Suck it up.

I've been engaged for nine months now. During that time I've gone into full bride mode, soaking up message boards, television shows, magazines, gabbing to fellow brides for an inordinate amount of time.

Last week, I was observing a message board and the topic was "Wedding related pet peeves." I clicked and waited for the drama to ensue. Because people REALLY DON'T LIKE to hear that people are unimpressed/annoyed/hating on components of their wedding. People are sensitive about that stuff, and rightly so. Many people set up their wedding as a spectacle, less for the purpose of marriage, but more for blowing people away. It's an impossible task. You're going to annoy SOMEONE, insult SOMEONE. 

The first bitch was "brown tuxedos." Brown tuxedos? Never bothered me one bit. But I know a lot of people have them, so I thought for sure there would be backlash.

It. Never. Happened.

People started posting en masse. I guess it was cathartic. One girl posted something along the lines that she had almost everything at her wedding that was listed above but that she was happy, and she'd guess she'd have to put on her "big girl panties." Ha. Awesome.

So without further ado, wedding trends that irritate me. If you can't put on your big girl panties, or will attempt to read into this one iota, please don't read on. 

• Tiaras. Really? A tiara? What is this, your quinceanera? Are you Miss America? I cringe when I see them. You are not Barbie. Buy a nice hairclip and call it a day.
• Overly complicated invitations. I got three invitations this summer. They consisted of a notecard with the time and location of the event. You'll never believe this next part ... I attended each event, on time, found my own accommodations and figured out their registries all on my own! Why waste paper and postage with a whole lot of unnecessary information. Sure it's nice. But most likely people are going to throw it away. Save yourself the time and the postage. Make a web site.
• Asking people to be your bridesmaids that aren't your friends. Every other day on message boards I hear people say "So and so bridesmaid dropped out of my wedding." Really? Was this person your friend or were you trying to fill a quota? (Put that aside as a separate peeve -- don't ask people to be your bridesmaid because you want 'even sides.') So they either weren't your friend or you were ...
• Taking advantage of your bridal party. My friend Sarah came up from Florida last week. She's a bridesmaid in her brother's wedding. Money she has spent so far or will spend in the future: $300 on her bridesmaids dress, $50 on the matching dyeable shoes, $100+ on airbrushed makeup and hair (I asked, "Is she making you go?" and she said, "What am I gonna do? Sit at home by myself?" Good point.), she threw a wedding shower for 100 people ($300?), $500 on a BACHELORETTE PARTY CRUISE, a shower gift and a wedding gift. A-mazing. Who forces that upon their FRIENDS? Look, I know bridesmaids, when accepting, know they will be taking on a financial responsibility. That doesn't mean they are your personal bank.
• Going crazy for favors. No one cares.
• Grooms who go casual. Sneakers? Really? Baseball caps? Your bride spent HOURS getting ready, shoved themselves into a dress that was too tight, shoes that are too high and hair that is making their scalp bleed and you can't wear a suit for a few hours? Plz.
• Brides who have contempt for their guests. This includes brides who have inordinately long wait times between their ceremony and reception (I'm talking 2+ hours) so they can take pictures however long they want or say things like "They can go get a drink." Why should they have to do that? Spend MORE money to attend your wedding? This also includes brides who's excuse for no open bar is "I don't want my guests getting drunk on my dime." Whatever, dude. Do you even want them there? Do them a favor, save them the money, don't invite them. They are your GUESTS, you should make them as comfortable as humanly possible.
• Head tables. Let your BP sit with their families/significant others. 

Gosh, there are so many more that I can't think of right now. And before you think it to yourself, let me get it out of the way. My wedding isn't perfect. Here are the ways I could possible be annoying my guests.

• A wedding smack dab in the middle of summer heat -- with an outdoor ceremony. 
• In the most expensive city in Rhode Island -- if you want to stay there (and you'll have to stay two nights because there are no one-night hotels) you'll probably be spending $400 on lodging alone.
• Stations. 1. Trendy. 2. Who wants to carry their food around?
• CDs as favors. Well aren't YOU pretentious? I'll be sure to throw that away almost immediately.

Comes on my fellow brides and wedding attendees, what bothers you?