High school low

I used to cover high school sports. 

Within the nature of the job, I spent a good deal of after-school time in the general vicinity of high school kids. Inevitably, I'd overhear conversations and be transported to high school dramas, where everything was just of life-threatening importance. I'd laugh of course, knowing how little the topics they were obsessing over would matter to them in five or so years. I'd hope not anyway.

I found an old friend through facebook and we exchanged a few messages. She mentioned how she purposely avoided all people from our high school after graduation and never really reconnected with anyone. We talked a little about how unhappy high school could be at times, and how much time we spent not being ourselves. 

I agreed with her. I was very eager to leave Rhode Island after college. I'm not sure I would have come into my own if I had stayed. You don't really know who you are until you remove yourself from your comfort zone. For me, anyways.

Of course, I wasn't totally alone in Boston. I had a few acquaintances that made the move to the city as well, and of course my high school boyfriend, who went to Boston University. It wasn't until we broke up that I popped the high school bubble, started an 'adult' life.

I think all the readers of this blog can agree that any and all high school drama they experienced would only generate laughs now. I tried hard and fell short of being cool. Being part of the marching band probably didn't help that. I had friends, some fantastic, and some not so good. One of the lessons I learned in life is that friendships are all about quality and not quantity. Once I learned this, I stopped fighting with the best ones. I hope not to jinx this, but I haven't had a fight with a good friend in many, many years...

So when do we grow up? When should we say to ourselves with certainty "this are the things that will matter down the road"? I don't know if I'm ready to say that yet. I try my best to be myself at all times, and my life is much easier now. And to take a mushy aside, I was myself in front of Jeff from the very beginning, and that's why I love him so much. It was so easy.

When you are yourself all the time, you know the people who hang around you like you for no superficial reasons. I had some friends in high-school that ran so hot and cold with me, and there's nothing worse than feeling uncomfortable around your friends. I'm sure I treated some people that way too. 

I know people say 'I try to live my life without regrets' but if I have one, it would be to go back in time and relive high school. Worry less about socializing, and more on my grades. I much more regret my lack of scholarships than I fondly remember high school parties. It was all so silly, and what was the point? To act older than we were, to collect friends like trading cards, to be part of a crowd that, looking back, doesn't impress me at all? 

Bah. What a waste of time. 

I wanted to tell these teenagers all this. I wanted to snap the cellphones out of their rapidly moving fingers and say, "It doesn't matter if this boy likes you. In five years, you'll be graduating college and he'll be a busboy." My best friend Katie was entangled in a be-all, end-all drama over a boy when we were younger. Sides were taken, tears were shed. That boy just got arrested for racketeering and the other girl involved has two beautiful children with another man. I'm sure similar situations occur a million times a day.

Of course, I didn't say anything to the high schoolers. It's not often you appreciate perspectives from a stranger.

My old friend said to me "I didn't like who I was in high school. I was sad and moody all the time."

This surprised me. I wrote back:

"I don't know what you're talking about, I always liked you in high school."

What did we know?