At the movies with Emily and Jeff: Up in the Air/Random thoughts in my head (bonus headline characters edition!!)

(Warning: I'm feeling like I'm about to ramble. Nobody wants to read a blog post by me that's more than 50 wor-- right there, most people will have stopped right there. Given it a scroll down, said, 'No thanks' and moved right back to googling porn. Thanks for stopping by, feel free to leave a comment!)

Jeff and I had an Avatar vs. Up in the Air standoff that started right around the new year. We stood our ground, crossed our arms and pouted over which we'd see first. I'll give you a guess on which sides of the fence we were on in the battle of the geeky, CGI-laden 3D action movie and the film starring the wrinkles around George Clooney's eyes.

We saw Avatar first. Here's my review of Avatar. (Ahem)

At the movies with Emily and Jeff: Avatar

Eh.

Moving on to 'Up in the Air.' Some movies you go to and are pleasantly surprised you like them. District 9 was one for me. Some you go expecting to like and you hate, and some you know you'll enjoy and you do. That's called $21 well spent. ($26 if you buy the coke so large you need two hands to hold it.)

'Up in the Air' added a bonus category for me: movie that feels very apropos of the mood you're in at the moment.

Mini-non-spoilerish synopsis for those who know nothing about the movie: George Clooney plays a single guy who travels around the country firing people. He's happy with his single life and he meets a counterpart in Alex (played by Vera Farmiga looking older than she does in real life). They make each other happy in the periodic spurts in which they exist. Then there's Anna Kendrick's 23-year-old plucky just out of college chick who thinks she knows what she wants and has a perfect vision of life that comes crashing down when she hits the how-they-say real world.

I felt like I could relate to every character in the movie and it had some really great lines, a la Juno.

I've never had a clear idea of what exactly what I want to do with my life ('I don't know what kind of girl I am') or where I want to be or who I want to be. All I know is that I've never wanted to settle or stand still for too long, yet I want to hold the people closest to me as near as possible and never lose them. It's not about being unhappy with what you have, it's about thinking of ways you could be happier. Checking things off the list and moving things from the bad pile to to the good one.

I'll probably drive myself crazy-miserable living that way. So every day I have to tell myself how lucky I am, how I have a husband, friends and job I love. The issues is holding onto the things you love through your shifting life.

I'm stuck in an amalgam of a quarter-life crisis along with seasonal affective disorder with a dash of restlessness. Jeff can attest to this, and he's given me nightly pep talks trying to support me in my decision to do... whatever it is I want to decide to do in the next 15 minutes before I give up, make a joke and fall asleep.

Kendrick's 23-year-old character in 'Up in the Air' reminds me of how I felt coming out of college. I wanted to be a hot shot, but I also wanted to work for what I got, and I moved very quickly to where I am now. (Fortunately, I don't have a job that makes people want to kill themselves!) I alternate between wanting more, immediately, and being perfectly content. The latter I can attribute to the fact that I really enjoy working with the people I do -- the former I attribute to my ambition.

(I told you I was going to ramble).

More rambling: Clooney's character in the movie plays a knowing, slightly-condescending counterpart to Kendrick. My experience in life, and I said this to a group of women I went out with last night, is that no one thinks they're immature for their age. Everyone thinks they're wise beyond their years. That allows us to judge other people. It's a wonderful cycle. I always say to myself how if I could go back and slap 14 year old Emily in the face, I probably would (It probably wouldn't hurt though, I have weak arms). But 14-year-old Emily wouldn't care what I had to say, she'd be more worried about the life or death matter concerning that cute boy with the bowl haircut and nice smile.

I find myself saying aloud lately, "What do I know?" So if I don't know shit as a 26 year old, does that mean I should be listening more to 38-year olds and the wisdom they have to offer?Or as shown in the movie, do you really never learn how to live life, but only to regret the things you did when you were younger and wish you could go back and live life again with the wisdom you have now? Does anyone know anything of value? Is this couch I'm sitting on even real? WELL IS IT?

Sigh. Maybe we should get back to the movie.

I really liked it. Here's a quote that stuck with me:

*****

Ryan Bingham: I thought I was a part of your life.

Alex Goran: I thought we signed up for the same thing... I thought our relationship was perfectly clear. You are an escape. You're a break from our normal lives. You're a parenthesis.

Ryan Bingham: I'm a parenthesis?

****

Brilliant. And my attempt to tie this all together ...

