" era, where plots didn't have to work, as long as there were a lot of rapid shots and hot girls.

Football implausibles:

1. We've got Billy Bob, a 350 pound beast, playing on the offensive line as opposed to nose tackle. Most HS players go both ways, but it doesn't appear Billy Bob does. He's also not the center, fine, maybe he doesn't have the hands for snapping. He's also not guarding the weakside. When he passes out, QB fails to recognize and in poor football judgement, allows himself to get laid out. No way the team wins a district championship every year with these poor football skills.

2. Players are launching from outer space on these tackles. There's about 100 unflagged helmet-to-helmet hits in this game. I got six concussions just watching this movie.

3. The team adopts a spread offense after they get rid of their coach, which for some reason, works like they're the 2007 Patriots. Meanwhile, the other team fails to call any time outs and lets the 'good guys' run the most effective two minute drill of all time.

4. They also block a punt in which Billy Bob lays out the middle of the field while white WR blocks the kick. If this worked this well every time, no one would get a punt off against them -- ever.

5. The final play they run is the hook and ladder, in which their super secret code is the player-coach sticking his finger in his mouth and pulling sideways. (I would love to see Bill Bellichick adopt this play calling strategy: laying his hand out and flicking on the flea flicker, holding his arm straight up on the statue of liberty, mimicking a pass on the fake field goal, etc. Can we do this against the Jets?) Their 350-pound lineman, who thinks his job on the play is to run down field like he's confused, somehow is the best person for this job, and he carries about seven players into the endzone.

Teacher implausible:

Somehow, their sex education teacher's night job is stripping ... and NO ONE KNOWS. How is this possible? Is stripping normally an anonymous profession? Are background checks lacking at this school? How is it that the owners at the strip club know exactly who the boys are but there aren't any local pervs who have noticed a school teacher is an exotic dancer? What I find funny, is that she actually seems to feel awkward when she sees them there. Of course, now that the boys know she's a stripper, feel welcome to make sexual advances towards her. This Texas town's school system is is a well-oiled machine! Somehow, backup QB still manages to get into Brown in what I can only imagine is another knock on Rhody's Ivy League school.

And finally, whipped cream bikini implausible:

I'm not even going to argue that it's implausible to have a whipped cream bikini without it melting or sliding off. I'm not going to argue that it seems more likely she had a meringue bikini, or a whipped egg white bikini the way that thing held form. And I'm not going to roll my eyes that she managed to make out with backup QB without any of the whipped cream getting on his shirt. I have one issue, and it's with the cherries. These are the world most gravity defying fruit. When she sits down, and leans over on the couch, they're still there!! Why? Did they need to be? No, they just didn't care. 

Side note: when this scene came on in the gym, I got turned around a creepy guy was staring at the screen, then me with a "what the heck are you watching and what channel is it on" look. Yuck.

So should you rent Varsity Blues because I just dedicated 800 words and a half an hour of my life to writing this? Probably not. And there's so much more I could say, (Dawson as Mox --WTF?, "I don't want your life" catchphrase) But that doesn't mean I won't flip it on in another 5-7 years and relive the ridiculousness all over again.

November 18

You know when, after Halloween sometime, you walk into a mall and it's like Christmas threw up everywhere? There's red, green and silver every where you look and you're thinking, "Damn, when did it become Christmas time?" Then the commercials start soon after, and you're looking at your bank account, budgeting holiday funds, squinting real hard to find Christmas spirit among the ever decreasing number?

I didn't make it to the mall. Sometime last week, Christmas got sick all over my apartment.

My name is Emily, and I'm the wife-to-be of a Christmas fanatic.

He broke out the Advent calender a two weeks ago. He bought this thing last year and spent many nights crafting tiny crayon and construction paper "instructions" ... he didn't quite finish all 25 because they got increasingly complicated. He finished them a few days ago.

The Advent calendar.

OK, I sort of love the penguin. It's one of my favorites.

The snowman ain't that bad, either.

I had no idea he was such an artist! ;)

Apparently, this is what I'll be doing Dec. 18.

Last Thursday, after I returned home from urgent care, I passed out on the couch due to lack of sleep and a double dose of benadryl. When I woke up, I felt like I was in Santa's workshop.

I don't even know where he got some of this stuff! There are at least a dozen snowmen in my house, and I don't know how they got here. We have a tiny shovel on the wall that says "Snow Days Welcome" (they aren't) and Jeff came home a few nights ago with a Santa doormat. "It was only three dollars!!!"

We have stockings, too.

And then there it was. The Christmas tree stand. Empty.

"When do you want to go get the tree?" he asked, clearly excited. "We won't be here that long to enjoy it."

"We're not leaving to go to South Carolina until the 23rd of December!" I said.

Listen, I love Christmas. I get annoyed when people say it's a commercial holiday. I like spending time with the people I love. I commit a good deal of time to thinking about thoughtful presents. It's one of my favorite things to do.

