Weekend in Review

One of Jeff and I's favorite things to do is go see movies. In the five years we've been together, I'd say we've seen hundreds of movies together, both on DVD and in the theaters.

But due to economic circumstances, as well as the total crap that's been in the theaters, it's been a while.

Not this weekend. In the past 24 hours we've taken in three of the biggest movies released in the past few months. Reviews below.

INDIANA JONES AND THE KINGDOM OF THE CRYSTAL SKULL

I'm a huge fan of the Indiana Jones movies. The Last Crusade is one of my favorite movies of all time. The previous three installments were cheeky, slightly campy big action movies with over the top production, slightly ridiculous outcomes where Indiana Jones seemed indestructible with central mystical artifacts that never were quite what they seemed.

With all that said -- why were my friends so angry at what they saw? Had they put the other IJ movies up on some pedestal and forgotten what they were really about? I think so. Twenty years, an iconic actor and soundtrack can really cloud your judgement. Most people don't know, or weren't old enough at the time, to realize Spielberg got BLASTED for Temple of Doom. Most people hated it, thought it was a terrible follow-up. I know it's my least favorite. He then followed it up with Last Crusade, and the trilogy was salvaged.

Sure, Crystal Skull a little bit like Indiana Jones meets Jumanji. Sure, it was a little like the Indiana Jones ride at Disney World. Sure, it seemed like Indiana Jones and his merry men were the Purple Parrots on Legends of the Hidden Temple. And fine, it did seem a little like Spielberg wrapped Jurassic Park, War of the Worlds, and Artificial Intelligence all up into an Indiana Jones movie... but you know what? I like all of those things! (Except War of the Worlds, that movie wasn't just awful, it was an extermination).

All that being said: it wasn't great. It could have been better. I'm not going to lie, I don't see how a series of movies hunts for something from Christian iconography in one movie, and alien iconography in the next. Are they trying to teach us something? Like any God could exist? Somehow, I don't think so. This movie would have been better served searching for something I've actually heard of -- like Noah's Ark, the grave of Muhammed, hell the sword of Zeus -- something!

Other thoughts: Indiana Jones in the only man in the world who can get away with a man purse ... I didn't mind Shia LeBeouf as Indy Jr., but "Mutt" is the best name they could come up with? ... It's one thing to continue character traits between movies (like Indiana Jones hating snakes) but there were a few too many winks to the camera with lines like "Come here ... Junior."

Overall, it wasn't the worst IJ movie. I still think that's Temple of Doom. And if Spielberg can follow up this one with the caliber movie of Last Crusade, I'll be back at the theater. Grade: B

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SEX AND THE CITY

I have a theory about movies: the fewer words you can use to summarize the movie, the worse it is. For example "What Happens In Vegas" : Ashton Kutcher and Cameron Diaz get drunk and accidentally married in Vegas. Stupidity ensues.

See?

Try that with Schindler's list. Not gonna happen. That's like a term paper's worth. 

With that said, I think I could summarize SATC in 100 words or less. Let's try: Movies opens and Carrie and Big decide to get married. Steve cheats on Miranda and they break up. Miranda's comment to Big has him leave Carrie at the altar. The four girls go on Carrie's Mexican vacation. Carrie's upset until Charlotte shits herself. Carrie hires Jennifer Hudson as her assistant to get her life together. Charlotte gets pregnant. Miranda tells Carrie what she told Big. Miranda gets back with Steve. Samantha breaks up with Smith, moves back to NY. Charlotte has her baby. Carrie and Big get back together.

Eighty-nine words. For a two and a half hour movie. Hmmm ...

How does a 140 minute movie pack so little punch? I mean, Samantha and Smith's relationship, which I loved, disintegrated, culminating with Samantha saying "we need to talk" and Smith saying, "Nuts." Lame.

Charlotte had no storyline for this movie, other than being pregnant. 

And Carrie forgives Big... again? Lord. 

Whatever. I wasn't expecting much, just a little bit more. Sure, the fashion was great, but that's not really why I watched the show. I just thought they could have done better.

Other thoughts: In a moment that would have made every man in American roll his eyes, my audience GASPED (LOUDLY) when Steve said he slept with someone else... I don't care what you say, no one aged worse in the four years than Jason Lewis (Smith) ... I think Kristin Davis is the best of the four actresses, she's hilarious and sad as Charlotte.

They had four years. Shame. Final Grade: C

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BABY MAMA

One sentence review: How could they take the two funniest women on TV/Film right now and reduce them to that?

Final Grade: C -