... I think you can want a lot in your life and you can imagine all the ways your life could be better, that you could be happier. But, those dreams are always going to be half-reality, half-fantasy. I could be an NFL writer, which is a theoretical dream, but I know there are many, many downsides to that lifestyle (and also, a similar on the road lifestyle as in the movie).

But having parenthesis are nice as long as you don't expect them to exist perfectly in reality, because they will never as be the vision that you hope. But they can be great. They can be your dreams. They can be comfort. They can be support. They get you through the day and make you smile. They get you up the next morning and be the first thing in your head. In fact, there's a great song about being someone else's parenthesis.

They're just hard to fit in your life. Your actual life.

This could be the worst thing I've ever written. It sounded nice in my head though as I pieced it together on the ride home.

38-year-old Emily could totally write better than this.

(If you made it to the end of this, leave a comment will ya. Even if it's to encourage me not to blog at 1 a.m.)

You can only do the best with what's given

Has it really been over two months since I've blogged about anything? I don't know who I expect to answer that rhetorical question. It's not a hard question to answer. Last I posted was Nov. 18... that was two months ago.

So the answer, Emily, is yes, it's been over two months since you've blogged. And how about them Jets?

If anything's become abundantly clear in the last two months it's that I miss writing. Very much so. Even if it's writing about nothing, which is basically what I do here.

It appears I missed the cut-off for any end of the year lists, but my bests and worsts are as follows.

BESTS: District 9, Inglorious Basterds, Precious, I Love You, Man, my wedding make-up, The Killers in concert, True Blood, Friday Night Lights, The Lost season 5 finale, Gordon Ramsay's in London, that night in NYC, that day I got married, Away We Go, that week I spent out of the country, rediscovering Led Zeppelin, Seinfeld on Curb Your Enthusiasm, my friends, Wes Welker, my rehearsal dinner, when I switched from 'toasted almond' back to 'french vanilla,' You can find me at Ted's, The Hangover, my iPhone, my success in introducing live chat software at my job, hanging out more with the people I work with in person, that one The Invention of Lying joke that made me laugh so hard I cried, becoming a little more feminist, Les Miserables in London, losing 20 pounds, Rhoos, my google reader, mimosas, paying off our credit cards, my new haircut, my Coach bag, Jeff's Christmas mix, my syndicated blog post, my first pedicure, Jeff's wedding vows, UP, Mad Men, Naveen Andrews.

WORSTS: That time I almost considered renting 'Twilight,' our flight to London, people asking me how married life is, New Year's Eve, Fenway when it's cold and raining, gaining 10 pounds back, Facebook morons, the two and a half hours of my life I've spent crying at 'UP', my free time, the fall of the Boston Globe, going for it on fourth and 2 from your own red zone, the National Guard ad they run before movies, the rental car place not having the car you reserved, Wii Fit, Pineapple Express, Righteous Kill, Step Brothers, not getting to eat at the wedding, Watchmen, blog posts that are overly 'linky.'

More good than bad. That's all one can hope for in life right?

Er, that's not the greatest mantra is it? I have high hopes for 2010.

Step 1: Write more.

An open letter

Dear Everyone I Love,

I know I haven't been around much lately. And it's not because you smell (you do.)

It's just, it's football season, and if you didn't learn last year, that means I sort of drop of the face of the planet until February.

I know some of you are bristling. I don't call you enough. I ignore your attempts for contact. When you speak to me, I stare right through your face like I am listening, but I am most definitely not. And that's just my husband.

My hands are permanently attached to my keyboard and my computer has grafted itself to my lap. Even when I'm not working I find hard to get up from this machine. I try to catch up on my google reader, which calls to me with its numbers, guilting me for ignoring it, a failure of consequence. I die a little every time I "mark all as read."

I got out to NYC a few weeks ago, which you read about below. That was nice. I'm not sure I've seen the sun since, and considering this vampire stuff is hot right now, it probably just appears that I'm going for the trendy pasty white look.

I'm not unhappy. Quite the opposite. I love a challenge.

But I've failed you all. I think about you every day, about how I should call you, but I don't want to bore you with my one-note life. Please don't take it personally.

I miss you. And I'll see you on February 8th.

Love, Emily

If I can make it there, I'll make it...

I'm a week late in blogging, per usual, but I did have to say I thoroughly enjoyed my trip to NYC last week.

We got to the city (we drove in) around 11:30 in relative ease, and our parking garage was reasonably priced (for NYC) and we headed over to drop off our bags at our hotel and explore the city!