But Christmastime starts, for me, the day after Thanksgiving. 

Jeff is making me feel like the Grinch. And I don't mean to be. It's just ... it's just too early.

It's one of the things I love about him though. He gets SO EXCITED about little things. It's cute. It really is.

But it will be cuter on November 28. Until then, bah.

Silver linings

Yesterday ... yesterday was not such a great day for me. But since I'm a glass-half-full kind of girl, I realize yesterday wasn't THAT bad of a day -- just stunk considering how well things have been going for me lately.

Part I -- I woke up at about 4 a.m. with a BURNING in my throat that was like heartburn times ten. It started in my throat every minute or so, then radiated out into my chest. I thought it was the 'burn, so I took a few Rolaids and tried to go back to bed. No luck. So around 6 a.m. I took some advil, wondering if it was just a really sore throat, but again ... no luck. Around 10 a.m. I started to get itchy and was wondering if I wasn't having an allergic reaction. I've never had one before to anything, but I did start a new medication two weeks ago, and the doctor told me it takes a few weeks to work into your system. 

I decided to call Jeff to see if he could come home from work and take me to urgent care, and he could. (Side note: Telling your bosses 'My fiance is having chest pains, can I go home?' is usually a given, 'yes.') So Jeff and I went off to the doctor and when I got into the office and took off my jacket, I realized I had big itchy welts on my arms and legs. Not good.

They confirmed it WAS probably an allergic reaction and I should stop taking the medication, which stinks because that particular medication was working well for what I needed it for (vague much?) They gave me a prescription for a benedryll type drug and a steroid to stop the swelling in my throat. I felt better almost immediately, but the burning in my throat hasn't completely disappeared.

I was actually pretty disappointed I now have an answer to the question, "do you have any allergies?" I thought God either cursed you with a weak stomach or allergies, and I got the weak stomach -- no fair to have both!!

Silver lining?: Well, it wasn't that bad and could have been a lot worse, as allergic reactions can be. Despite the fact that I had crop circle-like red spots all over my body (TMI?) it wasn't overly itchy. The worst part was the balls of my feet swelled, but even that wasn't bad. Also, Jeff was home with me all day, which is always nice. Good that this happened on my day off too. I'm hoping the reaction was to the medication and not something else. I don't *think* I had anything I hadn't had before and there were no detergents or lotions I had that were new, so it must have been? Also STEROIDS -- this will be so good for my workouts! Kidding :)

Part II -- I had been planning for a while to go down to RI and meet my cousin Sarah to see if we could have the bridesmaids dresses altered. Since I was going to be paying for the alterations, I wanted to see how much it would cost -- see if it was more of a pain to have it altered, because I really liked the dress, or if it was just going to be easier to return them and start over. My ceiling was about $50 and I wasn't overly optimistic we could have it done for that price -- or if the alteration could be done at all. I was also worried that the store wouldn't let us return the dresses as the receipts said 'All sales are final' despite the fact we were told we could exchange them if they didn't fit.

Well the first place we went to -- they pulled and poked and determined it could be altered, but that it wouldn't be a breeze -- and it would cost $100 for each of the two dresses I needed altered. Ugh. So Sarah suggested a different seamstress, that she had been going to for years. She told us that she could alter the dress as is for $80+ but that if we could exchange it for a bigger size, it would be easier to take it in than let it out, and she would charge $50. In the end, I determined this would be too much of a hassle, and was hoping we could just return the dress and start over.

Silver lining?: Well, Sarah called this morning and they are going to let us return the dress ... so phew. Also, it was nice to spend the evening with my cousin, have dinner and a really nice chat! The benadryll didn't affect me too hard and I was able to hold a conversation, haha. I'm going to hold off on an immediate re-search for new dresses, although this one at JCrew has caught my eye -- LOVE the color. It's $250, which is too much, but it has to go on sale right?

Hey moddel -- move ur armz! Ur coverin' the prettay.

PART III -- I got home just in time to watch the Pats game. It was a great game ... but we lost!!! Two crushing, close losses in a row that really came down to a stupid penalty -- again. We're the least penalized team in the league but when we have one of our defensive leaders holding on a third down in the red zone, we're not going to win. So disappointing. These are the games when NFL fans cry -- can we have college overtime rules please? Hate when it comes down to the coin toss!

Silver lining?: Hard to find ... but it was nice to see Cassel lead a come-from-behind charge. Also, our schedule still favors us and we've split the series with the Jets. If we can win out the division we should still have a good chance to make the playoffs.

***

This weekend will be work, work, work. I work 6-2 a.m. both Saturday and Sunday for the WWL, and I will also be covering games for the Globe both days. Jeff and I will have covered 11 stories for the Globe combined in November when this is all said and done. I'm thinking of putting up a "The Werschaible wedding partially sponsored by ... The Boston Globe" at our wedding. ;)