First of all, I'm not sure how people survived before smart phones because my iPhone was so helpful in helping us small town folk manuever the city. Urban Spoon led us to an adorable little well priced restaurant which of course I can't remember the name of. Jeff had some mini sliders and I had a brie and apple sangwich which was yummy. Our plan was then to walk to Central Park, but my head strong husband insisted that he was going the right way until we found ourselves on 25th street, most definitely heading in the wrong direction. So, of course, I was miserable, itchy leg had started, and we were facing a roughly 40 block walk to Central Park.

In an attempt to salvage the afternoon, Jeff suggested we take a bus, which was fine, and we wandered around Central Park, a place I'd never been despite numerous trips to the city. We attempted to find the "Imagine" circle, but had no luck. Finally, we decided to cab it back to the hotel and get ready for our big night out!

Our hotel, ACE on Broadway was a rec from my blogging buddy Jessica, who's friend Sean worked there and hooked us up with a deal. Well, I should say, I thought it was a deal from the get-go but when we got there, were told we were upgraded and actually saw our room we were BLOWN AWAY. Ch-check it out.

These pictures don't really accurately show how HUGE our room was as it had a separate bed/sitting/dining area and was probably close to 400 sq. feet. Everything was brand new and hipster and we felt a little bit swankier just by being there.

We didn't have a lot of time to drool over the room as we were meeting Jessica and her husband Jesse, as well as Zach of groomsman fame, over at Otto on 5th Ave. We decided to walk down there, which was fun, and when we got there the JMJs were already there. We said our hellos and my name is-es, and Zach arrived shortly later. Dinner was OK, but the wine came in a big glass and the conversation was great and I left the restaurant thinking, "Boy, I sure am in a good mood." You know what I mean?

Zach kindly drove us to Carnegie Hall where we saw.... Ricky Gervais!!! The dude who opened up for him was actually really funny, and Ricky's schtick was hilarious as usual. He closed the performance by singing "New York, New York" with... Elmo. Truly a once-in-a-lifetime experience!! But that was not all...

Zach then picked us UP from Carnegie Hall, after Jeff and I got a quick dessert, to drive us to meet his lady friend Meg and his cousin and his wife (I should say while we were crossing the street to meet Zach we saw Dr. Drew. I always think a trip to NYC is never complete without seeing a minor celebrity). We then headed down to a bar on 4th street, where his cousin kindly bought us drinks and we had great convo and laughed ALOT, the hallmark to any memorable night.

Miraculously, I didn't get sick despite the copious amounts of rum and coke, so all and all -- it was one of the best nights I've had since we got married. Reminds me how much I love hanging out with my husband (we don't share any days off during football season), how much I love city life, how much I love hanging out with friends, how much I love food, drinking and laughing and how I deserve to treat myself once in a while.

I hope to do it again. Real soon, real soon.

Time capsule: Travel

Sometime in May 2005, I sat hunched over a small garbage bin in the sports department of the Boston Globe. I was dry heaving, gagging. The next day I was getting on a flight to California. I was so insanely nervous about the flight that I was making myself sick.

Taking it back a few weeks, I learned that I'd been accepted into a short conference in California run by the Los Angeles Times, in honor of Jim Murray, where about 25 college students across the country would gather to talk about sports journalism. Acceptance meant everything fully paid except the flight. It was an amazing opportunity I would have been insane to turn down.

But the flight. I hadn't flown since 2000, a band trip to Florida. I don't remember being nervous about that flight -- at least not in the same way I was nervous about this one. I'm not sure what changed in those five years, I'm sure September 11 had something to do with it, but it would be a cop-out to blame it all on that.

I couldn't sleep the night before the 6 a.m. flight, which I was thankfully taking with my best friend Katie. And of course, I made it there fine. I even flew back home solo, and a little kid fell asleep on my arm.

When I was in L.A. I met a girl who would later be a coworker, I was insulted by T.J. Simers, I toured Venice Beach and Hollywood and I learned that dropping Murray's name in conversation would be wildly valuable in future employment situations.

A month after I got back from LA, I flew to the Florida Keys with two of my girlfriends to visit our friend Florida. We had a great time. I saw Miami, Ft. Lauderdale, Key Largo and Key West. While I was in Florida I realized that Jeff guy I had been on and off with was better suited to be on, and from the moment he picked me up from the airport we were never apart again.

In March 2006, Jeff and I flew to San Diego to decide if we wanted to live there. He held my hand on the flight and I told him I loved him for the first time. It was a great trip. We went to Sea World, to Mission Beach and we were in the audience for Jimmy Kimmel Live. It was our first vacation together and at the end of it, we had already found an apartment in San Diego.

In December 2007, Jeff and I flew down to South Carolina to see my mom's newly built house and be with family for Christmas. I don't think I've mentioned it here, but my mother has an amazing house she built with my aunt. It's her dream home, and mine too. It was the first Christmas Jeff and I spent together, and we had lots of family members there. We took a carriage ride of Charleston, made mudslides and enjoyed my aunt and mom's amazing cooking.

I took a break from flying for a while before our honeymoon in July. The anxiety came back, which didn't help compounded with the stress of a wedding. I went to the doctor and they prescribed me Lorazapem. That, the excitement of the trip and the pure happiness I felt got me through the flights. I don't need to recap what happened on my honeymoon in London and Scotland, I've written about it before, but it was probably eight of the greatest days of my life.

The nut graph here, which I've buried, is that some of the best moments of my life were on the other end of a flight. I'm sad to think that it ever held me back from doing something amazing, and I don't want it ever to again.

This is my first time capsule. I'm 26 and pushing through the temptation of a quarter life crisis. It's the first point in my life where I've had to push through and say, "OK, what do I want?" It's so easy to get in a rut, wake up in 30 years and think "What have I done?" It's a cliche fear. But I'm full of cliches.

So as I look forward into my life, I want my writing to hold me accountable. I have lots of goals. Writing is one of them. There are more that I'll put here and maybe look back in pride or shame someday. The first is travel.

Jeff and I are eying a trip to Italy sometime in 2011. It's our No. 1 travel goal. I want to make this happen. I will make it happen. I'm too young to let things get in the way already.

In the next 10 years I have Italy in mind, then Spain, France, Germany, Greece... Jeff wants to go to Ireland. I'll want to go back to London and Scotland again. We can't do it all in 10 years. We don't have to. But I'll have to get started. I don't want anything to hold me back.

Just because

I have a blog in mind for later, I swear, but for now I just need to have this on my blog.

Two weeks ago, Mad Men was craaaazy good. Best episode yet. Last night? Eh. I know it's setting up next week's finale, but I was bored. Betty has absolutely no chemistry with that old dude, Duck just makes me want to yack. I liked the JFK subplot, but I hated the romantic storylines. Also, as we can see from the above picture, there HAS to be more Joan. She needs to be back at Sterling-Cooper PLEASE.

Still: Best show on TV.

Blogging my birthday

Not too much to report around these parts...

... except that I've turned 26 today! This is the first birthday I cringed at a little. 26? 25 sounds so much younger doesn't?

Of course I'm not old, but I'm married now which as someone pointed out on Facebook is like being in my 30s anyway ;)

I keep thinking of this lyric, "You're scared and you're thinking that maybe we ain't that young anymore/Show a little faith there's magic in the night/You ain't a beauty but hey you're alright/That's alright with me."

Just the fact that I'm quoting Bruce Sprinsteen makes me a middle aged man, doesn't it?

Emily's rules to a good birthday

1. There are seven specific people I expect a phone call from on my birthday (not including Jeff): My mom, my dad, my brother, Katie, Meg, Justin and Andrew. 2:41 p.m. and we're batting .000. (Although Katie did hit me up on gchat.)

2. A good meal. Jeff is taking me to the Capital Grille. Need I say more? I looooove it there.

3. A nice card from the husband. Don't cards that start, "Happy Birthday to my wife" just feel so much better? Swoon.

4. A day off. Done.

5. Everything I want and no one gets to argue: Pending.

6. A really fabulous present! I already got a new jacket from my mom when she came to visit last week. I really love it and feel fab in it. Also...

DID I MENTION I GOT AN iPHONE YESTERDAY??

She's so beautiful. We haven't named her yet, but I didn't know true love until I pulled her out of Jeff's back pocket. I've wanted an iPhone since they came into existence, but we had to wait out our Verizon contract and now I have her! She's purple and pink, she's a 3G S, even though I told Jeff he didn't have to get the S.

Seriously, all my old phones pale in comparison. I'm not a materialistic person. I own very few things of real value. So this was very exciting for me!!

Here's our first iPhone pic. I think I've mastered this already!

What's the one thing YOU want for your next birthday?